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The Expendables

eloisel

eloisel

Forever Empress E
For some reason I was thinking that "The Expendables" was the name of another movie - the one with Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman, Karl Urban, Richard Dreyfuss, John Malkovich, Ernest Borgnine, etc. - which I found out is "RED".

Anyway,

When I saw who was in it:
Arnold
Stallone
Jet Li
Jason Strathom
Bruce Willis
Charisma Carpenter
I thought I might like it anyway.

I don't think they made the movie "The Expendables" for me. It had some good lines here and there and those old guys are holding up well and it was nice seeing Charisma Carpenter back to looking gorgeous. But, I can only take so much exploding bodies, exploding buildings, exploding cars, guys beating the hell out of each other, stabbing, knife throwing, fire bombing, whole rooms full of people being killed pretty darn quickly by a couple of men.

This movie is definitely for a different demographic than me so I won't even rate it.
 
I will. It was bloody awful. I, a forty-mumblemumble year old man, saw it with a twelve year old, and we both thought it sucked. Predictably banal, no plot or character development, all it really did was show us that men can be just as vain as women when it comes to desperately trying to hold onto youth through bad plastic surgery and botox. By the end I was quoting lines of dialog BEFORE the characters said them, which cracked up my boy to no end.

We saw Salt as a double feature, and while it wasn't awesome it was a MUCH better movie than the Expendables.

PS saw Scott Pilgrim today. THAT movie is hilarious, and is everything Expendables isn't. I highly recommend it...
 
eloisel said:
For some reason I was thinking that "The Expendables" was the name of another movie - the one with Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman, Karl Urban, Richard Dreyfuss, John Malkovich, Ernest Borgnine, etc. - which I found out is "RED".

Anyway,

When I saw who was in it:
Arnold
Stallone
Jet Li
Jason Strathom
Bruce Willis
Charisma Carpenter
I thought I might like it anyway.

I don't think they made the movie "The Expendables" for me. It had some good lines here and there and those old guys are holding up well and it was nice seeing Charisma Carpenter back to looking gorgeous. But, I can only take so much exploding bodies, exploding buildings, exploding cars, guys beating the hell out of each other, stabbing, knife throwing, fire bombing, whole rooms full of people being killed pretty darn quickly by a couple of men.

This movie is definitely for a different demographic than me so I won't even rate it.
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So you didn't see any of those mangasm trailers they were running for months?

I mean..shit..it's in the title.

Have you considered lightening up?
 
'Gear said:
So you didn't see any of those mangasm trailers they were running for months?

I mean..shit..it's in the title.

Have you considered lightening up?
Click to expand...

If you wish for me to consider you anything other than a prick, then you might try not being a prick.
 
Donovan said:
I will. It was bloody awful. I, a forty-mumblemumble year old man, saw it with a twelve year old, and we both thought it sucked. Predictably banal, no plot or character development, all it really did was show us that men can be just as vain as women when it comes to desperately trying to hold onto youth through bad plastic surgery and botox. By the end I was quoting lines of dialog BEFORE the characters said them, which cracked up my boy to no end.

We saw Salt as a double feature, and while it wasn't awesome it was a MUCH better movie than the Expendables.

PS saw Scott Pilgrim today. THAT movie is hilarious, and is everything Expendables isn't. I highly recommend it...
Click to expand...

What is surprising is the critics aren't panning it outright. But The Expendables is getting Bs. Plus it took top box office draw over the past weekend.

You're right about the dialogue. I'm not as familiar with their movies as the target audience yet I knew what they were going to say and do too.
 
The "critics" are hating on the movie, and the crowd generally liked it (it got a respectable 7.7 on IMDB).

It's meant to be a tribute to old school action movies, which are pretty much mindless, predictable, full of testosterone, and devoid of anything remotely resembling intelligence.

Criticizing the movie for what it's supposed to be = missing the point.

Reminds me of those who criticized The Boondock Saints for being "too self righteous" or those who criticized 300 for "lack of historical accuracy".
 
Marquis De Sade said:
The "critics" are hating on the movie, and the crowd generally liked it (it got a respectable 7.7 on IMDB).

It's meant to be a tribute to old school action movies, which are pretty much mindless, predictable, full of testosterone, and devoid of anything remotely resembling intelligence.

Criticizing the movie for what it's supposed to be = missing the point.

Reminds me of those who criticized The Boondock Saints for being "too self righteous" or those who criticized 300 for "lack of historical accuracy".
Click to expand...

Thank god we have an expert on missing the point to explain it to us. I grew up in the 80's dumbass. I saw most of those "mindless actioners" you speak of. Many were great. Some were shit.

This one is shit. It's self-reverential without remembering to be tongue-in-cheek, mindless without being funny, and awful without being irreverent. The action scenes where saggy Stallone tries to keep up with Statham were awkward, stilted and forced; the "cameos" by Mickey "Marbleface" Rourke were downright painful to watch. They tried to shoehorn that UFC dude in there, and Jet Li spent the whole movie asking himself "wtf am I doing in here with these clowns?" Even the much hyped AHHH-nold bit was a waste of ten seconds of good film that could have been used to watch paint dry.

There are tons of great movies about "old tough guys" out for one last job. The Limey comes to mind, but there are others. This just isn't one of them.
 
You know a movie about an old man I wanna see?

A movie about Neil Armstrong.

Don't know if some of you have heard this story, but someone came up to Neil and started ranting and raving about how the moon landings were fake. Neil calmly punched the dude in the face and left. A little while later, Neil sued the guy he punched in the face and won.

I wanna see a movie about an old salty guy like that.

As for the Expendables, you can count on the fact that I'll torrent it, then watch it while intoxicated. That way, I won't have to spend any money on it and I'll be numb to intelligent plot lines, so I'll probably enjoy it.

As soon as I saw that the Planet Hollywood crew (Stallone, Willis, Schwarzenegger) was making another run at an action movie, I decided it was going to suck. Kinda like their restaurants, overpriced, full of bad taste, and destined to fail.
 
Donovan said:
Thank god we have an expert on missing the point to explain it to us.
Click to expand...

Was that supposed to be a meaningful sentence ?

I grew up in the 80's dumbass.
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Then behave like someone who grew up in the eighties, you childish dolt, instead of regurgitating half-assed insults at someone just because they disagree with you about a movie.
 
Jean Claude Van Damme was invided to take a part in this move, and outright refused to have anything to do with either it, or anyone in the cast! :huh:
 
starguard said:
Jean Claude Van Damme was invided to take a part in this move, and outright refused to have anything to do with either it, or anyone in the cast! :huh:
Click to expand...

He probably didn't want anyone to ask him about that weird bump on his head.
 
Marquis De Sade said:
The "critics" are hating on the movie, and the crowd generally liked it (it got a respectable 7.7 on IMDB).

It's meant to be a tribute to old school action movies, which are pretty much mindless, predictable, full of testosterone, and devoid of anything remotely resembling intelligence.

Criticizing the movie for what it's supposed to be = missing the point.

Reminds me of those who criticized The Boondock Saints for being "too self righteous" or those who criticized 300 for "lack of historical accuracy".
Click to expand...

I loved 300. They need to send all those guys in costume to my house to work on the yard.
 
Conchaga said:
You know a movie about an old man I wanna see?

A movie about Neil Armstrong.

Don't know if some of you have heard this story, but someone came up to Neil and started ranting and raving about how the moon landings were fake. Neil calmly punched the dude in the face and left. A little while later, Neil sued the guy he punched in the face and won.

I wanna see a movie about an old salty guy like that.
Click to expand...

Agreed. There is a biography about him out there. Haven't read it but it is probably very interesting.
 
Donovan said:
Thank god we have an expert on missing the point to explain it to us. I grew up in the 80's dumbass. I saw most of those "mindless actioners" you speak of. Many were great. Some were shit.

This one is shit. It's self-reverential without remembering to be tongue-in-cheek, mindless without being funny, and awful without being irreverent. The action scenes where saggy Stallone tries to keep up with Statham were awkward, stilted and forced; the "cameos" by Mickey "Marbleface" Rourke were downright painful to watch. They tried to shoehorn that UFC dude in there, and Jet Li spent the whole movie asking himself "wtf am I doing in here with these clowns?" Even the much hyped AHHH-nold bit was a waste of ten seconds of good film that could have been used to watch paint dry.

There are tons of great movies about "old tough guys" out for one last job. The Limey comes to mind, but there are others. This just isn't one of them.
Click to expand...

I wonder why Arnold even did it. Is he giving his fee to the state to help out their deficit issues?
 
eloisel said:
Yes. You are still a prick.
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I agree. So now what? Should we call each other names some more? That's pretty childish, so this time, I'm not going to stoop to your level.

I don't really care if you think I'm a prick. I like this group of people so I think I'm going to stay.
 
'Gear said:
I agree. So now what? Should we call each other names some more? That's pretty childish, so this time, I'm not going to stoop to your level.

I don't really care if you think I'm a prick. I like this group of people so I think I'm going to stay.
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Did you think you needed my permission or something?

And, asswipe, I was stooping to your level.
 
eloisel said:
Did you think you needed my permission or something?

And, asswipe, I was stooping to your level.
Click to expand...

Is that how you took it? You must consider yourself to be very important to interpret what I said as a request for permission.

Good for you! Congratulations on your perceived importance. I hope it works out well for you.

There you go with the childish name calling again. Or "stooping to my level" as it were. Tsk tsk. Childish and frankly beneath me. I get called much worse by my so-called compatriots day in and day out over where I came from.

You're going to have to try a whole lot harder if you want to fight with me.
 
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