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The Cassie and Tisiphone Detective Team Adventures: Halloween 2015 Special

Dr Dave

Dr Dave

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Episode 1: A call from headvoid

Cassie and Tisiphone, LADY DETECTIVES sat on the porch of their house. Cassie sipping from a cup of lemonaid (in a Captain Kirk glass), Tisiphone had her's, which was 99% vodka and 1% lemon aid in a Zelda cup.

Suddenly the phone rang, Cassie answered it (she kept it from Tisiphone who kept answering "Boner farm!").

"Cassie and Tisiphone, lady detectives!" said Cassie

"Hi Cassie and Tisiphone, this is headvoid!" said headvoid

"What's up chicken nut?" asked Cassie

"You're needed over here in jolly old England!" said headvoid

"What for?" asked Tisiphone crankely, who had wanted to answer the phone

"Well, somebody went and stole Churchill's body from his tomb, and I think they may have used subliminal advertising to do it!" said heavoid

"We'll be right there!" said Cassie

To be continued...
 
Episode 2: Welcome to Millwall

Cassie and Tisiphone, LADY DETECTIVES landed at a nearly empty airport. The only person there apart from a deciveld security guard was headvoid.

"Where is eveybody?" asked Cassie

"There hiding from the werewolf of Millwall" said headvoid

"Yeah why did we land here anyway?" asked Tisiphone

"London's main airport got shut down when some advert told people to launch pumpkins onto the tarmack." replied headvoid

"We better get going to London, to see the gravesite." said Cassie

"First we got to get past the werewolf!" said headvoid

To be continued...
 
Episode 3: To the tube enterence!

Cassie and Tisiphone, lady detectives proceded outside the airport to get to inner london.

"Surley we can get a taxi?" exclaimed Tisiphone

"They're all hiding from the werewolf of Millwall." said headvoid

"We shall have to proceed on foot till we can find a enterence to the underground." said Cassie

The night was very quiet, everybody seemed to be hiding. Bags of empty crips blew in the wind "London tumbleweeds" headvoid called them

A howl was heard.

"It's the warewolf!" said headvoid

Tisiphone got out her machetee, Cassie her peni cutting knife.

"The tube enterence is this way." said headvoid pointing down the street. "About 3 blocks" he added.

"Let's go." said Cassie

The group proceded down the empty streets, suddenly a man jumped out from an allyway

"HE'S COMIGN, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES LADY DETECTIVES, AND REMEMBNER THE MINE FIELD RENUNUION ON THE 16th!" said the man, whom the group recoginsed as CaptainWacky (who ran off in the opposite direction).

"Come back CaptainWacky!" shouted Cassie, but he was long one.

"He can run fast for a scotsman." said headvoid

"Let's get going, this place is creepyer then Loktar's underpants shelf." said Tisiphone

"I'm not even going to ask how you know that..." said Cassie

At the tube enterence a man sat on a park bench.

"Hurry Cassie and Tisiphone, lady detectives...hurry..." he said

To be continued...
 
Episode 4: Werewolf's of Loktar

Cassie and Tisiphone LADY DETECTIVES, along with marking guru headvoid rushed to the tube enterence, along the way rushing past the now hordes of pannicing Millwall residents.

One man rushed up from behind a dumpster and began shouting "MECHA QUEEN IS UPON US!", Tisiphone smacked him with a cricket bat.

Another with multiple bite marks remarked as he rushed by that "THE END WAS NEAR, I CANT FIND MY CRIPS!"

"People here sure panic easily." said Tisiphone

"Dr Dave would blame the french, I'm not sure who to blame. I suspect more subliminal advertising." responded headvoid

"Look!" said Cassie, pointing to something at the enterence to the tube, it was a man on a park bench "Loktar!"

A howling came from Loktar as they approached. Tisiphone grabbed a rolled up news paper that was on the ground and began beating Loktar with it.

"Stop!" shouted Loktar

"Bad wearworlf, Bad Loktar!" shouted back Tisiphone

"I'm not the wearwolf, I'm just hungery!" said Loktar

"Then explain the beard." said Cassie

"I'm growing a beard!" responded Loktar

"Seems legit." noted headvoid

"There are noises coming from down there." said Loktar

"What kind?" asked Cassie

"zombie like noises." responded Loktar

"We have no choice but to go down there. We must get to inner London." said Cassie

"Agreed." said Tisiphone

The group proceded downstairs

"Wait, don't leave me!" shouted Loktar as the group left

"Bye Loktar, good luck with the beard!" shouted Tisiphone

To be continued...
 
I read somewhere that beards turn people Scottish. But mostly they only do that to people who are already very nearly Scottish.
 
Episode 5: A beard of bees, a tube of hipsters.

Cassie and Tisiphone Lady Detectives proceeded into the tube tunnel with friend headvoid. The group was hacking and slashing zombie hipsters. The fight was going well, and in the midst of the battle, headvoid posed a question.

"How can you tell the diffrence been hipsters and zombie hipsters?" asked headvoid

"You can't", said a familiar voice.

" Detective Dr Dave!" shouted Cassie and Tisiphone

"You have a beard of bees!" said heavoid

"Indeed." replied Detective Dr Dave

"How is the path ahead?" asked Cassie

"There are sporadic zombie hipsters. I chased many of them off the secret weapon against hipsters." replied Detective Dr Dave

"Which is?" asked headvoid

"I mostly just smashed budwiser bottles on their heads." replied Detective Dr Dave

"That's not a secret weapon!" said Tisiphone

"They only like hip beers like PBR." noted Detective Dr Dave

"Will you come with us Detective Dr Dave?" asked Cassie

"Alas no, I have to see a man in Millwall about a football scarf." replied Detective Dr Dave

To be continued...
 
Episode 6: I see London, I see France, I see CaptainWacky with underpants on his head.

Cassie and Tisiphone, Lady Detectives arrived in London. It had been a swift journey for the duo, along with advertising man headvoid. Detective Dr Dave's beard of bees had scared off most of the hipster zombies. Arriving out of the tube they saw many people in costumes, and to their surprise one was CaptainWacky.

"CaptainWacky!" said Cassie and Tisiphone

"Hi." replied CaptainWacky, who looked most displeased.

"What's wrong?" asked Cassie

"The costume police made me wear a costume!" replied CaptainWacky who had a pair of underpants on his head

"NICE NICKERS PORGY!" shouted a random chav.

Cassie ran over and stabbed him in the crotch.

"He was probably a zombie!" said Cassie

"We better get going to the grave site." said Tisiphone

Cassie then explained their mission to CaptainWacky

"You'll have a tough time getting though the crowds. But I think I know a man who can hot wire a lorry." said CaptainWacky

Just then the man walked up.

"FBI Part Due!" shouted the group

"Let's get mad and jack a truck." said FBI Part Due.

To be continued...
 
Episode 7: Let's jack a lorry!

The group consisting of Cassie and Tisiphone (Lady Detectives), headvoid, and now FBI Part Due walked over to a nearby lorry, that had advertising for crisps on it.

"Good truck!" stated CaptainWacky

"Yeah, quick get in before the driver gets back." said FBI Part Due.

The group got into the truck and FBI began the operation of hotwiring it, it started immedetly.

"To the grave site!" said CaptainWacky

Meanwhile in the back of the truck, inbwtween boxes of crips, a man woke up. He was on a park bench.

"How...wait am I in the back of a truck?" said the man

"Yes Loktar, you are." said Detective Dr Dave.

"I thought you were in Millwall, I saw you leave and go into a pub." said Loktar

"I got bored." said Detective Dr Dave

"Maybe I should give them directions!" said Bick, who was nearby drawing a map on a box of crips.

"I'm sure they will find their way. Just whatever you do, don't open The Bick Box" said Detective Dr Dave, who after he had said this realized his mistake.

Bick opend the Bick Box.

Everything went black.

To be continued...
 
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