CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"If you created robot versions of female celebrities and then had sex with them, would it be rape?"
"...what?"
"You heard me."
"Why...how...you can't...are you going to make robots?"
"I'm just asking a question. Would it be rape?"
"Well...would the robots be sentient?"
"I don't know. I supposed that's up to the Turing Test."
"But in theory would they be sentient?"
"I don't know! I guess it depends on how good I am at robot building."
"Would you ask them for their consent first, assuming their sentient."
"Well, they'd be sexbots. I'd programme them to want to have sex with me. So they'd always say yes."
"Then I guess it's not rape."
"What, so if I brainwash someone into wanting to have sex with me, that wouldn't be rape either?"
"No! I mean, yes, of course that would be rape! Fuck's sake! But it's not the same thing."
"Isn't it? The robots would have no choice in the matter. They'd want nothing but sex with me."
"Well if they have no free will then they can't be sentient, can they?"
"I don't know. Is someone who's been hypnotised sentient?"
"Uhh...yes?"
"Anyway, my robots are of very poor quality so this is unlikely to ever happen."
"What about the holodeck in Star Trek?"
"I WANT ONE."
__________________________
"I just saw Donkey Kong in my bathroom door."
"...what?"
"In the pattern of the bathroom door. Donkey Kong, staring at me."
"You hadn't noticed that before?"
"It wasn't there before."
"What? That door's been the same since you moved here."
"Exactly. I stare at that door every day when I'm taking a shit. No Donkey Kong before. But now? There's his face."
"What does this mean?"
"That Donkey Kong has chosen to appear to me in my bathroom door, of course."
"But...Donkey Kong's a fictional character."
"Is He?"
"Why did you say He like that? Like Donkey Kong is God?"
"Isn't He?"
"Stop that!"
"He's scared of ice, you know."
"What?"
"It never comes up in the games. But he is."
"I'm sure there were ice levels in some of the games..."
"He acted like he wasn't scared, but on the inside he was. I could tell. I could feel it through my SNES."
"You've...had a strange relationship with Donkey Kong for a long time, haven't you?"
"He came to my parents' day at school once. Threw a barrel at a teacher who said I was a troublemaker."
"Did he, now..."
"The police tried to say it was me. But how could I throw a big barrel like that? I was just a small child at the time. That teacher died, you know."
"This has taken a turn."
"Not from the barrel attack. Seventeen years later. Cancer."
"Oh."
"I think Donkey Kong gave him cancer."
"And we're back again..."
"You better not be making fun of me. Donkey Kong doesn't take kindly to that, Diddy."
"My name isn't Diddy. I'm a figment of your imagination you talk to sometimes."
"Yes, yes you are. Unlike Donkey Kong. He's real. AND HE'S COMING TO GET YOU!"
___________________
Charles Horse laughed at this conversation he'd just played in his head. He wished he'd had it with a real person insteaf of Figment, but he'd still enjoyed it.
____________________________________
AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN I PEED ALL OVER MY OWN FEET
gjglaghghhdgh
AND THEN I SLIT MY THROAT
AND THEN I SLIT MY NOSE
AND THEN I SAID HELP ME SOMEONE, THIS POST IS A CRY FOR HELP
AND THEN I SAID NO MORE
__________________
AND THEN AND THEN THEN AND THEN THEN THEN THEN THERE IS NO THEN ONLY NOW AHTERE IS NO NWO IT'S A FLEETING THING IT's NOT EVEN FEELING ITs' A MICROCOSM OF NOSES FHAGHAHG WHEY CAN'TI BE BE SERIOUS AND CREAT THINGS WITH REAL WORDS IN THEM AND SENTENCE STRUCTURE AND STUFF AN HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
MY brain
"...what?"
"You heard me."
"Why...how...you can't...are you going to make robots?"
"I'm just asking a question. Would it be rape?"
"Well...would the robots be sentient?"
"I don't know. I supposed that's up to the Turing Test."
"But in theory would they be sentient?"
"I don't know! I guess it depends on how good I am at robot building."
"Would you ask them for their consent first, assuming their sentient."
"Well, they'd be sexbots. I'd programme them to want to have sex with me. So they'd always say yes."
"Then I guess it's not rape."
"What, so if I brainwash someone into wanting to have sex with me, that wouldn't be rape either?"
"No! I mean, yes, of course that would be rape! Fuck's sake! But it's not the same thing."
"Isn't it? The robots would have no choice in the matter. They'd want nothing but sex with me."
"Well if they have no free will then they can't be sentient, can they?"
"I don't know. Is someone who's been hypnotised sentient?"
"Uhh...yes?"
"Anyway, my robots are of very poor quality so this is unlikely to ever happen."
"What about the holodeck in Star Trek?"
"I WANT ONE."
__________________________
"I just saw Donkey Kong in my bathroom door."
"...what?"
"In the pattern of the bathroom door. Donkey Kong, staring at me."
"You hadn't noticed that before?"
"It wasn't there before."
"What? That door's been the same since you moved here."
"Exactly. I stare at that door every day when I'm taking a shit. No Donkey Kong before. But now? There's his face."
"What does this mean?"
"That Donkey Kong has chosen to appear to me in my bathroom door, of course."
"But...Donkey Kong's a fictional character."
"Is He?"
"Why did you say He like that? Like Donkey Kong is God?"
"Isn't He?"
"Stop that!"
"He's scared of ice, you know."
"What?"
"It never comes up in the games. But he is."
"I'm sure there were ice levels in some of the games..."
"He acted like he wasn't scared, but on the inside he was. I could tell. I could feel it through my SNES."
"You've...had a strange relationship with Donkey Kong for a long time, haven't you?"
"He came to my parents' day at school once. Threw a barrel at a teacher who said I was a troublemaker."
"Did he, now..."
"The police tried to say it was me. But how could I throw a big barrel like that? I was just a small child at the time. That teacher died, you know."
"This has taken a turn."
"Not from the barrel attack. Seventeen years later. Cancer."
"Oh."
"I think Donkey Kong gave him cancer."
"And we're back again..."
"You better not be making fun of me. Donkey Kong doesn't take kindly to that, Diddy."
"My name isn't Diddy. I'm a figment of your imagination you talk to sometimes."
"Yes, yes you are. Unlike Donkey Kong. He's real. AND HE'S COMING TO GET YOU!"
___________________
Charles Horse laughed at this conversation he'd just played in his head. He wished he'd had it with a real person insteaf of Figment, but he'd still enjoyed it.
____________________________________
AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN I PEED ALL OVER MY OWN FEET
gjglaghghhdgh
AND THEN I SLIT MY THROAT
AND THEN I SLIT MY NOSE
AND THEN I SAID HELP ME SOMEONE, THIS POST IS A CRY FOR HELP
AND THEN I SAID NO MORE
__________________
AND THEN AND THEN THEN AND THEN THEN THEN THEN THERE IS NO THEN ONLY NOW AHTERE IS NO NWO IT'S A FLEETING THING IT's NOT EVEN FEELING ITs' A MICROCOSM OF NOSES FHAGHAHG WHEY CAN'TI BE BE SERIOUS AND CREAT THINGS WITH REAL WORDS IN THEM AND SENTENCE STRUCTURE AND STUFF AN HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
MY brain
