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Wacky Reviews: Various Movies 2015

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Various movies that don't have their own thread or fit in other threads or whatever.

Edge Of Tomorrow - I remember how everyone was saying "THIS MOVIE IS ACTUALLY GOOD WHY IS IT BOMBING" when it came out. Well, now that I've watched it...yeah, it is actually good and it didn't deserve to bomb. I guess it was marketed poorly or everyone hates Tom Cruise too much to see movies with him in them now. Which is a shame because he was very good in it. And Emily Blunt was really great too with her sexy lean body (BUT ALSO GOOD CHARACTER.) Yeah it's an alien fighting movie crossed with Groundhog Day but that's fun! More movies should rip off Groundhog Day.

22 Jump Street - I liked the original so can this one live up to it? Yes! It was just as funny, I'd say. It's very self-referential, obviously, so if that annoys you you'll be annoyed. But it's funny. Isn't that what you want from a comedy? Yeah, I'd say so. Still the best stuff Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum have ever done. Ice Cube was hilarious too. And the evil girl (I can't be bothered looking up her name.) Yeah if you liked the first one there's literally no way you won't like this.
 
Edge of Tomorrow was one of my favourite movies of the year. I watched the X-Men movie later the same day and found it really dull in comparison.

EoT works really well because it integrates the character development into the action sequences, rather than having a five minute action sequence, followed by ten mind numbing minutes of someone refusing to take part in an action sequence WHEN WE ALL KNOW they will, then a five minute action sequence, before another 15 minutes of a different character refusing to take part in an action sequence even though WE ALL KNOW JAMES MCAVOY HASNT BEEN HIRED JUST SO HE CAN SAY "NO" AND NOT BE IN THE REST OF THE MOVIE, followed by awful cgi of a stadium flying around.

I also liked that Tom Cruise being initially smarmy and annoying was actually intentional, and how we grew to like him. The little comedy moments broke up what could've been monotonous time repetitions as well.
 
Well I liked the X-Men movie but yeah it did suffer from "introduce a character have them do something character disappers" thing.
 
...or everyone hates Tom Cruise too much to see movies with him in them now.
This. Call me an intolerant boohat, but he is a poison pill for me. And it's not just because of the crazy cult stuff -- he is the king of the herd of actors for whom their roles are superceded by their personalities. It's impossible for him to get lost in a role -- he is always Tom Cruise on screen. I forgive other actors for this, but if I don't like the actor, I mostly can't sit through his/her movies anymore.
 
It's true, you never really feel it's a character on screen. It's always Tom Cruise doing his pained Tom Cruise face. I've no idea what his character in EoT was called.

I feel that a bit with Matt Damon. When he popped up unexpectedly in a movie recently I was taken completely out of the story. Still, he does try.
 
Well I thought he was good in Edge Of Tomorrow and even likable. SO THERE!?

The Inbetweeners 2 - So I remember thinking the first Inbetweeners movie was good in a "dumbed down from the tv show" type way. And this is more of the same, really, but in Australia. Well, it's supposed to be in Australia but there's very few actual Australians in it so I doubt it was even filmed there. Neil is now so thick that he couldn't possibly stay alive. Everything Jay says is now his most outrageous lie ever. And I'm pretty sure Will's mum wouldn't have bought him a rape alarm in the tv show. Will and Neil's girlfriends from the previous movie vanish with no explanation, Jay's "fat" girlfriend (who isn't actually fat) is in it for about 30 seconds and Simon's girlfriend who was nice in the previous movie is now a complete psycho because "bitches be cray" or something. Like so crazy she'd be locked up if it was real. And the ending is really abrupt and weird. DESPITE THIS I did laugh a few times, the boys are still good at playing the characters (even though they're ten years older than their characters now) and if you liked the show you'll probably enjoy some of it at least. But 22 Jump Street was a far superior comedy sequel IMHO.
 
I also liked EoT. I watched it on a whim and was surprised how good it was. I wasn't expecting much but it was more than decent. I also kinda like Tom Cruise. Yeah the whole Scientology thing is BEYOND weirdness but he always seems so affable in interviews and I think he's a good actor as well.
 
Gravity - Yeah I realise everyone else watched this 8 years ago or whatever in the cinema in 3D probably and it can't really be as good on tv. But it still looked pretty on tv. There should have been a post credits scene where George Clooney was in an alien spaceship and he looked into the camera and winked.
 
Loved Gravity. even though Neil deGrasse Tyson was able to poke all kinds of holes in the scientific accuracy, poo poo.

Tina Fey had the best Gravity joke at the Golden Globes: (9:53 in, the timed video link doesn't work because of the ads before the video)

[YOUTUBE]b5ZnnE1nPrQ[/YOUTUBE]
 
It would have been funny if Gravity had ended with Sandra Bullock stepping onto land at last then being eaten by an aligator though.
 
Godzilla - Bryan Cranston's character is the only one with any actual depth so (spoiler!) he dies about half an hour in. Then you have to watch his boring son, the least charismatic man alive, for the rest of the movie. Just fucking show Godzilla? Oh, there he is...nope, the movie's cut away as if to say "fuck you, you don't deserve to see Godzilla yet!" We do finally get to see him fight (at night) and I assume it looked impressive on a big, well lit screen. Really the could have cut the first 30 minutes and it would have made no difference to the movie. I understand that the movie can't just be constant monster fighting for two hours, but couldn't they at least make the human stuff more interesting? I liked it when Godzilla used his radiation breath thing.
 
I thought people were exaggerating about how bad it was, as I know a few who described the amazing True Detective as boring and slow. But fuck were they right about Godzilla! I've never seen such a frustrating movie in my life! The worst bit was when there was a really good fight scene, but it happened on a TV screen. And the camera panned away to show the boring man's boring son. FFS!
 
And people say things like "WELL YOU DON'T SEE THE SHARK MUCH IN JAWS" but the shark is supposed to be an unseen menace. It's not 300 feet tall. It would be like if when the t-rex first attacked in Jurassic Park it went to Hammond having a nap with the t-rex on a monitor in the background.
 
I'll pick another from the list tonight; I watched EOT last night. It was pretty good! How could you not enjoy watching Tom Cruise get shot over and over and over again? :) Maybe Godzilla tonight....

I watched The Equalizer the other night (Denzel Washington). Entirely predictable but I love "average Joe turns out to be kick ass operative" movies. I also liked the Sherlock Holmes movies for the kick ass part combined with humor. Loved them! I'm catching up on movies; it's a new hobby for me--loading up a movie on my Kindle at night and just relaxing. Heaven.
 
The Equalizer - It was okay. Denzel is a good actor (obviously) so he made it more watchable. The final action scene in the hardware store was entertaining. I thought the movie was a bit long though, for what it was. And not enough Chloe Grace Moretz.
 
Gone Girl - This was a good movie. Great performance by Rosamund Pike. Ben Affleck was good too. It kind of reminded me of what we were saying about Tom Cruise as Affleck seemed to be cast at least in part because of how insincere he looks (he's got the kind of face where you'd believe he's murdered his wife.) I see a lot of people (well, vocal people anyway) seem to hate it for not being "realistic" but I think that's kind of missing the point?
 
Just watched 22 Jump street, was good, 1st one was better, but still good, liked all the fake sequels at the end.
 
I finally saw Argo the other day and understood why people liked Ben Afleck in that. It helps that his role is fairly understated. He's playing a key part in events, but never does anything annoying like act out a safari scene with animal crackers on Liv Tyler's belly, so you don't hate him. His direction was good, too, though really I didn't think he did anything special. It was such a good true life story that it'd be very difficult to make a crap film from it.
 
I watched The Grand Budapest Hotel a couple nights ago. It was good (that's my review!)
 
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