Volpone
Zombie Hunter
There may be a term for it. But I don't know. I do know it is perhaps best illustrated in the novel "Tarzan." Tarzan/Lord Greystoke is raised by apes. Living with the apes, he becomes nearly as strong as they are--just because he has to. Kind of like the Greek story of the strongman who lifts a cow every day. It starts out a baby calf, so it is fairly easy to lift. And since he lifted it yesterday, he should be able to lift it today--even when it weighs, like, a half ton. But I'm rambling. Back on point. Also, because his parents were expecting when they started their trip, they brought along books to teach their unborn child to read. When Tarzan rediscovers his home (his parents were shipwrecked and set up a Swiss Family Robinson treehouse before being killed by the apes), he teaches himself to read and write.
I've always kind of ascribed to this mindset.
And I'm here to tell you I'm totally and utterly wrong.
Awhile back I had to take calculus classes. Prior to that, I hadn't had a math class in 15 years. But math is just rules. And I'm a smart guy. I can just start in at Calc 101.
I sat down in that class and the teacher started out drawing graphs: "Now, we all know that f(x)^2 looks like this. And f(x)^3 looks like *this*..." I know all that now, but at the time I sat until I could get out of there and headed to the registrar's to drop the class and sign up for precalc.
Back in the days of the Rubik's Cube, I knew people who could figure it out by themselves. Not me. I needed a book. Once I read the book I could solve it. Flash forward to today. I've long forgotten 95% of the book but a store had Rubik's Cubes so I wondered if my now larger brain could solve it.
It can't. I can get about 70% of the way, but then I lose it. And then I have to re-remember how to get back to the 70%.
Last but not least (and the reason for this screed (besides sweet, sweet alcohol)) is the heartwarming anecdote of the American immigrant (we're talking 1920s-ish here) who bought a movie ticket and just sat and watched the same movie over and over and over until he learned English. Sounds like a plan, right? I've always wanted to learn German. Took a couple classes, memorized some phrases from a book, but never got around to diving in 100%. Probably the 2 movies I know best are the 1989 Tim Burton "Batman" and "Star Wars." So today I fired up the YouTube.
I'm here to tell you I got about 4 words out of the 4 minute rooftop fight scene at the end of Batman. And maybe 3 in the "I am your father" scene from Empire.
I'm a clever boy. But I'm not just going to wake up one day and say "I know kung fu."
I've always kind of ascribed to this mindset.
And I'm here to tell you I'm totally and utterly wrong.
Awhile back I had to take calculus classes. Prior to that, I hadn't had a math class in 15 years. But math is just rules. And I'm a smart guy. I can just start in at Calc 101.
I sat down in that class and the teacher started out drawing graphs: "Now, we all know that f(x)^2 looks like this. And f(x)^3 looks like *this*..." I know all that now, but at the time I sat until I could get out of there and headed to the registrar's to drop the class and sign up for precalc.
Back in the days of the Rubik's Cube, I knew people who could figure it out by themselves. Not me. I needed a book. Once I read the book I could solve it. Flash forward to today. I've long forgotten 95% of the book but a store had Rubik's Cubes so I wondered if my now larger brain could solve it.
It can't. I can get about 70% of the way, but then I lose it. And then I have to re-remember how to get back to the 70%.
Last but not least (and the reason for this screed (besides sweet, sweet alcohol)) is the heartwarming anecdote of the American immigrant (we're talking 1920s-ish here) who bought a movie ticket and just sat and watched the same movie over and over and over until he learned English. Sounds like a plan, right? I've always wanted to learn German. Took a couple classes, memorized some phrases from a book, but never got around to diving in 100%. Probably the 2 movies I know best are the 1989 Tim Burton "Batman" and "Star Wars." So today I fired up the YouTube.
I'm here to tell you I got about 4 words out of the 4 minute rooftop fight scene at the end of Batman. And maybe 3 in the "I am your father" scene from Empire.
I'm a clever boy. But I'm not just going to wake up one day and say "I know kung fu."