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Things Past

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Gonad

DON'T FUCK WITH MY TITLE BITCH
haha Mirah, it figures that on the very next trip the husband takes out of town, I go spelunking in my hard drive to the very folders where I hid *that* picture. It is classified as a hidden file so it is all blurry, but still-- WHAM! I can still remember using my scroll wheel to zoom in and out of that picture with wild abandon. Remember? aaahaahaaaaagggggghhhhh

Okay, here is the build of my ex.







I have awesomer pictures but I'm too considerate to want to get him meme'd. I have this great one where he pulls his boxers up to his shoulders and puts his arms through the leg holes. While he is wearing them.
 
Here is my old mattress:



Other side:




Oooh, I like the thumbnail link option. Those who dare might wish to click the links and view the mattress I shared with my large exboyfriend. Wild times.
 
Oooohhhh, we used to leave eachother love notes as word files on the desktop:

Feb. 18th 2003

Good god <Gonad> I love You

I happened across your little letter just the next day after you had written it for me. I wasn't having the best day, and believe me <Gonad>, it got much brighter after stumbling across your affectionate note.. You have an unbelievable effect on my overall happiness. I love you for that (and mucho more, of course). If you dressed in all black and raided my great grandmothers house with a shotgun in hand, I would be angry with you only up until the point that you smiled at me and told me how handsome I was. I am not pussy-whipped, only love-whipped. I would chew the contagious herpe warts off of your festering anus if it meant i would receive some love in return. If I am anywhere near you when you are reading this note, you better hop to your cute little feetsies, and plant a big old smooch right on my kissable little lips. If you don't, it is over between us. Well it would be over up until you threw me a little tad of love. I'm love-whipped.

Your sweet little nut sack,
<ExFirst> Bumble Bear <ExLast>
 
June 9th 2003
9:32 AM
<Ex's> Rec Room
Well Hello there my Sweet, How are You?
I was simply Longing for you and decided to write you a letter using some of my new cool fonts As Im sure you could tell? Damn I need you right now! I ache for your gentle caress.
Do you know what else I ache for? Your goose-pimpled body. The naughty things I would absolutley love to do to you. Let's just say it involves my slippery tongue. I love You <Gonad>.
I Love You So Much <Gonad>, It blows my Mind!
I still remember crying to you at the buzz inn when you said all of those wonderful things about Me
You are a sweetHeart <Gonad>
and I will love you forever. And ever.
Once you die I will still love your corpse as if your soul still inhabited the rotting body. I adore your every trait, I love your every flaw (not that there is many). Your kisses hold emmense power.
Just Remember <Gonad>, You are deeply loved by me. And it isnt going away any time! I will NEVER leave your arms. How could I. I Am Very In Love With You.
One Year of my life that is by far greater than any other, even though other things in my life weren't going so great. You were there and wonderful, as always. <Gonad>, I Love You.

<Gonad>
And
<Ex>
Forever

LOVE ALWAYS,
<Ex>

hm.
 
The first picture in the bathtub, I can't help but think that he is dead. I don't remember his face now, but I do remember looking at these before and the others as well.
 
jUNE 11TH 2003
9:00 am
bUMBLEBEAR'S hIBERNATION STATION
Well hey there you scrumptious little tart named <Gonad>, how are you?
Sorry, I'm not being lazy, it's just that I like using the fonts I've been downloading.
I adore you <Gonad>, and I want to smell your hair. I like that. I am sure that I
already apologized, but I am SO sincerely sorry about
my atrotious (did I spell that right?)
attitude yesterday. I really needed to see
you, and then I did, but then you went away, and I had to
sit there with <friend of ex>. Don't get me wrong, I love <friend of ex> and all but you are
much better company. He doesn't give me blowjobs. Thank god. Oh well, I will see
my adorable <Gonad> later today, and we shall stuff ourselves beyond belief.


I wish you were here right now, I am very lonely. I need you, but then again when don't I need you. You are
my everything. My dearest sweetheart whom I cherish insanely. Damn I love
you. You are Amazing. Unbelievable. full of
everything that is wonderful, and mucho more. I don't know what I would do
without you, and the best part is that I will never find out. I am not going
anywhere. Don't worry about that. I would
wither and wilt without my doses of your love. No doubt. I dont
even want to think about life without my gorgeous little
<Gonad>. She is the best human being. Besides maybe Martin Luther King. His
dreams didn't involve my hairy belly. You're just a damn
wirdo. You know, I always thought that my dreams were crazy. So how are we
gonna bring the wheel barrow on the bus? You know to wheel my
fat ass out of Old Country Buffet Tonight. I'll race you to the bus
stop. I'll win, but the bus stop will stink
of vomit. "You mean just like downtown mommy?" That's right little
<Gonad> just like the bus stops downtown that reek like a fuckin litterbox for
50 damn cats. Oh well, it is worth it for The nine dollar
admission to the bliss known only as Old Country Buffet! I love to eat out with you (and on you)
and this is like the supreme place to eat out. It's the ultimate night of eating out. Hint Hint.


One time <C> took us (Me <B> <T>
<R>, probably someone else too) to old country buffet and I don't
even remember why but <C> started bitching
about how she wanted the reserved area that already had one
Mexican family already in it. They eventually gave in and we
went and sat next to the other family. Everyone in the whole place heard <C>
yelling and bitching and it was way embarassing to go fill up our plates
and everyone was looking at us all rudely
and crudely. It sucked bit fat donkey dick. <C> always did that type of stuff
though. I am pretty sure I already told you that
a while ago. Correct me if I'm wrong. She was crazy as hell when
it came to that type of shit. She wanted her way, and
she got it. anytime. ask me about the
Taco Bell almost fight (if I haven't already told you that
story already).

I am looking at a pic of
you covered in bubble bath, and it is going
to arouse me if I.... Too late. What am I talking about
I am always aroused. With a girl like you on my arm
can you blame me? I bet not. Amd if not, you're a fuckin' liar. I love you <Gonad>. My Sweet.
I really want to simply wrap our bodies around each other like slugs (not seriosly
Supernatural Shogun Slugs) mating.
All slimy and shit. Hell yeah. God damn I want to lick your tongue, your lips, your hips, your
thighs, your shoulders. I love you. It feels good. You make me feel good. Wonderful.


I can't get enough of you, and I love it! Don't you? I am
sure you do. I know you quite well already.
"Already" what am I talking about it has been a year already. I told my dad it has been a year and he told me "Time flies when your
having fun" and I have always known that, but it so truly aplies in our case. Time flew because we were
having so much damn fun. What a year. Truly grand. Don't you agree?
How could you not. If you don't think it was grand then you are the best faker
ever. I Love and miss you <Gonad>, and only
six hours seperate us. That isn't too
bad. It could be worse. As we both know from <state>
and <other state>. Those weeks sucked pretty damn
bad. I was going crazy wanting to see me <Gonad>. She is dear to me. Duh!!! Well I am gonna stop
writing soon because I started this an hour and ten minutes
ago, I love you my chipmunk. I miss you too you know.

<Ex>
+
<Gonad>
forever
.
 
The first picture in the bathtub, I can't help but think that he is dead. I don't remember his face now, but I do remember looking at these before and the others as well.

You remember; those pictures were great! He was adorable, all curvy and soft and pretty. Like a little (big) wild animal.
 
Feb. 13th 03'

Well Hello My Cutie Putootie with a fine little booty!

How the hell are you? I'm OK. Just too lazy to write, typing is much, much faster. I hope you weren't too late to work today. I didn't mean to upset you so stinkin' much. Sorry I am such a darn crybaby. It pains me to stress you as I did. I send you a buttload of the sincerest apologies possible. I just hate to see you go from happy as heck, to sudden "disintegration". I am so glad that I could come over and sleep next your warm, smooth body. You sounded so broken on the phone late last night; I had to come see you. Gosh, and I thought I needed to see you before we had spoken on the phone! Boy oh boy was I wrong. For Sheezy.

It sucked, I read thought the entire fucking employment newspaper and every job was either for drivers, or registered nurses, or dominatrix's with penises. Any job that didn't require some quite specialized skill was in Tacoma, or Bellevue, or Kent. The very few jobs that weren't specialized or distant required a driver's license. There was one listing for Sear's in Seattle (testing stuff that the repairmen fix) that I am going to call, and the only other possible thing in there was a bartender class for two hundred dollars or less for a one week course and job placement. $15-$35 per hour. I don't know if that is what I want, but it is a relatively cheap class that could give me enough knowledge to always fall back on bartending forever. Not that I would want to have a career in fucking bartending, but it pays well, and supposedly bartenders are almost always needed in our state. Oh, and don't forget that I could bring home the ugly skank sitting at the bar that no one else picked up every night. I am sure you know I am just kidding. You better. This was the first time I had browsed through "Today's Careers" and it was quite disappointing. There were tons of listings, but none for me. Punk motherfucker ass shit licking newspaper.

Anyways. <A> is lucky he is somewhat my friend because if he weren't, <R> and I would run up in his house with some ski masks and rob that fool blind. Besides when I saw my uncle's grow room, I have never seen so much pot in my life. He was making a deal last night of a whole pound. The deal ended up getting screwed up in a major way though. One of <A's> buddies set up the deal with some "big black guys". He told the "big black guys" that he could get a pound of good chronic for four grand. The "big black guys" gave the friend all of the money up front (I don't know why, but they knew the friend so I guess they trusted him) and the friend went to another of <A's> buddies (<J>) and told him to set up the deal through <A>, giving <J> 3300 dollars (the price <A> charges for a pound). <J> goes to <A> with the 3300 (not knowing that the other friend collected 4000) and picked up the pound. <J> went to meet the "big black guys" and presented the pot to them. They weren't impressed with the quality and did not wish to make the purchase. <J> was cool with that and said, "Here is your 3300 bucks". That is when the "big black guys" informed him that they had put up four thousand dollars to the other friend. Luckily, the "big black guys" understood that <J> wasn't the one who had the 700 dollars and weren't upset with him. That is all that went down as of last night, but I am sure something will happen to this other friend at a later date. He has some nerve. If you ask me, in general it is OK to profit off of hooking up a drug deal. When you hook up a deal, you put your butt on the line and you deserve something out of being the darn middleman. But, If you do, you better make sure that everything falls through OK, other wise you will get killed for 700 fucking bucks.

Sorry to rant off some boring drug story but it doesn't go down like that too often. A pound is 256 twenty sacks. As I am sure you know, that is a LOT of marywanna. OK, OK, I will change the boring drug subject. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. How is that for a good new subject? Now see, that was another good reason to type a letter versus writing. Copy. Paste. Repeat. Instant multiple "I love you's"! Aren't I the sweetest? I already know what your answer will be, so don't even bother.

You tell me everyday how sweet I am to you. It astounds me that you fear that you are not kind enough to me. Each and every day you shower me with constant compliments; and believe me <Gonad>, I know it. I've never been treated with such kindness and sincerity in my entire life. You cause my cranium to expand six millimeters each and every single day; it is slowly filling with ego-flavored air. Life with my <Gonad> is pure and simple bliss. I adore you, my love. Now I know you won't, but please do not forget that. Who could ask for anything more? Not I.


Your Bumble Bear,

<Ex>

Every relationship has its trade-offs. This ex is the one I was living with when I discovered TK, and the time period where I spammed was when the relationship was crumbling.
 
God how I love you <Gonad>. You are absolutely everything
to me, and my heart thumps your name solidly through
my entire body. I wish we could magically meld our hands
together for assurance that we will remain together for
eternity (not that I have ANY doubts!). I love you <Gonad>,
and I know more than anything that you love me just as
dearly.

<Ex>
October 12, 2002

Young love. I was a young 21 when this was originally typed. And this relationship was a net gain for me. I have no regrets about it. Not about starting the relationship, and not about the end of the relationship. I would not change a thing.
 
My husband just called and now I feel a little guilty! Spending so much time and attention on an old flame. That's okay. I won't go into detail about my current relationship because it would make you all sick with disbelief. This prior relationship, with all of the loving emails, ended with him leaving me and screwing me over for rent. I still don't entirely understand what thought processes lead him to decide it was a good idea, but that is just fine. He moved in with his drug dealer. I begged him to stay at first, and then had a turnabout of opinion. And two nights before he was gone from the apartment I met the guy I am married to now.
 
He looks like me, only I have a big butt. Shame he turned out to be a lame douche.
 
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