CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"You're not her," said the Professor, staring at his naked wife. She was the same age she'd been thirty six years ago when she had died, of course. He was an old man now. But it wasn't her. It wasn't...he wouldn't even say her name.
"I could be," said the Squid God, through her body. "And, in a way, I am her. I am partly made from her DNA."
"The blood..."
"Yes I had you pour her blood here for this purpose. So when I was born into a mortal body I could take the human remains of the man you murdered and twist them to look like your dead wife. Neat trick, huh?"
"You're sick" He turned away. He couldn't stand to look at her...at IT anymore. "You think this is going to win me over? Get me to help you? Why...why do you even need me anymore anyway?" It was a quick realisation.
"What do you mean?" the Squid God asked, innocently, in his wife's voice. "You can send messages back in time..."
"That's all you need me for!" said the Professor, turning to face it. "You need me to send that message back in time that started all this, so that there's no time paradox. If I refuse, reality will collapse in on itself!"
"And I'll be reborn, like I always am," said the Squid God, dismissing him effortlessly. "You are a useful ally, Professor. Talented, resourceful. You got me this body."
"So this is you now," said the Professor.
"Yes."
"Then what if I snap your neck right here and now."
"I'd like to see you try! This body might look human, and yes it can die, but it is much stronger than a normal human body. Besides, you're an old man and I'm a hot young woman. Even if I was fully human I could over power you I'm sure."
"What about Taylor Swift? You were holding her at bay, with your Squid body..."
"Yes, and I still am. I merely split my consciousness between two bodies. A simple trick. Now, come. I have decided in this iteration I will kill the robot here and not let his army rise."
"What happens if his army rises?"
"There are many ways it can play out. Sometimes I allow he and Taylor Swift to wipe each other out. Sometimes I take control of his army and wipe out Taylor's army then enslave reality, though the loses the robots suffer are always great. This time I have decided to skip the whole robot thing. They suck. Metal bastards. I'll just kill them."
"Then enslave humanity..."
"After I kill Taylor, yes. I'll use the weapons your robot has been working on..."
"He has?"
"That's what he does while you sleep. Now, back to your bedroom. I kind of want to give this new body a workout, if you know what I mean..."
"WHAT!?"
"Come on, big boy, don't tell me you haven't been thinking about it from the moment you saw my naked twenty nine year old human body. You want a ride on the Sexy Squid God Slut Wife body, don't ya, Prof? You're getting hard just listening to me..."
"I'm not! You sick creature!"
"She was having an affair with the man you killed, you know. That's why I arranged it."
"She wasn't! She would never!"
"I have all her memories throug her DNA..."
"DNA doesn't work like that!"
"I'm a God, it works however I want it to. She was scared you'd hit her. You never did, but you'd get so angry. Lost in your work...oh, she felt so lonely. A paedophile dog walker was her only comfort..."
"You're lying!"
"Remember the snow globe? Why did you shout at me so? It was only a snow globe..."
"RRRRRRR!" The Professor flew at it, his hands going straight to her neck. He wanted to strangle the life out of it, end this abomination. The Squid God easily fended off his attack and threw him to the ground.
"Pathetic. How about we do it right here in the dirt, then? Don't answer, we're doing it anyway..."
"Actually, neither of you will be doing anything ever again," came a voice. They both looked round, the Professor pulling himself to his feet.
The robot was standing in font of them holding a massive gun.
"I could be," said the Squid God, through her body. "And, in a way, I am her. I am partly made from her DNA."
"The blood..."
"Yes I had you pour her blood here for this purpose. So when I was born into a mortal body I could take the human remains of the man you murdered and twist them to look like your dead wife. Neat trick, huh?"
"You're sick" He turned away. He couldn't stand to look at her...at IT anymore. "You think this is going to win me over? Get me to help you? Why...why do you even need me anymore anyway?" It was a quick realisation.
"What do you mean?" the Squid God asked, innocently, in his wife's voice. "You can send messages back in time..."
"That's all you need me for!" said the Professor, turning to face it. "You need me to send that message back in time that started all this, so that there's no time paradox. If I refuse, reality will collapse in on itself!"
"And I'll be reborn, like I always am," said the Squid God, dismissing him effortlessly. "You are a useful ally, Professor. Talented, resourceful. You got me this body."
"So this is you now," said the Professor.
"Yes."
"Then what if I snap your neck right here and now."
"I'd like to see you try! This body might look human, and yes it can die, but it is much stronger than a normal human body. Besides, you're an old man and I'm a hot young woman. Even if I was fully human I could over power you I'm sure."
"What about Taylor Swift? You were holding her at bay, with your Squid body..."
"Yes, and I still am. I merely split my consciousness between two bodies. A simple trick. Now, come. I have decided in this iteration I will kill the robot here and not let his army rise."
"What happens if his army rises?"
"There are many ways it can play out. Sometimes I allow he and Taylor Swift to wipe each other out. Sometimes I take control of his army and wipe out Taylor's army then enslave reality, though the loses the robots suffer are always great. This time I have decided to skip the whole robot thing. They suck. Metal bastards. I'll just kill them."
"Then enslave humanity..."
"After I kill Taylor, yes. I'll use the weapons your robot has been working on..."
"He has?"
"That's what he does while you sleep. Now, back to your bedroom. I kind of want to give this new body a workout, if you know what I mean..."
"WHAT!?"
"Come on, big boy, don't tell me you haven't been thinking about it from the moment you saw my naked twenty nine year old human body. You want a ride on the Sexy Squid God Slut Wife body, don't ya, Prof? You're getting hard just listening to me..."
"I'm not! You sick creature!"
"She was having an affair with the man you killed, you know. That's why I arranged it."
"She wasn't! She would never!"
"I have all her memories throug her DNA..."
"DNA doesn't work like that!"
"I'm a God, it works however I want it to. She was scared you'd hit her. You never did, but you'd get so angry. Lost in your work...oh, she felt so lonely. A paedophile dog walker was her only comfort..."
"You're lying!"
"Remember the snow globe? Why did you shout at me so? It was only a snow globe..."
"RRRRRRR!" The Professor flew at it, his hands going straight to her neck. He wanted to strangle the life out of it, end this abomination. The Squid God easily fended off his attack and threw him to the ground.
"Pathetic. How about we do it right here in the dirt, then? Don't answer, we're doing it anyway..."
"Actually, neither of you will be doing anything ever again," came a voice. They both looked round, the Professor pulling himself to his feet.
The robot was standing in font of them holding a massive gun.