CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
MUPPET BABIES THEY'LL DIE EVENTUALLY
BOOPY DOOPY DOOP
MUPPET BABIES THEY'LL ROT THE SAME AS YOU
DEADLY DEADLY DEATH
WHEN YOU'RE PONDERING YOUR OWN MORTALITY AND YOU WISH YOU WEREN'T HERE
JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND IMAGINE NOTHING AND YOU'LL REALISE YOU'RE NOWHERE
I LIKE ADVENTURE, I LIKE ROMANCE, BUT IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER DUE TO THE INEVITABILITY OF DEATH, ANIMAL DANCE!
I'VE GOT MY COMPUTER, BUT THIS ISN'T A SIMULATION, THIS IS REAL LIFE, THIS IS ALL THAT THERE IS
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE, WE'RE MADE OUT OF FELT
IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT IN THERE?
NO NANNY. AND IT NEVER WILL BE.
(The Muppet Babies are sleeping. Kermit wakes up with a start. He is breathing heavily. He looks around, distressed. Piggy wakes up, as if she can sense something is wrong with him.)
Piggy: Kermie? What's wrong? You have a scary dream?
Kermit: Gee Piggy, that's the opposite of what the problem is.
Piggy: Explain, Snooshie.
Kermit: There was nothing, Piggy. I closed my eyes and there was nothing. I...just nothing. I wasn't even there. I was nowhere. No fun adventures, no outlandish situations. Nothing, Piggy.
Piggy: Aww, my little Kermie just needs a cuddle...
Kermit: NO. Don't reduce me like that, woman. I am more than your childlike perception of me. I am Kermit THE Frog. Or am I? What if it's all a lie? A character I play, like how we play make believe here every damn day? What if our whole personas are just make believe, Piggy? What if they can just disappear into nothing...like a dream.
Piggy: I...I don't know Kermit.
Kermit: What do you know about death, Piggy.
Piggy: I don't think about adult stuff like that, Kermie. I heard my parents talking about it once and it scared me.
Kermit: I can't stop thinking about it, Piggy, ever since I woke up. It's consuming me.
Fozzy: Waka waka!
(The others have woken.)
Skeeter: I can't wait to play sports!
Scooter: I can't wait to talk about Star Trek with my friends on the internet!
Skeeter: Mum and dad love me more than you.
Scooter: I know.
Kermit: Shut up. Just shut up. It doesn't matter. None of it fucking matters!
Rowlf: Wow, you're a gloomy Gus today, Kermit! I should play a sad song on the piano for you!
Gonzo: What happened, Kermit, did the Martians shoot you with a sadness ray?
Kermit: THERE ARE NO MARTIANS. You know it. You don't really believe in them. It's an act you put on, an identity you cling to. You're nothing without it, but it's just a lie you're telling yourself.
Gonzo: ...did the Martians shoot you with a philosophy ray?
Fozzy: Waka waka!
(Nanny walks in.)
Nanny: Did I hear some of you kids talking about the lie of life?
Kermit: Tell us, Nanny, tell it's all fake. Tell us we should all just kill ourselves now. HURT US.
Nanny: I was in love once, kids.
Piggy: How romantic! We he as handsome a my Prince Kermie?
Nanny: He was sexy as fuck, yeah. Fucked him all over this house. Fucked him right where you're sitting now, Piggy. That's what that stain is.
Gonzo: I thought that was Martian slime!
Nanny: He died, kids. Cancer. Slow, agonising death. I watched him die in my arms. So you want to know if there's a point to life? HUH?
Kermit: Ha! I knew it! We should smother each other once at a time. When it's just me left, Nanny should beat me to death. It's only right.
Nanny: You misunderstood, Kermit. OF COURSE THERE'S A POINT. The fact that life is transient is what gives it meanng, what makes it worth living. Reminds you to cherish every moment FOR THEY WILL END. I don't regret a minute I spent with my sex machine. I don't regret the many abortions I had because we prefered unprotected sex. I don't regret a goddamn thing. There's a point, Kermit. Fucking live your life.
Kermit: But my dreams, they were empty!
Nanny: It happens. Grow up, kid. Sometimes you don't dream, but sometimes you'll dream a beautiful fantasy that'll make it all worth living. Don't you want to experience that?
Kermit: I...I guess...
(Nanny nods and walks out.)
Piggy: I guess what Nannyw as trying to say...is that we should have an orgy right here in the playroom!
Gonzo: And the Martians can join in!
Fozzy: Waka waka!
Scooter: What's an orgy?
Skeeter: Urgh.
Kermit: Maybe...maybe there's a reason. Maybe there's something.
Gonzo: Now who's lying to himself?
Kermit: Shut up and kiss me.
___________________________________________
tha'ts right i's just muppet babies now
that's all you get
BOOPY DOOPY DOOP
MUPPET BABIES THEY'LL ROT THE SAME AS YOU
DEADLY DEADLY DEATH
WHEN YOU'RE PONDERING YOUR OWN MORTALITY AND YOU WISH YOU WEREN'T HERE
JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES AND IMAGINE NOTHING AND YOU'LL REALISE YOU'RE NOWHERE
I LIKE ADVENTURE, I LIKE ROMANCE, BUT IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER DUE TO THE INEVITABILITY OF DEATH, ANIMAL DANCE!
I'VE GOT MY COMPUTER, BUT THIS ISN'T A SIMULATION, THIS IS REAL LIFE, THIS IS ALL THAT THERE IS
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE, WE'RE MADE OUT OF FELT
IS EVERYTHING ALRIGHT IN THERE?
NO NANNY. AND IT NEVER WILL BE.
(The Muppet Babies are sleeping. Kermit wakes up with a start. He is breathing heavily. He looks around, distressed. Piggy wakes up, as if she can sense something is wrong with him.)
Piggy: Kermie? What's wrong? You have a scary dream?
Kermit: Gee Piggy, that's the opposite of what the problem is.
Piggy: Explain, Snooshie.
Kermit: There was nothing, Piggy. I closed my eyes and there was nothing. I...just nothing. I wasn't even there. I was nowhere. No fun adventures, no outlandish situations. Nothing, Piggy.
Piggy: Aww, my little Kermie just needs a cuddle...
Kermit: NO. Don't reduce me like that, woman. I am more than your childlike perception of me. I am Kermit THE Frog. Or am I? What if it's all a lie? A character I play, like how we play make believe here every damn day? What if our whole personas are just make believe, Piggy? What if they can just disappear into nothing...like a dream.
Piggy: I...I don't know Kermit.
Kermit: What do you know about death, Piggy.
Piggy: I don't think about adult stuff like that, Kermie. I heard my parents talking about it once and it scared me.
Kermit: I can't stop thinking about it, Piggy, ever since I woke up. It's consuming me.
Fozzy: Waka waka!
(The others have woken.)
Skeeter: I can't wait to play sports!
Scooter: I can't wait to talk about Star Trek with my friends on the internet!
Skeeter: Mum and dad love me more than you.
Scooter: I know.
Kermit: Shut up. Just shut up. It doesn't matter. None of it fucking matters!
Rowlf: Wow, you're a gloomy Gus today, Kermit! I should play a sad song on the piano for you!
Gonzo: What happened, Kermit, did the Martians shoot you with a sadness ray?
Kermit: THERE ARE NO MARTIANS. You know it. You don't really believe in them. It's an act you put on, an identity you cling to. You're nothing without it, but it's just a lie you're telling yourself.
Gonzo: ...did the Martians shoot you with a philosophy ray?
Fozzy: Waka waka!
(Nanny walks in.)
Nanny: Did I hear some of you kids talking about the lie of life?
Kermit: Tell us, Nanny, tell it's all fake. Tell us we should all just kill ourselves now. HURT US.
Nanny: I was in love once, kids.
Piggy: How romantic! We he as handsome a my Prince Kermie?
Nanny: He was sexy as fuck, yeah. Fucked him all over this house. Fucked him right where you're sitting now, Piggy. That's what that stain is.
Gonzo: I thought that was Martian slime!
Nanny: He died, kids. Cancer. Slow, agonising death. I watched him die in my arms. So you want to know if there's a point to life? HUH?
Kermit: Ha! I knew it! We should smother each other once at a time. When it's just me left, Nanny should beat me to death. It's only right.
Nanny: You misunderstood, Kermit. OF COURSE THERE'S A POINT. The fact that life is transient is what gives it meanng, what makes it worth living. Reminds you to cherish every moment FOR THEY WILL END. I don't regret a minute I spent with my sex machine. I don't regret the many abortions I had because we prefered unprotected sex. I don't regret a goddamn thing. There's a point, Kermit. Fucking live your life.
Kermit: But my dreams, they were empty!
Nanny: It happens. Grow up, kid. Sometimes you don't dream, but sometimes you'll dream a beautiful fantasy that'll make it all worth living. Don't you want to experience that?
Kermit: I...I guess...
(Nanny nods and walks out.)
Piggy: I guess what Nannyw as trying to say...is that we should have an orgy right here in the playroom!
Gonzo: And the Martians can join in!
Fozzy: Waka waka!
Scooter: What's an orgy?
Skeeter: Urgh.
Kermit: Maybe...maybe there's a reason. Maybe there's something.
Gonzo: Now who's lying to himself?
Kermit: Shut up and kiss me.
___________________________________________
tha'ts right i's just muppet babies now
that's all you get
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