CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"Looking through the archives again, XMEEP?"
"Obviously, ZMOOP, as you just walked in on me in the archives. Your stating of the obvious reminds me of the speech patterns of a planet I was just studying."
"Let me guess, another humanoid culture. Why do they interest you so? They only last a short time before dying out, every time. Sentient gas clouds are much more impressive."
"I'm fascinated by the ways they wipe their culture out! This one was biological warfare..."
"Not unique."
"...by one humanoid."
"Just one?"
"He was a genius, created a plague that could wipe out the world...and he released it. Not by accident, not for any govoernment or religion...he simply wanted to end life on the planet."
"That is interesting, I suppose. We he insane?"
"Well he certainly had a mental instability, yes, but he made a conscious choice. He released a number of videos to their internet in the days before he killed them all. 'Everyone just wants to look smart. I've figured it out. They're all idiots, they all know they're idiots...so they get nasty. They they they...they try to look so fucking smart. You try to tell them when they're wrong but it just makes them believe in their own arrogance even more. There's no actual hope. Even if we achieve some kind of world peace there would still be people arguing against it somehow. They'd come up with something. They'd have to come up with something. They wouldn't want to accept that everyone can live together in peace because it would prove them wrong. Can't ever have that...I hate them.' That's about all that survived."
"Not very articulate. And you say he was a genius?"
"He was having a breakdown, he was obviously struggling with his words...from what we've salvaged of their internet he was right. They loved to hate, these humaoids."
"Ah, yes, the internet. Often it is the tipping point. It either leads to enlightenment...or a new kind of warfare."
"Yes, they thought too world wars before the internet, but they never could have known the war of words would be what ended them. Such horrible humanoids...even the good ones were capable of cruelty."
"Well, so are we."
"True, but we recognise it. They hated nothing more than seeing fault in themselves."
"What did you say this planet was known as in the native tongue? I think I've heard of it before."
"It was called...MEEPCHEESE89."
"Ah."
"They changed it from the origial name...which was...BUM PLANET."
"Ah! Thought you were going to say Earth for some reason."
"Oh no, Earth wasn't destroyed by a man made plague."
"No?"
"No. It was destroyed by the robots they created and programmed to kill those who didn't deserve to live."
"Oh yes! I used to tell my children that story. Stupid humanoid bastards."
"At least we're squidpeople."
"Now who's stating the obvious!"
And then they made love the end.
"Obviously, ZMOOP, as you just walked in on me in the archives. Your stating of the obvious reminds me of the speech patterns of a planet I was just studying."
"Let me guess, another humanoid culture. Why do they interest you so? They only last a short time before dying out, every time. Sentient gas clouds are much more impressive."
"I'm fascinated by the ways they wipe their culture out! This one was biological warfare..."
"Not unique."
"...by one humanoid."
"Just one?"
"He was a genius, created a plague that could wipe out the world...and he released it. Not by accident, not for any govoernment or religion...he simply wanted to end life on the planet."
"That is interesting, I suppose. We he insane?"
"Well he certainly had a mental instability, yes, but he made a conscious choice. He released a number of videos to their internet in the days before he killed them all. 'Everyone just wants to look smart. I've figured it out. They're all idiots, they all know they're idiots...so they get nasty. They they they...they try to look so fucking smart. You try to tell them when they're wrong but it just makes them believe in their own arrogance even more. There's no actual hope. Even if we achieve some kind of world peace there would still be people arguing against it somehow. They'd come up with something. They'd have to come up with something. They wouldn't want to accept that everyone can live together in peace because it would prove them wrong. Can't ever have that...I hate them.' That's about all that survived."
"Not very articulate. And you say he was a genius?"
"He was having a breakdown, he was obviously struggling with his words...from what we've salvaged of their internet he was right. They loved to hate, these humaoids."
"Ah, yes, the internet. Often it is the tipping point. It either leads to enlightenment...or a new kind of warfare."
"Yes, they thought too world wars before the internet, but they never could have known the war of words would be what ended them. Such horrible humanoids...even the good ones were capable of cruelty."
"Well, so are we."
"True, but we recognise it. They hated nothing more than seeing fault in themselves."
"What did you say this planet was known as in the native tongue? I think I've heard of it before."
"It was called...MEEPCHEESE89."
"Ah."
"They changed it from the origial name...which was...BUM PLANET."
"Ah! Thought you were going to say Earth for some reason."
"Oh no, Earth wasn't destroyed by a man made plague."
"No?"
"No. It was destroyed by the robots they created and programmed to kill those who didn't deserve to live."
"Oh yes! I used to tell my children that story. Stupid humanoid bastards."
"At least we're squidpeople."
"Now who's stating the obvious!"
And then they made love the end.