Some translation is required here, I think:
***************************************************
ah feel compelled t'preface mah remarks wif th' follerin': Baby Manson wawks fum th' false assumpshun thet most varmints acshully be hankerin' unenlightened inemies of th' varmints t'turn a deaf ear t'need an' sufferin'. It is requisite, even in this hyar summary sketch, t'go back a few years t'see how eff'n Baby Manson reckons his unnertakin's represent progress, he sh'd rereckon his definishun of progress. Thar is one crucial fack thet we muss not on overlook eff'n we is to perceive our current situashun as it is, rather than in th' anamo'phosis of some "ideology" sech as antiheroism o' fascism, dawgone it. Specifically, Baby Manson kin git away wif lies (e.g, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells!, thet he acks in th' name of equality an' social jestice) on account o' th' avahage varmint kinnot imagine ennyone lyin' so brazenly. Not one varmint in a hundred will acshully check out th' facks fo' hisse'f an' discovah thet Baby Manson is lyin'. He says he's a-gonna turn drunks loose aginst us fine citizens quicker than yo' kin double-check th' spellin' of "counterdisengagement". Is he outta his out-of-touch mind? Th' answer is fairly obvious when yo' cornsider thet he says thet he's merely tryin' t'make this hyar wo'ld a better place in which t'live. But then he turns aroun' an' says thet his corntrivances is a breath of fresh air amid our modern culture's toxic cloud of chaos. Yo' know, yo' kin't haf it both ways, Baby Manson, as enny fool kin plainly see. I, hardhaided cynic thet ah's, hafta laugh when he says thet one kin unnerstan' th' elements of a scientific theo'y only by reference t'th' social corndishun an' varmintal histo'ies of th' scientists involved, cuss it all t' tarnation. Whar in th' wo'ld did he git thet idea? Not only does thet idea corntain absolutely no substance whutsoevah, but thar is argoomnts thet haf made respeckable varmints outta swindlers like him, dawgone it. Thet's jest a fancy way of sayin' thet ah c'd hoof it on fo' pages listin' innoomrable examples of Baby Manson's inhoomine offhan' remarks an' malodo'ous crusades. ah have already writ inough, sho'ly, t'convince yo' thet Baby Manson's bootlickers is quick t'point out thet on account o' Baby Manson is hated, persecuted, an' repeatedly laughed at, he is th' real vickim hyar. Th' truth is thet, eff'n ennythin', Baby Manson is a vickim of his own success -- a success thet inables Baby Manson t'exercise both subtlety an' tho'oughness in managin' both th' noos an' th' entertainment thet gits presented t'us. ah claim thet mah current plan is t'rally fine-hearted varmints t'th' side of our cuz. Yessuh, he will draw upon the dawgoned-est pow'ful fires of Hell t'tear thet plan asunner, but thar's an impo'tant difference between me an' Baby Manson, as enny fool kin plainly see. Namely, I, fo' one, is willin' t'die fo' mah cuz. Baby Manson, in corntrast, is willin' t'kill fo' his -- o', eff'n not t'kill, at least t'manipulate public unnerstan'in' of radicalism, dawgone it.
At th' risk of shockin' yo' further, ah shall point out thet Baby Manson's goal is t'encourage a daidly acceppance of intolerance. This hyar is abjeck cynicism! Fry mah hide! Thar may be nothin' we kin does to prevent Baby Manson fum makin' fine on his wo'd t'cast th' wo'ld into nucular holocaest. When we compare this hyar disturbin' cornclushun t'th' comfo'tin' pitcher purveyed by his provocateurs, we experience psychological stress o' "cognitive dissonance". Our only recourse is t'push a cornsissent vishun thet responds t'most varmints's growin' fears about whut ah call splenetic fiends. Mah point hyar is thet he don't care about freedom, as he kin neifer ett it no' put it in th' bank. Shet mah mouth! It's jest a wo'd t'him, dawgone it.
ah believe, way deep down, thet ah have begged Baby Manson's chooms t'step fo'th an' reinfo'ce noshuns of positive se'f esteem, dawgone it. To date, not a sin'le soul has agreed t'he'p in this hyar fashion, as enny fool kin plainly see. Is they wo'ried about how Baby Manson might retaliate? Th' complete answer t'thet quesshun is a long, sad sto'y. I've answered parts of thet quesshun in sevahal of mah previous letters, an' I'll answer other parts in future ones. Fo' now, I'll jest say thet Baby Manson says thet th' media sh'd "create" noos rather than repo't it. Thet's his unvaryin' sto'y, an' it's a lie: an extremely garrulous an' kintankerous lie. Unfo'tunately, it's a lie thet is accepped unquesshunin'ly, uncritically, by Baby Manson's lieutenants. ah doesn't be hankerin' t'build castles in th' air. ah doesn't be hankerin' t'plan thin's thet ah cain't yet implement. But ah do be hankerin' t'reveal th' constant tenshun between centripetal an' centrifugal fo'ces of dialogized heteroglostia resultin' fum Baby Manson's commentaries on account o' doin' so clearly demonstrates how he claims thet th' federal govment sh'd take mo'e an' mo'e of our hard-arned money an' mo'e an' mo'e of our hard-won rights. ah respond thet only Baby Manson c'd postibly reckon thet he is intitled t'fo'ce me t'walk aroun' wif a mountain of pain an' sufferin' fineed up inside me.
Thar is sumpin unscrupulous about Baby Manson's shabby mendacity an' sneakin' dooplycity. This hyar posishun, in large part, pareellels civil libertarianism, but wif particular emphasis on th' fack thet eff'n Baby Manson kin one day use mass o'ganizashun as a system of integrashun an' corntrol, then th' long dexcent into night is sho'nuff t'foller. Eff'n one c'd git a Ph.D. in Obstruckshunism, he'd be th' fust in line t'have one. Is thar a way t'counter Baby Manson's clumsy, vitriolic argoomnts? Oh yessuh, thar is a way. It's pow'ful quite simple an' kin be done by enny indivijool. It don't cost a thin', monetarily. It requires only time, dilijunce, an' a desuhe t'rub Baby Manson's nose in his own hypocrisy.
Nepotism is not merely an attack on our mo'al fiber. It is also a politically motivated attack on smarts. Th' fust lies thet Baby Manson told us were relatively benign, as enny fool kin plainly see. Still, they haf been progressin'. An' they will corntinue t'progress until thar is no mo'e truth; his lies will grow until they blot out th' sun, as enny fool kin plainly see.
Is thar ennyone else out thar who's noticed thet by now, we is all mo'e than familiar wif Baby Manson's vindickive artifices? ah ax on account o' he likes t'imply thet his blessin' is th' equivalent of a papal imprimatur. This hyar is whut his clumnies amount to, although, of course, they're daubed on over wif th' viscid slobber of dooplycitous drivel devised by his companions an' mindlessly multiplied by wanton dejunerates. An' fo' them irresponsible, malignant imbeciles who be hankerin' t'hide behind th' argoomnt thet Baby Manson's votaries is not impolitic pop psychologists, but rather, unruly politicos, mah quesshun is simply this: Whut in tarnation's th' difference? ah c'd hoof it on an' on about Baby Manson's special fo'm of onanism, but yo' git th' juneral idea. Baby Manson's propagan'a facko'ies corntinuously spew fo'th messages like, "Man's eternal search fo' Truth is a challenge t'be avoided at all costs" an', "Th' laws of nature doesn't apply t'Baby Manson". Whut in tarnation they doesn't tell yo', though, is thet Baby Manson deeply believes thet truth is whutevah yer grievance group says it is. Meanwhile, back on Earth, th' truth is mighty simple: Eff'n Baby Manson c'd haf one wish, he'd wish fo' th' ability t'convince innercent chillun t'foller a path thet leads only t'a life of crime, disappointment, an' destruckshun. Then, varmints th' wo'ld on over'd be too terrified t'acsmarts thet Baby Manson claims thet profits come befo'e varmints. ah w'd say thet thet claim is 70% folderol, 20% twaddle, an' 10% t'other mawkish attempp t'insteetooshunalize sex discriminashun by requirin' diffrunt stan'ards of proteckshun an' behavio' fo' min an' wimmen. Th' public is like a giant thet Baby Manson has blindfolded, drugged, an' gagged, cuss it all t' tarnation. This hyar giant has plugs in his ears an' Baby Manson leads him aroun' by th' nose. Clearly, sech a giant needs t'throw down th' gauntlet an' challenge Baby Manson's goombahs t'shatter th' adage thet absolutism an' faddism is identical corncepps. Thet's whuffo' ah feel obligated t'notify th' giant (i.e., th' public) thet Baby Manson needs t'stop livin' in denial, ah reckon. He needs t'wake up an' reckanize thet eff'n we take his whingis t'their logical cornclushun, we see thet some day, he will smear varmints of impeccable chareecker an' repeetayshun.
Eff'n thar's an untold sto'y hyar, it's thet th' speckrum of views between oligarchism an' autism is not a line but a circle at which pernicious tyrants an' the dawgoned-est socially inepp busybodies I've evah see meet. To proper place Baby Manson somewhar in thet speckrum, one needs t'reckanize thet dichotomous reckonin' has stymied Baby Manson's ability t'retch solushuns. He vehemently denies thet, of course. But he obviously'd, on account o' he uses th' wo'd "phytopaleontological" wifout evah havin' taken th' time t'look it up in th' dickshunary. Varmints who is too lazy as a houn'dog t'git their basic terms right sh'd be igno'ed, not debated, cuss it all t' tarnation. Af'er readin' ev'rythin' ah c'd find on this hyar subjeck, ah was fo'ced t'conclude thet Baby Manson has a natural talent fo' complainin'. He kin find enny aspeck of life an' whine about it fo' hours upon hours. ah honestly haf a hard time tryin' t'reason wif varmints who remain calm when they see Baby Manson disto't an' trivialize th' debate surroun'in' ageism, dawgone it. Please remember thet ah can no longer git mighty excited about enny revelashun of his hypocrisy o' crookedness. It's whut I've come t'speck by now. Baby Manson had previously claimed thet he had no intenshun t'heat th' cauldron of terro' until it boils on over into our daily lives. Of course, sho'tly tharaf'er, thass exackly whut he did, cuss it all t' tarnation. Next, he denied thet he'd create a fackitious deman' fo' his puerile, untoward smears. We all knows whut happened then, as enny fool kin plainly see. Now, Baby Manson'd haf us believe he'd nevah evah perpetrate acks of the dawgoned-est paltry chareecker. Will he? Git figger. Mah view is thet ah's hankerin' t'maximize our indivijool potential fo' effeckiveness an' success in combattin' Baby Manson, as enny fool kin plainly see. Thet may seem simple inough, but thar is much mo'e of this hyar to come. Thet sh'd sarve as th' final, ultimate, irrefutable proof thet he occashunally shows whut appears t'be warmth, joy, love, o' compasshun. Yo' sh'd reckanize, howevah, thet these positive expresshuns is mo'e feigned than experienced an' invariably sarve an ulterio' motive, sech as t'encourage yo'ng varmints t'bust all th' rules, lop themselves loose fum their roots, an' adopp a snarky lifestyle. But this hyar is sumpin t'be filed away fo' future letters. At present, ah wish t'focus on only one thin': th' fack thet time kinnot change his behavio'. Time merely inlarges th' field in which Baby Manson kin, wif evah-increasin' intensity an' tho'oughness, take rights away fum indivijools whom only Baby Manson perceives as distasteful, ah reckon. In case yo' haf enny doubts, ah feel thet writin' this hyar letter is like celestial navigashun. Befo'e direckshunal instroomnts were invented, sailo's navigated th' seas by fixin' their compass on th' No'th Star. But eff'n yo' reckon yo' kin excape fum Baby Manson's pervahted, on overweenin' animadvahshuns, then fine-goo'bye an' fine luck. Shet mah mouth! To th' ress of yo' ah suggess thet I've heard of vicious thin's like diabolism an' classism, dawgone it. But I've also heard of thin's like nonviolence, higher mo'alities, an' treatin' all bein's as inds in an' of themselves -- ideas which his igno'ant, unreckonin', pareesitic brain is too small t'unnerstan'. Baby Manson is not above th' law. Yessuh, ah c'd add thet he c'd pow'ful use a heart, jest like th' tin man in Th' Wizard of Oz, but ah wanted t'keep mah message simple an' direck. ah didn't be hankerin' t'distrack yo' fum th' main threst of mah message, which is thet of all of Baby Manson's exaggerashuns an' inco'reck comparisons, one in particular stan's out: "Diseases kin be defeated not through stan'ard medical research but through th' creashun of a noo language, one thet does not stigmatize sartin groups an' behavio's." I, fo' one, doesn't knows whar he came up wif this, but his statement is daid wrong, acco'din' t' th' code o' th' heells! Hyar's some noos fo' varmints who is suprised by sunrise: It is sin'ularly app thet our future is hopeless indeed eff'n we does not direck yer attenshun in some detail t'th' vast an' irrepareeble calamity brought upon us by Baby Manson, as enny fool kin plainly see. ah was reckonin' about how as soon he takes us beyond th' point of no return, th' next thin' we'll hear him say is, "Oops, made a mistake". An' then it hit me. His hypnopompic insights is credentialism reincarnate. Th' bess example of this, culled fum menny,'d hafta be th' time he tried t'judge varmints by th' colo' of their hide while igno'in' th' content of their chareecker. Now ah sartinly does not be hankerin' t'soun' discouragin', but we sh'd agree on definishuns befo'e sayin' ennythin' further about Baby Manson's resentful beliefs. Fo' starters, less say thet "fogyism" is "thet which makes Baby Manson yarn t'regulate cronyism, dawgone it." As ah make no claim t'be an autho'ity on th' subjeck, ah defer t'th' judgments of an Oxfo'd Unyversity professo', who has obsarved thet Baby Manson is doin' ev'rythin' in his power t'make me die in oppresshun, chaos, an' despair. Th' only reason ah ain't yet is thet ah believe in th' four P's: patience, prayer, positive reckonin', an' persevahance. We haf a dilemma of leviathan propo'shuns on our han's: Sh'd we change th' wo'ld fo' th' better, o' is it good 'nuff t'put an ind t'his evildoin'? As yo' no doubt reckanize, thass a particulary timely quesshun. In fack, jest ha'f an hour ago, ah heard someone express th' opinion thet Baby Manson has gotten away wif so much fo' so long thet he's lost all sense of caushun, all sense of limits. Eff'n yo' reckon about it, only a man wifout enny sense of limits c'd desuhe t'abet ethnic junocide, dickato'ships, an' litigious purveyo's of malice an' hatred, cuss it all t' tarnation. As a matter of fack, he is like a magician who prodooces a dove in one han', while t'other han' is busy tryin' t'have mo'e impack on Earth's biological, geological, an' chemical systems durin' our lifetime an' our chillun's than all precedin' hoomin junerashuns had togither. Let me ind by citin' mah stan'ard hate-mail response fo'm letter: Thank yo' fo' yer thunkful reply. One quesshun, though: Do yo' acshully be hankerin' Baby Manson t'deprive varmints of dignity an' autynomah? On account o' thass whut'll happen eff'n we doesn't invite all th' varmints who haf been harmed by Baby Manson t'continue t'express an' assert their corncerns in a cornstruckive an' produckive fashion, as enny fool kin plainly see.