CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Charles Horse strode confidently into the school. He looked at various people. They looked back at him. Some smiled nervously. All of them looke slightly puzzled, trying to recognise him. Trying to figure out who he'd been.
"It's me, Charles!" he said to one of them.
"Charles..." he said.
"Horse! How's it going...sorry..."
"David," the other said.
"We sat next to each other in maths!" said Charles. "Don't you remember?"
"You know, I think I do!" said David.
"We had some laughs at that deaf old bint!" said Charles. "Remember? The deaf teacher? Haha."
"Yeah, I remember something like that," said David, looking over to a woman who was kind of smiling nervously.
"So you two got married, eh!" said Charles. "I always knew you would! Even when you were shagging around with that girl who was three years below us. Bit dodgy that, Dave!"
"What!" saidt he woman.
"Oh, there's my old best mate, got to go!" said Charles, leaving David and the woman looking confused and somewhat angry.
"Oh, uhh, hi," said the person Charles was now grinning that.
"Remember running up and down this hall, looking up skirts, throwing spitballs at teachers. Crazy days!" said Horse.
"Uhh...this isn't the same building we went to school in," said the other. "They tore it down about five years ago and built a new one."
"Oh, well, to tell you the truth, I didn't go to this school anyway," said Charles. "I didn't even live in this town! I just show up at reunions to confuse people! I'M A REAL WINNER."
He woke up in bed.
____________________________________
"Well, no."
"No?"
"You didn't just wake up in bed. That wasn't a dream. It was a story you were writing."
"A story that ends with me waking up in bed!"
"That wasn't how it started. You were going to write a real story about going to a school reunion. Then you realised you didn't know how to do that, so you twisted it to you going to the wrong reunion to mess with people. As if you would ever be capable of that."
"I could!"
"You don't really know anything about school reunions either."
"They exist! I've seen them in tv shows and movies, probably!"
"I guess they do. But you'd never go to one."
"Well, no. How could I explain being Charles Horse?"
"It would take a lot of words...or not many to explain at all."
"Nobody would remember me anyway."
"True. It would be nice if you were able to say you were bullied in school to explain how you turned out, but even the bullies ignored you."
"And I wouldn't recognise any of them either, since I never made eye contact with them."
"What about some of the girls you wanked over?"
"I looked some of them up on Facebook. They all got old."
"They're the same age as you."
"Exactly. I wonder if they were ever attractive or if I'd just wank to anything back then."
"At least you could wank then. Whoever could have predicted you'd end up impotent..."
"That would be a story for the reunion!"
"That probably doesn't happen and even if it did you'd never go to it."
"Yes, that reunion."
"It's all a joke, isn't it? Life."
"Well you're just a voice in my head and not even real, so yes, to you it is. To me it's a tragedy."
"What are you if you're not a voice in your head as well?"
"I'm...huh. You're right."
"See? It's a joke. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I might start burning myself."
"It's me, Charles!" he said to one of them.
"Charles..." he said.
"Horse! How's it going...sorry..."
"David," the other said.
"We sat next to each other in maths!" said Charles. "Don't you remember?"
"You know, I think I do!" said David.
"We had some laughs at that deaf old bint!" said Charles. "Remember? The deaf teacher? Haha."
"Yeah, I remember something like that," said David, looking over to a woman who was kind of smiling nervously.
"So you two got married, eh!" said Charles. "I always knew you would! Even when you were shagging around with that girl who was three years below us. Bit dodgy that, Dave!"
"What!" saidt he woman.
"Oh, there's my old best mate, got to go!" said Charles, leaving David and the woman looking confused and somewhat angry.
"Oh, uhh, hi," said the person Charles was now grinning that.
"Remember running up and down this hall, looking up skirts, throwing spitballs at teachers. Crazy days!" said Horse.
"Uhh...this isn't the same building we went to school in," said the other. "They tore it down about five years ago and built a new one."
"Oh, well, to tell you the truth, I didn't go to this school anyway," said Charles. "I didn't even live in this town! I just show up at reunions to confuse people! I'M A REAL WINNER."
He woke up in bed.
____________________________________
"Well, no."
"No?"
"You didn't just wake up in bed. That wasn't a dream. It was a story you were writing."
"A story that ends with me waking up in bed!"
"That wasn't how it started. You were going to write a real story about going to a school reunion. Then you realised you didn't know how to do that, so you twisted it to you going to the wrong reunion to mess with people. As if you would ever be capable of that."
"I could!"
"You don't really know anything about school reunions either."
"They exist! I've seen them in tv shows and movies, probably!"
"I guess they do. But you'd never go to one."
"Well, no. How could I explain being Charles Horse?"
"It would take a lot of words...or not many to explain at all."
"Nobody would remember me anyway."
"True. It would be nice if you were able to say you were bullied in school to explain how you turned out, but even the bullies ignored you."
"And I wouldn't recognise any of them either, since I never made eye contact with them."
"What about some of the girls you wanked over?"
"I looked some of them up on Facebook. They all got old."
"They're the same age as you."
"Exactly. I wonder if they were ever attractive or if I'd just wank to anything back then."
"At least you could wank then. Whoever could have predicted you'd end up impotent..."
"That would be a story for the reunion!"
"That probably doesn't happen and even if it did you'd never go to it."
"Yes, that reunion."
"It's all a joke, isn't it? Life."
"Well you're just a voice in my head and not even real, so yes, to you it is. To me it's a tragedy."
"What are you if you're not a voice in your head as well?"
"I'm...huh. You're right."
"See? It's a joke. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I might start burning myself."
