CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
This Thing will be made up of the Family Guy episode that came to me in a dream. Please note that I am not a regular viewer of Family Guy anymore and see the the director's commentary for more details.
(Stewie and Brian are standing outside an ice cream shop. They can't stop looking at it.)
Brian: The old ice cream shop. Really makes you think.
Stewie: First of all, old? It's four years old, Brian. I'm a baby and even I don't think that's old. Secondly, what, exactly, does it make you think about, hmm?
Brian: ...ice cream, mostly.
Stewie: That's funny, I thought you were going to say it makes you think about what it would be like to own that place.
Brian: No, I've never thought that in my life.
Stewie: Imagine what it would be like...to own that place...
Brian: Oh, it's a cutaway gag.
(Cut to Brian inside the ice cream shop, looking concerned. Stewie is in a long white coat for some reason and has a long grey beard and a crazed look in his eyes. He's jumping from ice cream tub to ice cream tub, muttering in a paranoid way.)
Stewie: Too much vanilla! Not enough chocolate! Why isn't this strawberry pinker? WHY ISN'T IT PINKER? DYE IT PINKER.
Brian: You know, you went mad with power a lot faster than I thought you.
Stewie: I have responsibilities, Brian. To ice cream! Where's Rupert with our delivery?
(An ice cream truck comes crashing through the wall, destroying half the shop. Rupert the stuffed bear comes staggering out.)
Rupert: Oopsie.
Stewie: Rupert, you harlot! You've destroyed good stock! I shold lash you again for this!
Rupert: Hey, give me a break, man!
(Brian tastes the ice cream in the truck.)
Brian: This tastes weird.
Rupert: Probably because it's poisoned?
Brian: WHAT!?
Rupert: You did tell me to buy poisoned ice cream, right man?
Stewie: No! I told you to buy UNpoisoned ice cream!
Rupert: Man, what a mistake to make! Woah, I don't feel so good...
(Suddenly Rupert is violently ripped apart from the inside. FOUR MICE are standing in his place. They are wearing French resistence type clothing like berrets and stuff.)
Stewie: Mousey-ma-team!
(The Mousey-Ma-Team fanfare plays.)
Mouse: Oui! It is us, Mousey-ma-team, the world famous mouse super team!
Brian: But why did you come bursting out of Rupert?
Girl Mouse: That is odd. The last thing we remember is...the government doing experiments to TURN MICE EVIL!?
(Suddenly all four members of Mousey-ma-team start convulsing. All four suddenly CHANGE into EVIL MICE in PURPLE OUTFITS. An evil version of the mousey-ma-team fanfare plays.)
Mouse: Haha! We are here to END your old ice cream shop!
Stewie: Oh no, what are you going to do!
Girl Mouse: Poison your ice cream delivery!
Brian: Rupert already did that.
Girl Mouse: Oh. Well, we could destroy half your shop!
Stewie: Rupert did that you too, you nonsensical street-walker!
Mouse: CURSES!
Brian: That's lucky, becaue it's time for you to WAKE UP, Stewie!
Stewie: What the deuce!
(Stewie wakes up in BED. Brian is there, concerned.)
Brian: You were asleep for hours, are you okay?
Stewie: I had the strangest dream that I owned the old ice cream shop. And you were there...and them!
(Dramatic cut to show the evil version of mousey-ma-team standing on the windsill as the evil version of the mousey-ma-team fanfare plays.)
Mouse: Oui! Prepare to eat lead!
Stewie: ...why?
Mouse: Because we're going to shoot you!
Stewie: In our mouths?
Mouse: Some of the bullets will perhaps go into your mouths, yes.
Brian: Quick, WAKE UP again!
(Stewie WAKES UP AGAIN as it was actually a dream inside a dream. Brian is shaking him outside the ice cream shop.)
Brian: Stewie, are you okay? You kind of went into a trance thinking about what it would be like to own the old ice cream shop.
Stewie: So it was all a dream? Then...mousey-ma-team isn't real?
Brian: What the Hell is mouse-ma-team?
Stewie: Nothing, Brian. Nothing at all. They will never drop into my life again, for dreams rarely encroach upon reality. I am doomed to live an existence free of mouse-ma-team and the joyful chaos they bring. Will never laugh with them again, or cry. Can this truly be called any kind of life at all?
Brian: ...want to go home and throw doughnuts at Meg?
Stewie: Okay!
(They walk away. We slowly go to a close up of the window of the ice cream shop. The mouse-ma-team fanfare starts to play as something jumps up, making you believe for a second that mouse-ma-team is real. But it stops abruptly when we see that it is just a cat. But then the cat throws up four perfect little mouse skeletons. A sad version of the mousey-ma-team fanfare plays as we finish on a shot of the skeletons.)
Voice(whispering): Mousey-ma-team.
THE END
Director's commentary: The dream began with Stewie and Brian already in the ice cream shop and ended with evil mousey-ma-team shooting at Stewie in bed, so I had to add the framing device to make sense of it all. Also in the dream it was just a general shop rather than an ice cream shop but the truck was delevering ice cream so I thought it made more sense to turn it into an ice cream shop.
(Stewie and Brian are standing outside an ice cream shop. They can't stop looking at it.)
Brian: The old ice cream shop. Really makes you think.
Stewie: First of all, old? It's four years old, Brian. I'm a baby and even I don't think that's old. Secondly, what, exactly, does it make you think about, hmm?
Brian: ...ice cream, mostly.
Stewie: That's funny, I thought you were going to say it makes you think about what it would be like to own that place.
Brian: No, I've never thought that in my life.
Stewie: Imagine what it would be like...to own that place...
Brian: Oh, it's a cutaway gag.
(Cut to Brian inside the ice cream shop, looking concerned. Stewie is in a long white coat for some reason and has a long grey beard and a crazed look in his eyes. He's jumping from ice cream tub to ice cream tub, muttering in a paranoid way.)
Stewie: Too much vanilla! Not enough chocolate! Why isn't this strawberry pinker? WHY ISN'T IT PINKER? DYE IT PINKER.
Brian: You know, you went mad with power a lot faster than I thought you.
Stewie: I have responsibilities, Brian. To ice cream! Where's Rupert with our delivery?
(An ice cream truck comes crashing through the wall, destroying half the shop. Rupert the stuffed bear comes staggering out.)
Rupert: Oopsie.
Stewie: Rupert, you harlot! You've destroyed good stock! I shold lash you again for this!
Rupert: Hey, give me a break, man!
(Brian tastes the ice cream in the truck.)
Brian: This tastes weird.
Rupert: Probably because it's poisoned?
Brian: WHAT!?
Rupert: You did tell me to buy poisoned ice cream, right man?
Stewie: No! I told you to buy UNpoisoned ice cream!
Rupert: Man, what a mistake to make! Woah, I don't feel so good...
(Suddenly Rupert is violently ripped apart from the inside. FOUR MICE are standing in his place. They are wearing French resistence type clothing like berrets and stuff.)
Stewie: Mousey-ma-team!
(The Mousey-Ma-Team fanfare plays.)
Mouse: Oui! It is us, Mousey-ma-team, the world famous mouse super team!
Brian: But why did you come bursting out of Rupert?
Girl Mouse: That is odd. The last thing we remember is...the government doing experiments to TURN MICE EVIL!?
(Suddenly all four members of Mousey-ma-team start convulsing. All four suddenly CHANGE into EVIL MICE in PURPLE OUTFITS. An evil version of the mousey-ma-team fanfare plays.)
Mouse: Haha! We are here to END your old ice cream shop!
Stewie: Oh no, what are you going to do!
Girl Mouse: Poison your ice cream delivery!
Brian: Rupert already did that.
Girl Mouse: Oh. Well, we could destroy half your shop!
Stewie: Rupert did that you too, you nonsensical street-walker!
Mouse: CURSES!
Brian: That's lucky, becaue it's time for you to WAKE UP, Stewie!
Stewie: What the deuce!
(Stewie wakes up in BED. Brian is there, concerned.)
Brian: You were asleep for hours, are you okay?
Stewie: I had the strangest dream that I owned the old ice cream shop. And you were there...and them!
(Dramatic cut to show the evil version of mousey-ma-team standing on the windsill as the evil version of the mousey-ma-team fanfare plays.)
Mouse: Oui! Prepare to eat lead!
Stewie: ...why?
Mouse: Because we're going to shoot you!
Stewie: In our mouths?
Mouse: Some of the bullets will perhaps go into your mouths, yes.
Brian: Quick, WAKE UP again!
(Stewie WAKES UP AGAIN as it was actually a dream inside a dream. Brian is shaking him outside the ice cream shop.)
Brian: Stewie, are you okay? You kind of went into a trance thinking about what it would be like to own the old ice cream shop.
Stewie: So it was all a dream? Then...mousey-ma-team isn't real?
Brian: What the Hell is mouse-ma-team?
Stewie: Nothing, Brian. Nothing at all. They will never drop into my life again, for dreams rarely encroach upon reality. I am doomed to live an existence free of mouse-ma-team and the joyful chaos they bring. Will never laugh with them again, or cry. Can this truly be called any kind of life at all?
Brian: ...want to go home and throw doughnuts at Meg?
Stewie: Okay!
(They walk away. We slowly go to a close up of the window of the ice cream shop. The mouse-ma-team fanfare starts to play as something jumps up, making you believe for a second that mouse-ma-team is real. But it stops abruptly when we see that it is just a cat. But then the cat throws up four perfect little mouse skeletons. A sad version of the mousey-ma-team fanfare plays as we finish on a shot of the skeletons.)
Voice(whispering): Mousey-ma-team.
THE END
Director's commentary: The dream began with Stewie and Brian already in the ice cream shop and ended with evil mousey-ma-team shooting at Stewie in bed, so I had to add the framing device to make sense of it all. Also in the dream it was just a general shop rather than an ice cream shop but the truck was delevering ice cream so I thought it made more sense to turn it into an ice cream shop.