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Where is the Random Thread of Randomness stuff that doesn't belong in other threads thread?

The machines have won. Cracked the screen on my phone. Bought the same identical phone. Showed up today. Figured all I'd have to do is move the SIM card. Nope. I've been fighting with this thing for I don't know how long. At this point I should just power down the phone because it is draining the battery faster than it can charge and run to the phone store to try to get them to set everything up.
 
Man -vs- Woman.

I'm generally glad to be a man. But I'm reading F. Scot Fitzgerald short stories. Offshore Pirate. Rags Martin-Jones & the Prince of Whales. And I gotta say, to win the heart of a fickle gal requires Barney Stinson level ploys, schemes, and gadgets, while if you're even a moderately attractive girl, being able to take off your underwear while you're at the dinner table without disturbing your clothes will win the game.
 
I think I finally sold off my driveway ornament, the first car I first bought on my own back in 1983. That thing saw some shit, multiple road trips, my ex crawling across the console to sit on my lap while I was driving nearly killing us both, packing people into the trunk to sneak them into no longer existent drive in theater, but it got to be too much for me to maintain. Had a high school kid stop by this evening saying he had the whole 500 bucks I was asking the last time he was over, he brought his dad with him to check it out, and his dad says "I like welding, and I have a trailer!"

So all fine and good. May she have a better second life.
 
"Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër?"
 
I wonder if she has something that will turn her sister from a hen into a rooster in... oh wait, nevermind. I need to see 9 to 5 again.
 
Oh my lord! There was an adorable puppy (probably more like a very young dog, but not a puppy anymore) on my porch this morning. Now it is napping in my house. I know it must belong to someone because it has clearly been held a lot. IT IS SO CUTE. wtf

I need to figure out who is looking for their dog. My brother has facebook, so he took a picture and posted it on his page. No one has responded yet. MAYBE I HAVE A NEW DOG?!! lol
 
Oh my lord! There was an adorable puppy (probably more like a very young dog, but not a puppy anymore) on my porch this morning. Now it is napping in my house. I know it must belong to someone because it has clearly been held a lot. IT IS SO CUTE. wtf

I need to figure out who is looking for their dog. My brother has facebook, so he took a picture and posted it on his page. No one has responded yet. MAYBE I HAVE A NEW DOG?!! lol
Tell it you have enough dongs (one dog)!
 
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LOOK AT HIM. omg
 
I STILL HAVE THE DOG.

Drove around trying to find someone outside to ask if they're missing a dog. Went to an old lady's house and asked her, she said she thinks the dog might belong to the people who live about halfway down this dirt road she pointed at. Went down the road, found the place. It was a trailer surrounded by garbage, srsly, garbage all the way to their gate. I was too scared, so went back home. A few minutes later decided I should go back and talk to the people. Just because they live in garbage doesn't mean they are evil. ANYWAY, I was more afraid they'd have a big scary dog somewhere, which they did, but it was inside, and so I knocked. A lady came out, and her big pitbull sniffed me, and I nearly pooped my pants, but it was okay. It wasn't her dog, so I didn't have to leave this sweet baby dog in a garbage dump.
 
I STILL HAVE THE DOG.

Drove around trying to find someone outside to ask if they're missing a dog. Went to an old lady's house and asked her, she said she thinks the dog might belong to the people who live about halfway down this dirt road she pointed at. Went down the road, found the place. It was a trailer surrounded by garbage, srsly, garbage all the way to their gate. I was too scared, so went back home. A few minutes later decided I should go back and talk to the people. Just because they live in garbage doesn't mean they are evil. ANYWAY, I was more afraid they'd have a big scary dog somewhere, which they did, but it was inside, and so I knocked. A lady came out, and her big pitbull sniffed me, and I nearly pooped my pants, but it was okay. It wasn't her dog, so I didn't have to leave this sweet baby dog in a garbage dump.
I think you really need to keep him.
 
Believe me, I do want to keep him. I can't stop thinking that the reason this dog is so sweet is because someone loves him. I think someone is worried he is missing. I will take good care of him, and if I find his people I will give him back.
 
Believe me, I do want to keep him. I can't stop thinking that the reason this dog is so sweet is because someone loves him. I think someone is worried he is missing. I will take good care of him, and if I find his people I will give him back.
Oh definitely try to find his people, that's the first order of business. But if it turns out they don't even care that he's missing that's on them. Dogs deserve a good home.
 
Is he chipped? You can take him to a vet or the local animal shelter and have them scan for a chip. I don't know if the shelter will try to keep him and I don't know if a vet will charge, but I'd see if he has a chip. And if he doesn't have a chip, I'd consider that maybe his previous owners didn't care enough about him to deserve him.
 
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