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A question

R

Riotgear

New member
So I'm having this conversation eh.. elsewhere and I though I'd cross-tro er...cross post it over here and see if you guys/girls would give it a think -

Would y'all say that "no means no"?
 
What is the question to which someone is saying no and what is the language spoken by the participants in the conversation?
 
eloisel said:
What is the question to which someone is saying no and what is the language spoken by the participants in the conversation?
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I was speaking in the vernacular. And I was assuming the people reading and responding would be doing so in english after the style of the question.
 
I mean no when I say no. However, keep in mind that I am a woman. I reserve the right to change my mind at any time and it would behoove you to not try and determine if I have changed my mind as I could change my mind again after I changed my mind the previous time.
 
For legality's sake no must mean no unequivocally and instantly. As we see way too many times, it doesn't take a conviction to ruin a mans life, just an accusation. I have personally had to screech to a halt a couple times when somebody abruptly changed her mind, sobered up or recovered from the rufies quicker than expected. It is their right to put on the brakes.
However any girl I am with who tries to play control games with "no means no" finds out pretty quick what my back looks like. I don't play with people that emotionally insecure.
 
eloisel said:
I mean no when I say no. However, keep in mind that I am a woman. I reserve the right to change my mind at any time and it would behoove you to not try and determine if I have changed my mind as I could change my mind again after I changed my mind the previous time.
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So are you saying no means no if you say it but you may be in a state of flux where although you've said no, you may have changed you mind to yes but if I try to make that determination you may change your mind back to no?

So no means no yes no?
 
Donovan said:
For legality's sake no must mean no unequivocally and instantly. As we see way too many times, it doesn't take a conviction to ruin a mans life, just an accusation. I have personally had to screech to a halt a couple times when somebody abruptly changed her mind, sobered up or recovered from the rufies quicker than expected. It is their right to put on the brakes.
However any girl I am with who tries to play control games with "no means no" finds out pretty quick what my back looks like. I don't play with people that emotionally insecure.
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Agreed. How about in the philosophical sense?
 
Riotgear said:
So are you saying no means no if you say it but you may be in a state of flux where although you've said no, you may have changed you mind to yes but if I try to make that determination you may change your mind back to no?

So no means no yes no?
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Example:
You communicate to me, "E, I have two blue hats adorned with peacock plumes. Would you like one?"

I might respond, "No. Thanks."

However, I might a few minutes thereafter look through my closet for something to wear and see an outfit I've not worn in awhile because it needs an accessory I do not possess. I might realize that a blue hat adorned with peacock plumes might be the very accessory that outfit needs. So, I get in touch with you as quickly as possible and change my answer to "Yes, I would like one of those blue hats adorned with peacock plumes. Thank you."

Now, while I might not be angry if you no longer have either blue hat with peacock plumes because you immediately contacted other persons who accepted your generous gifts, I might be disappointed. You wouldn't want to disappoint me. Would you?
 
eloisel said:
Example:
You communicate to me, "E, I have two blue hats adorned with peacock plumes. Would you like one?"

I might respond, "No. Thanks."

However, I might a few minutes thereafter look through my closet for something to wear and see an outfit I've not worn in awhile because it needs an accessory I do not possess. I might realize that a blue hat adorned with peacock plumes might be the very accessory that outfit needs. So, I get in touch with you as quickly as possible and change my answer to "Yes, I would like one of those blue hats adorned with peacock plumes. Thank you."

Now, while I might not be angry if you no longer have either blue hat with peacock plumes because you immediately contacted other persons who accepted your generous gifts, I might be disappointed. You wouldn't want to disappoint me. Would you?
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Heh. I like you.
 
Riotgear said:
Agreed. How about in the philosophical sense?
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Philosophically speaking, there is no point in any action, sexual or otherwise, that I don't reserve the right to abruptly end things if I so choose. I have in fact done so on a couple of occasions when I thought my partner was either not into it or had seriously irritated me in some fashion.

Therefore, I must assume that right to "hit the kill switch" exists for my partner as well. However a person who chooses the precise moment in heat of passion to shut it down only does so to deliver an important message, many times a final one, and must be aware that that's how it will be received.

The deeper unspoken question here is, "Is there a point past which a man cannot be held accountable for refusing to stop?" And the answer is no. I have occasionally been to the point where I really really REALLY didn't want to stop, and would have cast all dignity to the wind for the chance to finish, maybe even beg. I have been to the point where I forgot how to do math; I have forgotten my own name AND hers; I have even on one or two glorious occasions forgotten how to form words during sex; but I have never been to a point where I did not have control over my own body if the word "No, stop" had been issued. And anybody who says they got to such a point is probably not being truthful...hell, the very act of processing that kind of command at that moment is enough to distract a guy, and we all know what happens when guys get distracted.
 
Donovan said:
That's what I said. But it also means a hell of a lot more depending on when it's said.
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Do you think no has always meant no? Also do you think we interpret the rules governing so called 'no means no' differently depending on our gender?

When a woman say no means no does she mean the same thing as when a man says no means no?

It seems like eloisel says "no means no w/ option"
and you say "no means no w/ serious implication"

Correcting + or - a degree for eloisel's clever ability to sidestep that which is implied :)
 
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