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thing of the day (thing+592)

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
NOt a squidinator THING!

HAHAhahaHA

SORRY

You thought you were gettings Squdinator

you get this instead

whoops!

that's life
1


you think one thing

BAM!

a horse!

that's life

you're walking down the stret

you thinkyou see an old friend from school

BAM!

it's Johnny Depp!

that's life!

tha'ts what all the peo[le

sya

lol
l

life

who decided it should be clalled life

rather than BRIEF EXISTENCE

why aren't we fucking telling children "YOU ONLY EXIST FOR A FUCKING BRIEF TIME AND THIS IS THE BEST PART OF THAT TIME SO HAVE ALL THE FUCKING FUN YOU CAN BECAUSE IT GETS SHIT REAL SOON"

fucking children

they do't know how good they have it

if I was a child again

I'f cuking

ummm

fucking

sit in the garden playing with my Transforemrs by myself

that's life1

yeah

that's lfie
1

this is life

rpetatedly writthe

repeatedly writing the same thing of the day every day for 593 days

that's life!

expeitn diffffffffffffferent resutls

no

excepting the same results

I have given my life to art

my life is the art

I show you all what life is by wasting it with this shit

that's not really true at all of course

I'm not choosing anything

if I could do other things

dont' you think I'd do them?

anything but this

but yeah

I want to leave something behind

on this mesage board that'll probably get closed down soon beasue everyone's leaving in droves beasue they don't give a fuck anymore

leaving something behind!

tha'ts life!"


yes

i need to creat the perfect metaphor for life

________________

Chad the robot exploded

________________


no that's not it

what kindof name is Chadanyway

Lol stupid ameRcains

with their guns

and their hamburgers

and their JEsus

fucking AMericans

I'd kill them all if I had a giant mechanical spider

but I do't

I have two

I watch them fight
fg
ad
b
gsd

_

dx


____________

PLAY

______________


(A man walks on stage.)

Man: I'm sorry the play has been cancelled. I will now give you all a full refund.

(He drops his trousers and begins to masturbate. Another man runs on stage and punches him.)

Second Man: Sorry, sorry, he's a random nutter who keeps showing up here at the theater. But the play really has been cancelled. I'll give you all a refund.

(He walks into the audience and gives a full refund to everyone there.)

Second Man: Really, you can all go now. Sorry for wasting your time.

(They try to leave but the door is locked.)

Second Man: What? But...

(First man jumps back up and stabs second man with an obviously fake knife. Second man "dies" in an unconvincing manner.)

Man: THIS was the play!

(He drops his trousers and begins masturbating again. Second man goes back out into the audience and collects all the money he just refunded.)

Second Man: Actually...

Man: This was all a con!

Second man: NEITHER OF US is in the play! And I just took back SLIGHTLY MORE money than I just gave you all! I think. I didn't really count.

Man: Wait, this was a poor play.

Second man: You get the fun part! Wanking! Why do I never get to wank!

Man: Because...you're really A WOMAN.

(Second man rips "his" clothes off to reveal that he is a woman.)

Woman: But women can masturbate too!

(Man pulls out a real gun and shoots woman dead for real.)

Man: Not in front of me they can't!

(Man turns the gun on himself and dies too. Audience are left alone in the locked room with two dead bodies for half an hour. Finally the police arrive.)

Police: Don't worry...this was all...REAL! NOT part of the play! They're really dead! ANd you sick fucks let it happen!

(Policeman pulls out a gun and begins "murdering" the audience but it's not a real gun so the audience does't know how to react.)

Police: Wait, we didn't think this part through.

(Man and Woman jump up.)

Man: THE POWER OF CHRIST restored us!

(All three dance to Rikishi's entrance music for ten minutes.)

FIN

_________________________________________


and if you just read that

you just read....

MY METAPHOR FOR LIFE!!!!

that's life!!!!

(no it meant nothing)
 
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