CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"Michael Jackson? But you're dead!" said Taylor, as Madonna hoped that Lady Gaga didn't decide to shoot their helicopter out of the sky with her rocket launcher.
"Do I look dead?" asked Jackson. Taylor looked at his inhumanely pale skin, his impossible facial features, his general look of being a ghost.
"Well..." she started to say, but Madonna jumped in.
"Michael never died," she said. "He faked his death to escape the limelight. Too many people wanted a piece of him and were making false accusations against him. So he and his doctor faked an overdose. Only me, David Gest, Tito Jackson and Elizabeth Taylor knew the truth. And I haven't even spoken to him for years before this. He went off the grid, became a crazy conspiracy nut..."
"Not so crazy when everything I believe turned out to be true, hooo hooo!" said Michael.
"What did you believe?" asked Taylor, fascinated.
"My friends Uri Gellar and David Icket told me about the lizard people," said Michael. "I'd seen some evidence of it in my travels around the world. So I started looking into it. And what did I find? Not lizards...but robots. Robot people, like the one who seduced my friend Madonna. I heard rumblings that they were trying to seduce all the pop stars. I guess they got Shakira, Beyonce and Lady Gaga. Ch'mon!"
"A robot tried to seduce me, but I'm a hardcore lesbian so it didn't work," said Taylor. "That's why I decided I had to stop the robots, whatever it was they were up to. I used my Swift Sense to detect the invisible mountain and travelled here. When I saw you with the robot, Madonna, I thought you'd been turned."
"No," said Madonna, sadly. "But he did fool me."
"But what about this mountain?" said Taylor. "My Swift Sense could detect it, but I had no idea what it was."
"It...it is ancient," said Michael Jackson, with a shudder. "In my investigations I have found references to the mountain going back to the very earliest written records. It was kept out of the bible and other holy books, because it was believe to be unholy. It is believe that a dark God lives inside of it. There have been cults, sects, dedicated to worshipping this God. I found some of their writings. The things they speak of..."
"And now we know those old legends are true," said Madonna. "But how is a robot connected to a dark God? And why does he want the world to burn? And why does he need me?"
"Yes, it seems that you specifically are important," said Taylor, trying not to sound jealous. "That you are the one who is needed to cause the fires."
"So you're saying I should kill myself to save the world?" asked Madonna.
"No!" said Taylor. "That's nuts!"
"But it makes logical sense..." said Michael, sounding serious. "If we don't want the world to burn...Madonna must die. A sacrifice is often required, for the greater good." Then he aimed his helicopter at another, smaller, mountain.
"What are you doing!" said Madonna. "You'll kill youserlf too!"
"And me, Taylor Swift!" said Taylor Swift.
"The world believes me to be dead anyway," said Michael. "Perhaps it is my fate. Ch'mon!"
"No!" said Madonna, fighting him for the helicopter controls. "There has to be another way!"
Suddenly the door to the helicopter was ripped open. The robot was there, reaching over from a plane piloted by Lady Gaga.
"Come with me if you want to life," he said to Madonna. She was tempted, she really was. But Taylor kicked the robot in the face before she could decide what to do.
"How do you know he won't just kill the world a different way if I die?" asked Madonna. "He's a dangerous robot! He could kill the world one person at a time. We're the only ones who can stop him!"
"Perhaps..." said Michael. He finally pulled the helicopter up and it flew over the mountain. "Sorry, my brain was damaged when I faked my death. Sometimes I do crazy stuff. I don't molest children though. Never that!"
"Sure..." said Taylor and Madonna.
"BILLIE JEAN IS NOT MY LOVER!" said Michael. "Because she's not a child! Hoo hoo!"
"Do I look dead?" asked Jackson. Taylor looked at his inhumanely pale skin, his impossible facial features, his general look of being a ghost.
"Well..." she started to say, but Madonna jumped in.
"Michael never died," she said. "He faked his death to escape the limelight. Too many people wanted a piece of him and were making false accusations against him. So he and his doctor faked an overdose. Only me, David Gest, Tito Jackson and Elizabeth Taylor knew the truth. And I haven't even spoken to him for years before this. He went off the grid, became a crazy conspiracy nut..."
"Not so crazy when everything I believe turned out to be true, hooo hooo!" said Michael.
"What did you believe?" asked Taylor, fascinated.
"My friends Uri Gellar and David Icket told me about the lizard people," said Michael. "I'd seen some evidence of it in my travels around the world. So I started looking into it. And what did I find? Not lizards...but robots. Robot people, like the one who seduced my friend Madonna. I heard rumblings that they were trying to seduce all the pop stars. I guess they got Shakira, Beyonce and Lady Gaga. Ch'mon!"
"A robot tried to seduce me, but I'm a hardcore lesbian so it didn't work," said Taylor. "That's why I decided I had to stop the robots, whatever it was they were up to. I used my Swift Sense to detect the invisible mountain and travelled here. When I saw you with the robot, Madonna, I thought you'd been turned."
"No," said Madonna, sadly. "But he did fool me."
"But what about this mountain?" said Taylor. "My Swift Sense could detect it, but I had no idea what it was."
"It...it is ancient," said Michael Jackson, with a shudder. "In my investigations I have found references to the mountain going back to the very earliest written records. It was kept out of the bible and other holy books, because it was believe to be unholy. It is believe that a dark God lives inside of it. There have been cults, sects, dedicated to worshipping this God. I found some of their writings. The things they speak of..."
"And now we know those old legends are true," said Madonna. "But how is a robot connected to a dark God? And why does he want the world to burn? And why does he need me?"
"Yes, it seems that you specifically are important," said Taylor, trying not to sound jealous. "That you are the one who is needed to cause the fires."
"So you're saying I should kill myself to save the world?" asked Madonna.
"No!" said Taylor. "That's nuts!"
"But it makes logical sense..." said Michael, sounding serious. "If we don't want the world to burn...Madonna must die. A sacrifice is often required, for the greater good." Then he aimed his helicopter at another, smaller, mountain.
"What are you doing!" said Madonna. "You'll kill youserlf too!"
"And me, Taylor Swift!" said Taylor Swift.
"The world believes me to be dead anyway," said Michael. "Perhaps it is my fate. Ch'mon!"
"No!" said Madonna, fighting him for the helicopter controls. "There has to be another way!"
Suddenly the door to the helicopter was ripped open. The robot was there, reaching over from a plane piloted by Lady Gaga.
"Come with me if you want to life," he said to Madonna. She was tempted, she really was. But Taylor kicked the robot in the face before she could decide what to do.
"How do you know he won't just kill the world a different way if I die?" asked Madonna. "He's a dangerous robot! He could kill the world one person at a time. We're the only ones who can stop him!"
"Perhaps..." said Michael. He finally pulled the helicopter up and it flew over the mountain. "Sorry, my brain was damaged when I faked my death. Sometimes I do crazy stuff. I don't molest children though. Never that!"
"Sure..." said Taylor and Madonna.
"BILLIE JEAN IS NOT MY LOVER!" said Michael. "Because she's not a child! Hoo hoo!"