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Tiger Woods

eloisel

eloisel

Forever Empress E
Do you care that he is a big ol' scuzz?

I keep getting emails from his "fan club" asking if I would still purchase products he endorses. I don't know that I purchase anything he endorses. That isn't one of the things I consider when I purchase anything - "What would Tiger Woods, scuzzbucket, sell?" I only know who he is because his name is in the news often. I don't watch golf. I don't golf. I don't care anything about golf. I don't know his wife. I'm not having sex with him. He isn't good looking or interesting enough to be on my radar.

Do you buy anything because Tiger "scuzzbucket" Woods has or might sell it? Do you have penis envy?
 
I give about two fucks what he does or who he fucks. Golf is an elitist fat white american non-sport. Anyone who plays it "professionally" isn't worth a shit-stained hair on my browneye. All this fuss over Tiger's indiscretion is stupid. He even said so himself.

My roommate likes to watch CNN. When Larry King Live started last night Larry said, "the moment we've all been waiting for is 24 hours away." When did America as a whole go bonkers about this bullshit, and why are we all waiting for him to explain why he's a philandering rich guy?

Long story short, who the fuck cares?
 
Obviously, some part of the country was holding Tiger Woods up as a role model. I guess those people have yet to learn celebrities are hardly a moral compass.
 
Now, his "fan club" wants to know if I think Tiger should have apologised to me. Please. No. He shouldn't apologise to me. He should send cash, and lots of it.
 
I choose to believe that everybody's being pointlessly sanctimonious because the alternative is simply too much to bear thinking about.
 
See, I agree with that. If for some reason his honesty and integrity were important to me, then that would be different. They aren't. I would never buy anything because some celebrity hawked it. Except for maybe Bruce Willis. He would have to say, "buy it or Yippie-kie-aye, MFer," to convince me and it would have to be something I'd have bought anyway, but, I'd at least let Bruce think he had some influence over my decision.
 
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