CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
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IT'S NOT A KEYBOARD IT'S AN ANGRY BOARD
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fhsjkf
fUSDFK
nto alive there is ntongi
this is it this is it on and on and on aond aontd a
on and on and on and on and on
until you go completely mad
then on and on and on and on and on and on some more
not joyfgsa
tg
gno
any joy is feeling
and on and ona and on and aon
fanlk fafk
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sji
PHYSICAL EVENT
fgaskl
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and on and aon
thandasnlgf
and THEN
you die
________________
Berty McGump wanted to make friends but didn't know how so he went to see the wise woman of Wickety Woods. Unfortunately Wickety Woods is home to a gang of Emo Thugs who kidnapped Berty.
"Hello!" he said, cheerfully, when they finally removed the sack off his head after three days of keeping him locked up in snakepit. "Could you chaps please direct me to the Wise Woman of Wickety Woods?"
"No, you neuro-typical conformist!" said the Lead Emo, or Lemo as he liked to be called (but he'd never admit to liking it or anything else, of course). "I AM A HAUNTED SOUL," he added, dramatically.
"Yes, well, we all have problems!" said Berty. "But at least we're alive and by the grace of God we will be for a long time to come, hroom hroom! Now, I appear to be lodged in a snakepit full of snakes. One has been nibbling my feet for the last two days. It's really quite unpleasant. Could you let me out?"
"WHY SHOULD I, CONFORMIST?" asked Lemo. "YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND ME AND MY PAIN!"
"And the pain of your emo army!" said a cute but sniffy goth girl.
"Whatever," said Lemo, dismissively. He hated his emo army.
"Well, I just want to make friends and I think the Wise Woman could help me..."
"Really?" said the sniffy goth girl, almost looking excited. "That's all I want too..."
"Pipe down, Susie!" said a fat emo, munching on a spider pie.
"Sorry," said Susie, meekly, blowing her nose on her goth rag.
"THE WISE WOMAN KNOWS NOTHING," said Lemo, ridiculously loudly. "She could never understand me or my pain!"
"Have you met her?" asked Berty.
"Well, no," said Lemo. "BUT WHAT COULD AN OLD FART KNOW ABOUT ME OR MY PAIN?"
"Well, I could ask her about you and your pai, when I meet her," said Berty, trying to compromise.
"SHUT UP, NORM!" said Lemo.
"YEAH, NORMY NORMY NORMY!" shouted the fatty and the others joined in, but Susie who just wiped her eyes with the same cloth she'd wiped her snot on.
"My name is Berty, not Norm," said Berty. "Please, I don't want to have you to use force."
"WHAT COULD ONE NEURAL-TYPICAL HUMANOID DO AGAINST MY DARK ARMY OF EMO AVENGERS?" asked Lemo.
"Well, there is this," said Berty. He effortless popped out of the snake pit and kicked the snake that had been nibbling his foot until Lemo's face. He decked the fat emo with a roundhouse kick. The other emos, but Susie, ran.
"Wow!" said Susie. "That was cool! I mean, uhh, violence is wrong and you are ruining the world and stuff. Did you kill Lemo?"
"No, but that snake seems to have eaten his nose," said Berty.
"Good," said Susie. "Can I leave with you? Please?"
"We shall find the wise woman together!" said Berty, taking her hand. They ran out of the emo lair together.
"Berty," said Susie, after they had been walking through the forest for a few minutes. "Why didn't you just pop out of the pit like that earlier?"
"I wanted to give Lemo a fair chance," said Berty, seriously. "Violence is wrong, you were right about that."
She grinned. "It's good to feel happy again," she said.
"WELL NOT FOR LONG," roared a voice. A lion jumped out from behind a tree. A lion WITH ROBOTIC LEGS.
"Aaaah, a robo-lion!" said Susie.
"Are these things common!?" asked Berty.
"Well, professor McDonald expiremented on zoo animals and released them into the woods to hunt down and kill emos. He couldn't understand us or our pain."
"STOP TALKING, HUMANS!" said the robo-lion. "I WILL MUNCH YOUR VERY SOULS! I HAVE THE MUNCHIES!"
"But I'm not an emo anymore!" said Susie.
"And I never was one!" said Berty.
"I DO NOT CARE! I DESIRE BLOOD! BLOOOOOOD!" the robo-lion lunged at them, its jaws open ready to snap...which they did, around a BIG BOULDER Berty had shoved in its mouth!
"Where did you get that from?" asked Susie as they ran from the recovering robo-lion.
"I always carry a boulder," said Berty, seriously. "Now, do you know where the wise woman lives?"
"Haven't got a fuckdamn clue!" said Susie.
"Well, we could ask that giant moth..." said Berty.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" said Susie.
TO BE CONTINUED
fg
fgjigfiojiputgf
rtfgNOT ALXCHIOv dnhnkfjiofydi[
gjhisdf-
jhopfsdjipjhipsdjipfjio zsdji[
IT'S NOT A KEYBOARD IT'S AN ANGRY BOARD
fgs
dfg
sdfhsjkfh tg DF
fhsjkf
fUSDFK
nto alive there is ntongi
this is it this is it on and on and on aond aontd a
on and on and on and on and on
until you go completely mad
then on and on and on and on and on and on some more
not joyfgsa
tg
gno
any joy is feeling
and on and ona and on and aon
fanlk fafk
fg
sji
PHYSICAL EVENT
fgaskl
fg
and on and aon
thandasnlgf
and THEN
you die
________________
Berty McGump wanted to make friends but didn't know how so he went to see the wise woman of Wickety Woods. Unfortunately Wickety Woods is home to a gang of Emo Thugs who kidnapped Berty.
"Hello!" he said, cheerfully, when they finally removed the sack off his head after three days of keeping him locked up in snakepit. "Could you chaps please direct me to the Wise Woman of Wickety Woods?"
"No, you neuro-typical conformist!" said the Lead Emo, or Lemo as he liked to be called (but he'd never admit to liking it or anything else, of course). "I AM A HAUNTED SOUL," he added, dramatically.
"Yes, well, we all have problems!" said Berty. "But at least we're alive and by the grace of God we will be for a long time to come, hroom hroom! Now, I appear to be lodged in a snakepit full of snakes. One has been nibbling my feet for the last two days. It's really quite unpleasant. Could you let me out?"
"WHY SHOULD I, CONFORMIST?" asked Lemo. "YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND ME AND MY PAIN!"
"And the pain of your emo army!" said a cute but sniffy goth girl.
"Whatever," said Lemo, dismissively. He hated his emo army.
"Well, I just want to make friends and I think the Wise Woman could help me..."
"Really?" said the sniffy goth girl, almost looking excited. "That's all I want too..."
"Pipe down, Susie!" said a fat emo, munching on a spider pie.
"Sorry," said Susie, meekly, blowing her nose on her goth rag.
"THE WISE WOMAN KNOWS NOTHING," said Lemo, ridiculously loudly. "She could never understand me or my pain!"
"Have you met her?" asked Berty.
"Well, no," said Lemo. "BUT WHAT COULD AN OLD FART KNOW ABOUT ME OR MY PAIN?"
"Well, I could ask her about you and your pai, when I meet her," said Berty, trying to compromise.
"SHUT UP, NORM!" said Lemo.
"YEAH, NORMY NORMY NORMY!" shouted the fatty and the others joined in, but Susie who just wiped her eyes with the same cloth she'd wiped her snot on.
"My name is Berty, not Norm," said Berty. "Please, I don't want to have you to use force."
"WHAT COULD ONE NEURAL-TYPICAL HUMANOID DO AGAINST MY DARK ARMY OF EMO AVENGERS?" asked Lemo.
"Well, there is this," said Berty. He effortless popped out of the snake pit and kicked the snake that had been nibbling his foot until Lemo's face. He decked the fat emo with a roundhouse kick. The other emos, but Susie, ran.
"Wow!" said Susie. "That was cool! I mean, uhh, violence is wrong and you are ruining the world and stuff. Did you kill Lemo?"
"No, but that snake seems to have eaten his nose," said Berty.
"Good," said Susie. "Can I leave with you? Please?"
"We shall find the wise woman together!" said Berty, taking her hand. They ran out of the emo lair together.
"Berty," said Susie, after they had been walking through the forest for a few minutes. "Why didn't you just pop out of the pit like that earlier?"
"I wanted to give Lemo a fair chance," said Berty, seriously. "Violence is wrong, you were right about that."
She grinned. "It's good to feel happy again," she said.
"WELL NOT FOR LONG," roared a voice. A lion jumped out from behind a tree. A lion WITH ROBOTIC LEGS.
"Aaaah, a robo-lion!" said Susie.
"Are these things common!?" asked Berty.
"Well, professor McDonald expiremented on zoo animals and released them into the woods to hunt down and kill emos. He couldn't understand us or our pain."
"STOP TALKING, HUMANS!" said the robo-lion. "I WILL MUNCH YOUR VERY SOULS! I HAVE THE MUNCHIES!"
"But I'm not an emo anymore!" said Susie.
"And I never was one!" said Berty.
"I DO NOT CARE! I DESIRE BLOOD! BLOOOOOOD!" the robo-lion lunged at them, its jaws open ready to snap...which they did, around a BIG BOULDER Berty had shoved in its mouth!
"Where did you get that from?" asked Susie as they ran from the recovering robo-lion.
"I always carry a boulder," said Berty, seriously. "Now, do you know where the wise woman lives?"
"Haven't got a fuckdamn clue!" said Susie.
"Well, we could ask that giant moth..." said Berty.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" said Susie.
TO BE CONTINUED
