When you are posting on Facebook

[I Love Cunt]

And then your phone rings
and you ignore it
and then you are like
"Fuck, now I have to stop posting on FB and pretend I am doing sometihng else"

 

[The Question]

It's usually a telemarketer. So I pretend to be fapping until I make THEM hang up.

 

[I Love Cunt]

Is that how YOU get off? Does it work? Do you want me to call you and pretend to be a telemarketer?

 

[I Love Cunt]

Hello sir, I would like to tell you about a really great new product or service.
You: Uh huh, Oh yeah, please tell me, that would be great! YES.
That is great, thank you for your enthusiasm (said in a dull monotone voice) We offer
You: Oh yeah, keep going! Yes YES
Okay, I will tell you that we offer 4 weeks of......
Talking drowned out by you coming.

 

[The Question]

Is that how YOU get off? Does it work? Do you want me to call you and pretend to be a telemarketer?

No, it's calculated to make the telemarketer uncomfortable enough to put me on their own internal "do not call" list. Yes, it works. Since I started treating them to that, telemarketer calls have decreased in frequency by almost 100%.

 

[The Question]

Hello sir, I would like to tell you about a really great new product or service.
You: Uh huh, Oh yeah, please tell me, that would be great! YES.
That is great, thank you for your enthusiasm (said in a dull monotone voice) We offer
You: Oh yeah, keep going! Yes YES
Okay, I will tell you that we offer 4 weeks of......
Talking drowned out by you coming.

Except imagine me doing that in a Peter Lorre vocal impersonation.

 

[I Love Cunt]

I won't imagine you doing that at all.

 

[The Question]

Good choice.