CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"Think about it. You're the Wise Man of Wickity Woods. Now, something just happened. You don't know what, but you definitely know that something just happened. So, logically, what could it be? You're the Wise Man, you're super powerful. You feel it all. If something happens in your reality, you SHOULD know about it. Unless...it was something in another reality? Another reality converging with this one? Or...a reality altering spell? But who could have cast such a thing...well, it's either you are the Wise Woman, obviously. We're the only two powerful enough to alter reality in such a way. Now then, if it was you who altered the reality spell, then would you have been able to tell afterwards that something had happened? Surely you would have made it so that you DIDN'T know that things had just changed. Yes, you would. If you didn't want to know reality had been altered, you would have made sure. So it must have been the Wise Woman. The Wise Woman used a reality altering spell. But for what? What did that crazy old fool change?"
"Sir, might I think a suggestion?" said DENTALBOT38.
"Yes, DENTALBOT38?"
"Sir, why not cast a spell which shows any recent alterations to reality?"
"BRILLIANT! I knew I kept you in my employ for a reason! Yes, I know just the spell too...the Reailty Check spell!"
And the Wise Man, Berty, cast the Reality Check spell with his wand. And, by that, I mean his penis. For it was a quirk of the Wise Man that he always cast spells with his penis.
He could see the changes to reality, right away. He could see that his father had beent he Wise Man. He could see himself, sitting in a near catatonic state, unable to act as people died around him. He saw himself being presented with a choice and was disgusted by what he chose. He saw himself become the Wise Man, with false memories added.
"Well, that didn't take you long," said the Wise Woman, who had just appeared. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"You made me too powerful," said Berty, with a smile. "My father was insane, he could never use the power you gave him in any proper way. But me? I'm quite stable, really."
"Yes, I should have considered that," said the Wise Woman. "Still, you're the Wise Man now and you have obligations..."
"As the guardian of the woods, I know. You fear the coming of the Dark One and that's why you need a Wise Man and Wise Woman here in Wickity Woods."
"Exactly!"
"Well, find someone else, because I'm going to change reality back again."
"You...you can't! And anyway, you chose this!"
"I did not."
"You wanted to go home, with no thought for young Susie."
"I...I lost my mind! Things were crazy...I was scared...I'm only human..."
"Yes, perhaps you are. Maybe I should have turned the DENTALBOT into the Wise Man! He would have been better than you!"
"Where's Susie?"
"You mean you can't see outside? AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Maybe you're not that powerful after all."
Berty walked outside the hut. There was a duck pond outside. Susie Q was swimming there, with other ducks.
"She's happy," said the Wise Woman. "Leave her be."
"Fuck you," said Berty, whipping out his penis. He turned Susie Q back into the human Susie. She stood, fully clothed due to some contrivance of the spell, waise deep in the pond.
"Berty...why are you dressed like a wizard...why do you have your cock out!?" asked Susie.
"It's okay. Everything's gonig to be okay. Susie...I'm so sorry for what I said.."
"That's...that's okay, I could tell you were...I mean, you were right, the world is crazy."
"I know. But not I've lived with the craziness and I feel almost numb to it. Maybe...maybe we just have to do our best with what's given to us. And I know I said I don't know you well and things could go wrong...but I want to get to know you, I really do."
Susie finally got out of the duck pond and hugged Berty.
"Well that's all well and good but who's going to be the new Wise Man?" asked the Wise Woman.
"I think I have an idea..." said Berty.
TO BE CONCLUDED
"Sir, might I think a suggestion?" said DENTALBOT38.
"Yes, DENTALBOT38?"
"Sir, why not cast a spell which shows any recent alterations to reality?"
"BRILLIANT! I knew I kept you in my employ for a reason! Yes, I know just the spell too...the Reailty Check spell!"
And the Wise Man, Berty, cast the Reality Check spell with his wand. And, by that, I mean his penis. For it was a quirk of the Wise Man that he always cast spells with his penis.
He could see the changes to reality, right away. He could see that his father had beent he Wise Man. He could see himself, sitting in a near catatonic state, unable to act as people died around him. He saw himself being presented with a choice and was disgusted by what he chose. He saw himself become the Wise Man, with false memories added.
"Well, that didn't take you long," said the Wise Woman, who had just appeared. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"You made me too powerful," said Berty, with a smile. "My father was insane, he could never use the power you gave him in any proper way. But me? I'm quite stable, really."
"Yes, I should have considered that," said the Wise Woman. "Still, you're the Wise Man now and you have obligations..."
"As the guardian of the woods, I know. You fear the coming of the Dark One and that's why you need a Wise Man and Wise Woman here in Wickity Woods."
"Exactly!"
"Well, find someone else, because I'm going to change reality back again."
"You...you can't! And anyway, you chose this!"
"I did not."
"You wanted to go home, with no thought for young Susie."
"I...I lost my mind! Things were crazy...I was scared...I'm only human..."
"Yes, perhaps you are. Maybe I should have turned the DENTALBOT into the Wise Man! He would have been better than you!"
"Where's Susie?"
"You mean you can't see outside? AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Maybe you're not that powerful after all."
Berty walked outside the hut. There was a duck pond outside. Susie Q was swimming there, with other ducks.
"She's happy," said the Wise Woman. "Leave her be."
"Fuck you," said Berty, whipping out his penis. He turned Susie Q back into the human Susie. She stood, fully clothed due to some contrivance of the spell, waise deep in the pond.
"Berty...why are you dressed like a wizard...why do you have your cock out!?" asked Susie.
"It's okay. Everything's gonig to be okay. Susie...I'm so sorry for what I said.."
"That's...that's okay, I could tell you were...I mean, you were right, the world is crazy."
"I know. But not I've lived with the craziness and I feel almost numb to it. Maybe...maybe we just have to do our best with what's given to us. And I know I said I don't know you well and things could go wrong...but I want to get to know you, I really do."
Susie finally got out of the duck pond and hugged Berty.
"Well that's all well and good but who's going to be the new Wise Man?" asked the Wise Woman.
"I think I have an idea..." said Berty.
TO BE CONCLUDED
