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Where is the Random Thread of Randomness stuff that doesn't belong in other threads thread?

Was there ever a compelling or interesting "cold open" in the entire history of "Star Trek: The Next Generation"?

Seriously. It's on after classic 'Trek on H&I. Sometimes I wind up watching that while eating dinner and I'll usually stick around for the cold open on TNG.

Tonight's gem: We see a fairly bustling sick bay. Riker is being treated for accidentally rolling into a cactus in the arboretum while sexually harassing an ensign, Lt Barkley is certain he's dying when, in fact, he has a mild cold, and Data's cat is pregnant. That's it. That's the set up to get you to watch the rest of the episode. Oh, and the Data's cat's OB-GYN reveals that she is also pregnant, to which Data offers his support and experience as an expectant father to her husband.

Was this the one where Crusher devolves into a trout? Was all that foreshadowing/exposition to move the main plot along later? I just don't care. The only reason I even watched the entire cold open was I felt like there had to be some kind of "hook" or payoff to make me interested in what was to come. There was not.
 
I feel like around the year 2000, Cadillac forgot to tell its designers what a Cadillac should look like.

I mean, as someone who's been looking for a Ghostbuster ECTO-1, the hurdle is that, in them days Cadillac build coupes and sedans. You want a station wagon? Fuck you. Get Superior or Miller-Meteor or some other coachbuilder to convert a Sedan DeVille. You want an SUV? What's an SUV? You want a Cadillac pickup truck? Fuck you. Send me your address so I can have hired thugs burn your house down.

Obviously, now Cadillac makes pickups and SUVs. But they still make a few cars. That said, it's like no one designing Cadillacs has any idea what a Cadillac looks like. I'll give you a hint: Long hood. Long trunk. Defined passenger compartment. Menacing grille. Tall taillights. Pure luxurious Hell. Black. Maybe white or some kind of neutral metallic. About the only thing they seem to have remembered is the taillights.
 
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