CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"What do you mean from the future, ho," asked Rihanna.
"It just came to me," said Taylor. "The robot keeps talking about what's going to happen. Logically, I deduced that if he doesn't have the power to see the future he must be FROM the future."
"I am," said the robot, still on the viewscreen. "Finally you begin to see my point of view.
"Let's not go nuts," said Taylor. "Now tell me what you mean by Rihanna's robot brood."
"Yeah, bitch, tell me," said Rihanna."
"Rihanna hasn't been completely honest with you, Taylor. She already has thousands of bodies built, supposedly just in case she needs them," said the robot.
"Well, you can never have too many spare bodies!" said Rihanna.
"But eventually a sentient computer programme takes over those bodies, and others created by humanity in imitation of Rihanna's work, and uses them to conquer the world!" said the robot.
"That was always a risk," admitted Rihanna.
"But why come here now?" asked Taylor.
"To wipe out humanity before it can build any more robots and to wipe out all the robot bodies. With fire," said the robot.
"But you're a fucking robot!" said Taylor. "Why destroy your own kind?"
"Because they destroy everything of humanity," said the robot. "Everything. Anything that isn't metal, they kill. They leave no trace of humanity."
"That's what you're trying to do, you hypocrite!" said Rihanna.
"No," said the robot. "I will wipe out MOST of humanity, but the great popstars will live on in my mountain. For you see, the time where I am from, as I said there is nothing left of the human race...except one thing. I found it myself. A digital recording of all of Earth's greastest female popstars. You are both featured there, and Madonna of course, even Katy Perry despite her lack of talent. So don't you see? Humanity HAS to die so that it can't create more robots that will go on to wipe out humanity. I have to save the only part of humanity that has value, the popstars, by burning the rest of it away. THAT IS MY DESIGN."
"I get it now," said Taylor. "I totally get it. You're completely insane."
"What? No!" said the robot.
"Yes!" said Taylor. "You have a time machine. You say you want to save the human race. So why not go back and kill King Kong before he can create robots? Why come here, when the robots already exist, and wipe out humanity with help from an insane Squid God? There's no logical reason for it!"
"I...umm...the time machine was set to this date. I thought it was destiny."
"Well set it to a new date!" said Taylor. Then, without warning, she put the control helmet on and quickly took the ship to its fasted speed. It took a moment before the ship the robot now controlled started to follow. Taylor abruptly pulled the ship up and hid it behind the moon.
"What are we going to do?" asked Rihanna, sounding broken. "I'm...I'm destined to wipe out humanity?"
"Destiny isn't written yet," said Taylor. "I never thought I'd be here, commanding a spaceship. I never thought Madonna would be consumed by evil. I never thought any of this would happen. It's like I was saying in the zoo, life doesn't stop. It takes you with it on and on until you die. But you know what? If I'm going to die, I want to be in charge when that happens. I'm not giving up again. I'm going to kick some ass."
"It just came to me," said Taylor. "The robot keeps talking about what's going to happen. Logically, I deduced that if he doesn't have the power to see the future he must be FROM the future."
"I am," said the robot, still on the viewscreen. "Finally you begin to see my point of view.
"Let's not go nuts," said Taylor. "Now tell me what you mean by Rihanna's robot brood."
"Yeah, bitch, tell me," said Rihanna."
"Rihanna hasn't been completely honest with you, Taylor. She already has thousands of bodies built, supposedly just in case she needs them," said the robot.
"Well, you can never have too many spare bodies!" said Rihanna.
"But eventually a sentient computer programme takes over those bodies, and others created by humanity in imitation of Rihanna's work, and uses them to conquer the world!" said the robot.
"That was always a risk," admitted Rihanna.
"But why come here now?" asked Taylor.
"To wipe out humanity before it can build any more robots and to wipe out all the robot bodies. With fire," said the robot.
"But you're a fucking robot!" said Taylor. "Why destroy your own kind?"
"Because they destroy everything of humanity," said the robot. "Everything. Anything that isn't metal, they kill. They leave no trace of humanity."
"That's what you're trying to do, you hypocrite!" said Rihanna.
"No," said the robot. "I will wipe out MOST of humanity, but the great popstars will live on in my mountain. For you see, the time where I am from, as I said there is nothing left of the human race...except one thing. I found it myself. A digital recording of all of Earth's greastest female popstars. You are both featured there, and Madonna of course, even Katy Perry despite her lack of talent. So don't you see? Humanity HAS to die so that it can't create more robots that will go on to wipe out humanity. I have to save the only part of humanity that has value, the popstars, by burning the rest of it away. THAT IS MY DESIGN."
"I get it now," said Taylor. "I totally get it. You're completely insane."
"What? No!" said the robot.
"Yes!" said Taylor. "You have a time machine. You say you want to save the human race. So why not go back and kill King Kong before he can create robots? Why come here, when the robots already exist, and wipe out humanity with help from an insane Squid God? There's no logical reason for it!"
"I...umm...the time machine was set to this date. I thought it was destiny."
"Well set it to a new date!" said Taylor. Then, without warning, she put the control helmet on and quickly took the ship to its fasted speed. It took a moment before the ship the robot now controlled started to follow. Taylor abruptly pulled the ship up and hid it behind the moon.
"What are we going to do?" asked Rihanna, sounding broken. "I'm...I'm destined to wipe out humanity?"
"Destiny isn't written yet," said Taylor. "I never thought I'd be here, commanding a spaceship. I never thought Madonna would be consumed by evil. I never thought any of this would happen. It's like I was saying in the zoo, life doesn't stop. It takes you with it on and on until you die. But you know what? If I'm going to die, I want to be in charge when that happens. I'm not giving up again. I'm going to kick some ass."