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thing of the day (thing+663)

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
"BEYONCE?" said Madonna.

"You shut your mouth, old lady!" said Beyonce. "You go into that temple and bring about the fires which will destroy the world, okay?"

"No!" said Madonna. "Robot, why? WHY?"

"I'm sorry, Madonna," said the robot. "I really do care about you. It wasn't all lies. But...the world must burn. And you are the vessel who will bring about the burning. Please step inside the temple. Do not make me make Beyonce hurt you."

"You be tripping, robot!" said Beyonce. "She ain't going to do shit by choice. We have to force her...WITH VIOLENCE." And Beyonce pulled out an axe.

"Sword beat axes, bitch!" said Madonna. She hoped it was true. They circled each other. Madonna didn't want to get too close. Beyonce looked like she was going to slice her apart. And then, before they could begin, Shakira jumped down out of nowhere and landed between them.

"Hello, ladies," she said.

"Which side are you on?" asked Madonna, nervous.

"I'm on the side...that wants the world to burn," said Shakira.

"No!" said Madonna, who had always respected Shakira. "Tell me you lie!"

"Sorry," said Shakira. "Hips don't lie." She pulled out her nunchuks.

"Oh shut up," said Taylor Swift, pulling herself to her feet. "Madonna doesn't stand alone."

"Taylor!" said Madonna. "I'm so sorry I doubted you. I never should have trust this robot, no matter how hot his metal cock is."

"That's okay," said Taylor. "Let's just take these two out together and stop the world from burning." But then there was a huge explosion between the two opposing sides. Madonna and Taylor fell back.

"Watch where you fire that thing, you could have killed us!" complained Beyonce.

"Sorry," said a voice. Another woman stepped through the smoke of the explosion. she was holding a rocket launcher. She was Lady Gaga. "Sometimes I just love to watch things explode."

"No!" said Taylor. "Even the two of us together can't hope to defeat Beyonce, Shakira AND Lady Gaga with a rocket launcher. Maybe if we had Rihanna...but she's fighting Godzilla in Tokyo."

"We have to try..." said Madonna, pulling herself to her feet again and helping Taylor up.

"No, you have to DIE!" said Lady Gaga, aiming her rocket launcher at them.

"Wait, we need Madonna alive!" said the robot. But Gaga didn't seem to care.

Suddenly there was a noise from above. Everyone looked up. There was a helicopter flying over Madonna and Taylor, a rope ladder hanging from it. Madonna and Taylor looked at each other and nodded. They both jumped onto the ladder and climbed up it. Beyonce and Shakira ran towards them, but the helicopter started to fly away.

"Who," said Taylor. "Who is flying?"

"Hooo hoo!" said Michael Jackson. "Ch'mon!"
 
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