CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
well it's a start
of expressing myself
that's all we can do
express ourselves before we die
that's all we can leave behind
but
then one day
the whole fucking planet will be gone
so umm
can't really leave anything behind
ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
i reject words they aren't good enough to express msyelf i rejected learning because nothing truly reflected me i rejected art and music and all forms of epxression because none of it was right and i hid i hid inside myself trapped and i grew in there like a fungus grew into whatever this is unable to really show what it is if it is even anything but awareness maybe that's all maybe we're small so fucking small what's so impressive about being aware who cares no one has ever impressed me no one the just use words and art and music and drawings those are all just learnt things reducing things they aren't you they aren't what's in your brain it's all just copies and repetition it's nothing you're nothing you're just like me trapped in my skull growing in the dark except you think you're something more it doesn't matter we're all made of the same atoms i'm just as good as you i'm better because i know i have the ultimate awareness i'm the greatest person to ever live
yeah
BELIEV EIT
))Fgssssssssssssbggyhjgggg
no i'm worse of course i'm worse i don't even try never known how to becasue i thought it was all pointless that's my curse why did i think it was pointless all along because i was scared and small and everyone else knew what to do and i didn't so i hid and slept and watched tv and became this oh god it's too late i don't get to do life over it's almost the end and i haven't started no wonder i dream i'm late for the exam that's life i'm always always late
________________________________________________________________________________________
Charles Horse spend more time in dreams than awake now, which was good. He was getting to live his whole life over! He was back in his teenage years, twenty years younger, but with friends now. Girls talked to him. It was so easy to talk to girls. The trick was just to think of them like they were people. He wasn't sure if all the people in his dreams were people he'd actually gone to school with, but it didn't matter. He had a second chance. Until he woke up anyway. So he tried not to do that. In his latest dream they were all having a party on a bus, or something. He was just one of the normal teenagers. Being normal. He'd turn out okay. He wouldn't be alone! Then his teacher told him to sort out some magazines. Kind of a strange thing for a teach to tell Charles Horse to do, but he enjoyed it. They were old Nintendo magazines he'd read at that age, and some he'd never seen before. He was sorting them out in a shed and there was someone else there too. It was one of his friends from the message board, one who hadn't posted in a year. From his adult life. Charles had never saw a photo of this person but knew it was him. He was pleased to see that friend. Maybe he'd have all his friends together, in the dream worse. He was painting Star Wars figures for some reason, the friend. Charles shook his hand.
When he woke he forgot who he was for a while and felt slightly optimistic. He checked his message board to see if the friend had posted, expecting that he had. But he hadn't. None of them had, only the seventy year old perveted old man who kept making disgusting posts about a girl forty years younger than him. Charles Horse felt sad again. He did not want to live in this world.
He wondered how long it would take to get back to sleep.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
that might seem like i expressed myself
but it's all made up
words are made up
we need to link our minds to know
expect
our minds just perceive things through worsds really
made up words
so are our minds just made up
are worse tricking us into thinking there's something there
when really it's all empty?
_______________________________________________
DEAHT
well it's a start
of expressing myself
that's all we can do
express ourselves before we die
that's all we can leave behind
but
then one day
the whole fucking planet will be gone
so umm
can't really leave anything behind
ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
i reject words they aren't good enough to express msyelf i rejected learning because nothing truly reflected me i rejected art and music and all forms of epxression because none of it was right and i hid i hid inside myself trapped and i grew in there like a fungus grew into whatever this is unable to really show what it is if it is even anything but awareness maybe that's all maybe we're small so fucking small what's so impressive about being aware who cares no one has ever impressed me no one the just use words and art and music and drawings those are all just learnt things reducing things they aren't you they aren't what's in your brain it's all just copies and repetition it's nothing you're nothing you're just like me trapped in my skull growing in the dark except you think you're something more it doesn't matter we're all made of the same atoms i'm just as good as you i'm better because i know i have the ultimate awareness i'm the greatest person to ever live
yeah
BELIEV EIT
))Fgssssssssssssbggyhjgggg
no i'm worse of course i'm worse i don't even try never known how to becasue i thought it was all pointless that's my curse why did i think it was pointless all along because i was scared and small and everyone else knew what to do and i didn't so i hid and slept and watched tv and became this oh god it's too late i don't get to do life over it's almost the end and i haven't started no wonder i dream i'm late for the exam that's life i'm always always late
________________________________________________________________________________________
Charles Horse spend more time in dreams than awake now, which was good. He was getting to live his whole life over! He was back in his teenage years, twenty years younger, but with friends now. Girls talked to him. It was so easy to talk to girls. The trick was just to think of them like they were people. He wasn't sure if all the people in his dreams were people he'd actually gone to school with, but it didn't matter. He had a second chance. Until he woke up anyway. So he tried not to do that. In his latest dream they were all having a party on a bus, or something. He was just one of the normal teenagers. Being normal. He'd turn out okay. He wouldn't be alone! Then his teacher told him to sort out some magazines. Kind of a strange thing for a teach to tell Charles Horse to do, but he enjoyed it. They were old Nintendo magazines he'd read at that age, and some he'd never seen before. He was sorting them out in a shed and there was someone else there too. It was one of his friends from the message board, one who hadn't posted in a year. From his adult life. Charles had never saw a photo of this person but knew it was him. He was pleased to see that friend. Maybe he'd have all his friends together, in the dream worse. He was painting Star Wars figures for some reason, the friend. Charles shook his hand.
When he woke he forgot who he was for a while and felt slightly optimistic. He checked his message board to see if the friend had posted, expecting that he had. But he hadn't. None of them had, only the seventy year old perveted old man who kept making disgusting posts about a girl forty years younger than him. Charles Horse felt sad again. He did not want to live in this world.
He wondered how long it would take to get back to sleep.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
that might seem like i expressed myself
but it's all made up
words are made up
we need to link our minds to know
expect
our minds just perceive things through worsds really
made up words
so are our minds just made up
are worse tricking us into thinking there's something there
when really it's all empty?
_______________________________________________
DEAHT
