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The Hidden Dangers of FISHING!

SamhainP8

I Love Luci
I had to go to the hospital to have a fish bone removed from my big toe! I guess that will teach me a lesson.
You see I was fishing with my dad (I am not a huge fan of fishing but I love spending time with my dad because he is so cool and I hardly ever get to see him, not sure how much time we have to spend together) in his boat (it fits 2 people comfortably or three at a pinch) on the Tweed (far far far north coast NSW) and we were drifting some blue pilchards (you might know of them as anchovies) along the rock wall at the mouth (of the river between the bay and the hospital) and I hooked a really good sized Bream (sort of Nemo shaped, silver and with yellow fins).



It put up a really good fight (lasted about 3 minutes), it was so funny because my dad was excited about how big it was and he was telling me “just take it easy†over and over again as he frantically tried to get the net. We needed a net because we were only fishing with light line and Bream when they get big have sharp teeth for crushing oysters and other yummy marine goodies. Anyhow dad finally gets the fish in the net and then into the boat, but as we pulled it into the boat it jump out of the net and the hook came out of it’s mouth and it started going spastic all over the dam place in the bottom of the boat. By this stage I was swearing and my old man was laughing his head off. Dad gave it a whack on the head with his fish donger and that calmed it down a bit. So here I am holding this big bream while dad took a photo on my new digital camera (don’t you just love digi cameras! This is my first one and already I have taken about 200 pictures!) and the bloody fish spoofed all over me! I didn’t know what was happening!!! My dad told me that at this time of the year all the bream congregate at the mouth of the river to spawn so all the males are loaded to the gills with sperm. It just so happened that it decided it could no longer hold onto it’s baby batter (might have had something to do with the whack on the head it got only seconds before) just as I was holding it for a photo. At first it just sort of dribbled out and I didn’t know what was happening but then it started to pump out (I was holding it fairly tightly for the picture anyway which I am sure didn’t help). When I realised what was happening I threw it to the floor of the boat but as I did a big dollop of Bream spoof flew through the air and landed right across my nose and I also got some into my right eye. By this stage my old man was in hysteric fits of laugher and I was hysterical with anger and disgust. So there I was trying to wipe sperm off my face and trying to stop my old man from falling out of the boat. I don’t know what came over me but I seen the fish laying on the bottom of the boat and I thought to myself “you little fcuker†and kicked it (I have a short temper at the best of times). Unfortunately due to riggimortis it’s fins were sticking straight out and I happened to kick it right there so one of the largest dorsal spines went straight into my big toe and snapped off!! This sent my old man into another spate of hysteria as I rolled around the bottom of the boat screaming in pain! So I am rolling around the boat with the mother load of all money shots in my face and blood pissing out of my toe. Lucky (as I mentioned previously) we were near the hospital so dad just dropped my off on that little beach at the end of the rock wall and I hobbled off to the hospital! (dad went back to fishing, I could hear him still laughing as he motored off up the river for another drift). 4 hours latter I finally get a doctor to give me an x-ray and then finally pull this bloody spine out of my toe. Now I have to take a course of antibiotics because he said that it would most likely get infected, which means no drinking……. So that’s how I spent my Saturday. Then last night I went to the pub for dinner with the old bastard and he proceeded to tell everyone in the pub the story while I had to sit there in my sober state. I am sure it is something that we will look back on for and laugh about. I am not quite at the laughing about it stage yet though.

Yeah that's right i got fish gack in my eye, but that doesn't make YOU any less of a POOFTER, you sick FAG!
 
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