The "how will Ken Russell die dramatically and horribly in BB" thread

[headvoid]

Ken is in the middle of reenacting a scene of "Revenge of the Elephant Man" for Leo when H enters the room, thinking he is having some sort of breathing difficulties H attempts the heimlich manouvre. Ken gets so excited he dies, his erection is seen on live television.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Ken reveals that he has lost the ability to form new memories "like that guy in Memento" and Dirk sets fire to his feet. Ken forgets his feet are on fire and burns to death. Nobody intervenes.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Ken's Alzheimer's kicks in and he constantly mistakes Dirk Benedict for Twiggy, asking him to Charleston and sing "Poor Little Pierette" and then blow him in his trailer if he wants to keep playing Polly in his movie.

To which Dirk finally snaps, as in Ken's neck.










NOTE: The KR film being referenced here is The Boy Friend. I did the musical on stage in my youth.

 

[headvoid]

Dirk attempts to show him how they used to make bazookas from Cif scouring powder cannisters in the A team. Ken attempts to get a close in shot with his pretend film camera hands. The Bazooka explodes showering Ken with powder. He shouts "My Eyes, the goggles do nothing!" before dying of Mixamatosis.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Ken realises he's missed the Torchwood finale and dies of a broken heart.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Ken wanders off the lot onto the set of Deal or No Deal and dies from a 3" stiletto heel impaled in his forehead by #16, who he calls a "stupid fat cow".

 

[Mentalist]

Jeffery Archer digs underneath the BB house using David Mellor as a shovel and breaches the floor underneath Ken causing a destructive tectonic convergent boundary to form, killing everyone in a nine-mile-radius except for Davina, who is miraculously now carrying the child of Jermasayer; the hybrid creation of Jermaine Jackson and Leo Sayer by a stray Brannon Braga inspired sub-transphasic transporter beam that had one of Tuvok's Lilac's in it or some such similar monkey eyebrow gliggyegg reasoning.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Hitler shoots him lol.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

He dies in his sleep from being an EIGHTY YEAR OLD DRUG ADDICT YO LOL

 

[whisky]

He sees the two young fit birds lessing up and has a heart attack

 

[Fuddlemiff]

He win's big brother only to fall down the stairs(naked) and with his dying breath, impregnates Davina so she'll have a bump in time for the summer series.

 

[Mentalist]

Davina's a:

 

[CaptainWacky]

Big Munta more ACCURATELY.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Awww, that's HORRIBLE!

Big MOUTH, more like. Jesus Christ, it wouldn't be BB without Davina pointing at her belly "look, I had sex again!"

 

[CaptainWacky]

Russel could take over in a flash.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Nude? EXCITING!