WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN HEART ATTACKS

[Lord Raffles]

THE threat of pwnage is simply too great; if we confirm that we sympathize with Hambil's heart attack and it is later proven to be a fiction, all those who prayed on behalf of Hambil will by default look foolish and pwned. Take for example the case of Captain Jack. Not only was the judgement of this user in question (Captain Jack when we have a veteren member named jack?) but also his/her credibility as a personality with regards to the aftermath of the Dead Raffle's Incident. As a result of Captain Jack's heart felt sympathy for my fictional death, I am now able to throw it in his/her face whenever he decides to answer me back; I’m like the spiteful headmaster who found the two jocks bumming each other. As far as I'm concerned, this pleb can no longer garner any form of respect from me. I don’t have to answer to him. Even if Captain Jack was able to disprove my numerous pseudo intellectual arguments, it matters not in the slightest; I can whip out a quote where he laments on the sympathy he bestowed upon me for an incident that never occurred, in addition to the anger he/she felt when it was discovered that the whole incident was a fabrication on my behalf (thanks to an alliance with Conchaga which today remains as solid as a rock!).

Even if it were proven with photographs and phone calls that Hambil died of a heart attack, I wouldn't and couldn’t believe it; I've used too many tricks where upon the credibility of my silly arguments could never be disputed - and that includes phone calls and declarations of love... including real life facials.

True, I may come across as a pathological psychopath who takes things to the different level, but they said that about Christ.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

I still think you're dead.

 

[Lord Raffles]

I still think you're dead.

That's the power of my myth building.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Have you seen a speech therapist about that lisp?

 

[Lord Raffles]

Have you seen a speech therapist about that lisp?

That joke doesn't work.

 

[jack]

Homo's are like that. Y'know when you get to the ass fucking part, that's where I draw the line.

 

[jack]

I mean I know a couple of women that like it up the butt, or at least claim they do, but they're different than most women anyway.

Just keep that fucking thing away from me, is all I'm saying.

 

[DarthSikle]

I've been fortunate, most of the women that I have dated like it up the butt occaisonly.

 

[Lord Raffles]

I've been fortunate, most of the women that I have dated like it up the butt occaisonly.

I would never date a prude... I've tried, but it always leads to rape.