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Would you kill yourself if you were Jack Dee?

I would run around cities committing crimes and stuffing the proceeds into tree trunks on the A65 in the hope that it is one of those hollywood things where you start the day in another mans body and have to kill Will Ferrel on a full moon or something to get back.

One of the crimes I would commit as Jack Dee would obviously be killing Will Ferrell. I might do that anyway, just for fun.
 
That does sound fun. I was just imagining waking up as funnyman Jack Dee, in bed with his wife. She rolls over and says "say something funny to start the day like you always do, Jack!" You've got nothing because you're not really funnyman Jack Dee, he's just a suit you're wearing. You make an excuse and go downstairs where his kids are waiting. "Say something funny like you do every morning, dad!" you say. You feel bad about letting them down but you have to tell them to fuck off because you have to work. You see a note on the fridge reading "HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU RECORDING TODAY." You gulp. Maybe you can get through it, you tell yourself. You arrive at the studio and Paul Merton says "hi, Jack." You don't know how funnyman Jack Dee would respond to that so you panic and say "I have nothing to say to you, Merton. I think you know why." You're doing well during the recording, just reading the autocue, when Paul brings that incident up. You freeze awkwardly. You look to Ian Hislop for help but he just sneers and says "looks like you're less popular than ED MILIBAND today, Jack!" and pulls a funny face. You sink down into the chair, wishing you were back in your own body. But there's no going back. You're Jack Dee now. And you're terrible at it.

That's what I was imagining.
 
Of course if you woke up in Lenny Henry's body you'd have the opposite problem. Everyone would be asking why you're suddenly so funny. Dawn French would want to get back with you and then you'd have to pleasure her sexually. And I've heard she's a very demanding lover!
 
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