SB, I want more details about these dramatic changes to your life. The unexpected ones, please. One of the reasons I've never wanted to have kids was because I remember my own childhood and have no desire to be the parent in any of those memories. Not because my childhood was unpleasant (it was actually quite fortunate) but because it seems like a lot of effort, physically as well as psychologically.
Unexpected changes:
Social life changed, not just in the naughty aspects. You "gain" a new social circle, new families. I have NEVER in my entire life found a more passive-aggressive competitive group in my entire life. Jealousy, female "nice fighting", and constant comparisons between children of roughly the same age with regard to "milestones". Doesn't matter if your child is ahead or behind, it's bad either way. The sad thing is that it is difficult to get rid of these people as one has a lot of pressure to "socialize" your children and have them exposed to kids their own age.
Physical changes: pix worked very hard to get her body back into "dancing shape" again. She breast-fed, so there has been a major "redistribution" of how they are now. Not bad, IMHO, but very different. She's also been unable to get her stomach completely flat (C-section might have had something to do with it). This has made her very unhappy. To me, it's a "new wife", a new playground. However, she's not happy with the changes. She also believes it's affected the resiliency of her skin. To my eye, however, she's close to the same, only skinnier as she went below her normal weight in an attempt to flatten her belly. We may do a "mommy tuck" for her vanity. We'll see.
Lack of bonding:
I did NOT bond with my son immediately. Neither did pix. And the entire "new mom's" group is going on and on with how they are so closely bound to their children. We thought there was something wrong with us. Honestly, he was a chore for the first six months. We talked to him, held him, cuddled, fed, cleaned him...but my overwhelming emotion was mild annoyance and outright hostility when the sleep deprivation got too bad. HOWEVER, once he started to talk, a personality emerged, and the bonding process started. Now I can honestly say he means the world to me, but it wasn't an instant, "Put him in my arms and I love him" type thing. He keeps getting more interesting as his vocabulary/actions gain in sophistication. Give him another year and I'll start to teach him how to pick up girls.
Sex life:
Declined for about 6 months. Sleep deprivation was probably the main cause. Breasts were off limits (that's just us, some people think that a nursing woman is a turn-on, we just found it messy). Then it recovered once his sleeping patterns semi-stablized. D/s is "quiet", no impact play, and bondage is all "light" as I may have to get her free quickly. Heavy play is reserved for out of the house. We also used to be able to dress for events/parties and just throw a cloak or coat over the fetish-gear. Now with a sitter, we have to lug additional bags to change at the event.
Also under sex life: pix seems to be even more irresistible to women than she was before. We have no idea why.
Last note: "creation sex" was incredible. We'd give it a week's rest before "ovulation day", then WHEEEEE!!!!!! I had not seen pix that passionate (and she's passionate by nature) since our honeymoon.
I hope this helps...seriously if you are wondering "if" you want children, then you will be unhappy for about a year and then things will adjust and become "normal" again. But be prepared for an unhappy year.
-SB
