CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Douglas didn't understand his sexuality. He remembered when he'd been a teenager and he'd just wanked over everything. Mainly girls, but boys too. Sometimes just nothing. Now? He couldn't find anything sexy. Or if he did, he couldn't get aroused. He didn't know why.
It wasn't like he could talk to anyone. What would he say? "I think I like girls but I don't like nudity and I don't get it really and sometimes I still think I like men but I can't wank over them and it's not homophobia because I've really tried, believe me." There was just...stuff in his head. Blocks. Floating around. Stopping him from feeling. What was wrong with him?
Of course there were other problems. Like when he'd become suddenly aware of his own body and panic. Feel himself breathing, his heart beating. Know that he was just mortal meat. Know that everything he is was just contained in a fleshy small brain trapped inside a thin skull. The panic had been getting worse lately. He had to keep beatiing on his chest to make it go away. It had been taking logner and longer...
Don't think about that. Think about sex. That's why he'd gone to the beach. There were a lot of people there. He was bound to see something he found arousing.
He remembered sometimes feeling a sudden surge of sexual attraction from a nice muscular male stomach or abs or crotch or whatever. Somewhere around that area. He'd feel it then type it into Google and then the pics would do nothing for him and he woulnd't be able to wank. Surely he'd see something like that on the beach? No, not really. The muscles weren't right. Too big, too small, too something. It was all wrong.
What about girls? Breasts were supposed to be good, weren't they? He'd used to think so. From some angles. They never seemed to be from the right angle anymore. They were too floppy. Or something.
What had he even been planning to do? Starting wanking on the beach? He sighed. He tried not think about how small he was, how weak...what was going on there?
Ripples in the water. People were running into the beach. What was that? He saw something, briefly, and didn't understand what he was looking at. It was gone so soon...then there was a man. A naked man, walking in from the water. He briefly liked looking at the man's penis, but that passed. The man was just walking in, ignoring everyone. And Douglas just stood there. He felt like he should have ran, like everyone else had, but he'd always found it hard to do what everyone else had.
"I'm back," said the naked man. Douglas stared into his face. There was something not right about him. Like his face wasn't really a human face, but just the idea of a huamn face. A mask he was wearing. It made him feel sick.
"I...I..." he didn't know what he was going to say. And the naked man was looking at him now.
"You. What year is it?" he asked. "How long have I swam the seas of the universe?"
"It's 2015," said Douglas, dumbly.
"2015...it was 2015 before once. I thought of cheese wheels. I threw myself down a hole. But this is a different 2015, isn't it? When did the years begin to be measured? With the birth of Christ?"
"Who?" asked Douglas. "No, it's 2015 years sicne the end of the ink plague. When society rose again after 90% of the world had died."
"Since the day the SquidGod was imprisoned," said the naked man. Douglas would have laughed, but the man sounded serious.
"Some people believe in the SquidGod, yes," said Douglas. "Just a cult, really."
"They forget me," said the man. "I will make them remember." And Douglas felt himself shiver.
"You're...you're the SquidGod," he said, seeing a kind of blackness pass over his eyes. "In the sea that was...that was your true face." He could feel the SquidGod in his mind now. He'd never felt smaller.
"I know you worry a lot, Douglas," said the SquidGod. "I'm here to tell you not to worry. It doesn't matter what you are. Asexual, perhaps, but it is nothing in the scheme of the universe. All shall turn to dust."
"Help me," said Douglas, crying, as the Squidgod started to walk away. Douglas panicked as he felt the enormity of the SquidGod leave him. He did not want to go back to being the small thing that he was. "You can't just touch my mind and go! HELP ME!"
"Very well," said the Squidgod and before Douglas knew it he was turned to dust. It was funny. He could almost see it happen, like he'd left his own body. And then there was nothing.
The Squidgod gave the pile of dust that had once been Douglas no further thought. He'd done the poor man a kindness. He was not meant was this world and certainly would never have survived in the SquidGod's new world. He sent out ink feelers. He had a Time Demon to find.
It wasn't like he could talk to anyone. What would he say? "I think I like girls but I don't like nudity and I don't get it really and sometimes I still think I like men but I can't wank over them and it's not homophobia because I've really tried, believe me." There was just...stuff in his head. Blocks. Floating around. Stopping him from feeling. What was wrong with him?
Of course there were other problems. Like when he'd become suddenly aware of his own body and panic. Feel himself breathing, his heart beating. Know that he was just mortal meat. Know that everything he is was just contained in a fleshy small brain trapped inside a thin skull. The panic had been getting worse lately. He had to keep beatiing on his chest to make it go away. It had been taking logner and longer...
Don't think about that. Think about sex. That's why he'd gone to the beach. There were a lot of people there. He was bound to see something he found arousing.
He remembered sometimes feeling a sudden surge of sexual attraction from a nice muscular male stomach or abs or crotch or whatever. Somewhere around that area. He'd feel it then type it into Google and then the pics would do nothing for him and he woulnd't be able to wank. Surely he'd see something like that on the beach? No, not really. The muscles weren't right. Too big, too small, too something. It was all wrong.
What about girls? Breasts were supposed to be good, weren't they? He'd used to think so. From some angles. They never seemed to be from the right angle anymore. They were too floppy. Or something.
What had he even been planning to do? Starting wanking on the beach? He sighed. He tried not think about how small he was, how weak...what was going on there?
Ripples in the water. People were running into the beach. What was that? He saw something, briefly, and didn't understand what he was looking at. It was gone so soon...then there was a man. A naked man, walking in from the water. He briefly liked looking at the man's penis, but that passed. The man was just walking in, ignoring everyone. And Douglas just stood there. He felt like he should have ran, like everyone else had, but he'd always found it hard to do what everyone else had.
"I'm back," said the naked man. Douglas stared into his face. There was something not right about him. Like his face wasn't really a human face, but just the idea of a huamn face. A mask he was wearing. It made him feel sick.
"I...I..." he didn't know what he was going to say. And the naked man was looking at him now.
"You. What year is it?" he asked. "How long have I swam the seas of the universe?"
"It's 2015," said Douglas, dumbly.
"2015...it was 2015 before once. I thought of cheese wheels. I threw myself down a hole. But this is a different 2015, isn't it? When did the years begin to be measured? With the birth of Christ?"
"Who?" asked Douglas. "No, it's 2015 years sicne the end of the ink plague. When society rose again after 90% of the world had died."
"Since the day the SquidGod was imprisoned," said the naked man. Douglas would have laughed, but the man sounded serious.
"Some people believe in the SquidGod, yes," said Douglas. "Just a cult, really."
"They forget me," said the man. "I will make them remember." And Douglas felt himself shiver.
"You're...you're the SquidGod," he said, seeing a kind of blackness pass over his eyes. "In the sea that was...that was your true face." He could feel the SquidGod in his mind now. He'd never felt smaller.
"I know you worry a lot, Douglas," said the SquidGod. "I'm here to tell you not to worry. It doesn't matter what you are. Asexual, perhaps, but it is nothing in the scheme of the universe. All shall turn to dust."
"Help me," said Douglas, crying, as the Squidgod started to walk away. Douglas panicked as he felt the enormity of the SquidGod leave him. He did not want to go back to being the small thing that he was. "You can't just touch my mind and go! HELP ME!"
"Very well," said the Squidgod and before Douglas knew it he was turned to dust. It was funny. He could almost see it happen, like he'd left his own body. And then there was nothing.
The Squidgod gave the pile of dust that had once been Douglas no further thought. He'd done the poor man a kindness. He was not meant was this world and certainly would never have survived in the SquidGod's new world. He sent out ink feelers. He had a Time Demon to find.