CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
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Charles Horse posted on his message board.
"I am a growth. I am like a fungus. I am nothing but matter. Cells. Growing. That's all life is. Life wasn't ever guaranteed to happen. We could have gone the entire existence of the universe with no life. But it happened, by accident, and it evolved. It grow so much it became completely self away. But again, completely by accident. For billions of years there was no self aware fungus. Then, by random chance, there was. That doesn't make me important. Think of your own body. Imagine you got cancer. Cells, dividing too much, doing stuff they're not supposed to do. That's what all life is. We are the universe's cancer. An unwanted by product. We're not the reason the universe is here, we're not the reason for anything. Like how long we've been here compared to everything else. So it doesn't matter. We don't matter. Fungust doesn't matter. Yes we can think, but only because the fungus grew in a certain unwanted way. It means nothing. It lasts while the cells are arranged in such a way, but it doesn't last long. It could end in an instant. So it doesn't matter what I do, doesn't matter if I post on this message board or not. And, that is why, I'm leaving. Because I don't have to care anymore."
He posted it and went straight to bed without looking at the board again.
He dreamed he was back at school again. He had to go the toilet and he was naked for some reason. He hoped no one would see him. When he went back to his table he was in a restaurant but it made sense. There were two girls there. He offered to carry something for her to the Small Room. She let him. When they got there it was even smaller than expected and he said it should be called the Very Small Room. He woke up before he saw if she laughed or not.
He felt unsatisfied. Did she laugh? Did it matter? It wasn't even real. Real life wasn't even real, right, he was just fungus? So why did it matter if a girl in a dream laughed or not?
But it did matter. Oh fuck it mattered. Everything mattered. This was all he'd ever be. He was insignificant, but he was what he was. He had to do something important! Quack!
He checked the message board frantically to see if anyone had replied. He'd take it as a sign that life meant something if they had. Even if it was the racist guy he had on ignored. Maybe he'd take that as a sign that he should kill himself, actually. EIther way it would be something. It would...
"ERROR 404 PAGE CANNOT BE DISPLAYED"
The one thing he hadn't expected to see. The board was gone. In an instant. Like cancer, like fungus, like life. Like Charles Horse. Just random, there and gone. It had always been gone, he decided. HE had always been gone. He was already gone.
Charlse Horse was never really Charles Horse. He just thought he was for a while due to a particular arrangement of matter.
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Charles Horse 20?? - 2020
Charles Horse posted on his message board.
"I am a growth. I am like a fungus. I am nothing but matter. Cells. Growing. That's all life is. Life wasn't ever guaranteed to happen. We could have gone the entire existence of the universe with no life. But it happened, by accident, and it evolved. It grow so much it became completely self away. But again, completely by accident. For billions of years there was no self aware fungus. Then, by random chance, there was. That doesn't make me important. Think of your own body. Imagine you got cancer. Cells, dividing too much, doing stuff they're not supposed to do. That's what all life is. We are the universe's cancer. An unwanted by product. We're not the reason the universe is here, we're not the reason for anything. Like how long we've been here compared to everything else. So it doesn't matter. We don't matter. Fungust doesn't matter. Yes we can think, but only because the fungus grew in a certain unwanted way. It means nothing. It lasts while the cells are arranged in such a way, but it doesn't last long. It could end in an instant. So it doesn't matter what I do, doesn't matter if I post on this message board or not. And, that is why, I'm leaving. Because I don't have to care anymore."
He posted it and went straight to bed without looking at the board again.
He dreamed he was back at school again. He had to go the toilet and he was naked for some reason. He hoped no one would see him. When he went back to his table he was in a restaurant but it made sense. There were two girls there. He offered to carry something for her to the Small Room. She let him. When they got there it was even smaller than expected and he said it should be called the Very Small Room. He woke up before he saw if she laughed or not.
He felt unsatisfied. Did she laugh? Did it matter? It wasn't even real. Real life wasn't even real, right, he was just fungus? So why did it matter if a girl in a dream laughed or not?
But it did matter. Oh fuck it mattered. Everything mattered. This was all he'd ever be. He was insignificant, but he was what he was. He had to do something important! Quack!
He checked the message board frantically to see if anyone had replied. He'd take it as a sign that life meant something if they had. Even if it was the racist guy he had on ignored. Maybe he'd take that as a sign that he should kill himself, actually. EIther way it would be something. It would...
"ERROR 404 PAGE CANNOT BE DISPLAYED"
The one thing he hadn't expected to see. The board was gone. In an instant. Like cancer, like fungus, like life. Like Charles Horse. Just random, there and gone. It had always been gone, he decided. HE had always been gone. He was already gone.
Charlse Horse was never really Charles Horse. He just thought he was for a while due to a particular arrangement of matter.
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Charles Horse 20?? - 2020