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Annoying Phrases

Also: "Go ahead and..." Totally useless fucking filler phrase. The only purpose it serves, even faintly, is to make the one who uses it sound like a self-important douche.

"I'm gonna go ahead and rent you this apartment"

vs

"I'm gonna rent you this apartment"

The first one sounds like the person saying it is doing you a favor -- and, hell, maybe they are doing you a favor, a fuckswollen big ass favor -- but they kind of rob it of any good feeling it might otherwise inspire within you when they point it out with "go ahead and".

Or:

"I'm gonna need you to go ahead and..."

Quit stalling, bitch, and tell me what you need.

Speaking of that, people who tell you to do something by saying,

"You need to..."

No, cunt, *I* do not need to. You need me to.

There are few things I hate more than passive-aggressive tricks of phrasing, and I know 'em all.
 
I Love Cunt said:
I find it annoying that people cannot handle clock changes. I mean it should be done away with for sure-but seriously just fucking plan for it, don't act like "Ohhh I'm soooo tired because the sun looks different at a different time now"
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I find it annoying when people can't handle 24-hour time, but mostly only online. The internet is the first truly global nearly-instant comms medium, so when somebody says they're gonna email me by 5 o'clock two days from now, does that mean 1700 their time? 0500 my time? Specificity, motherfuckers, it ain't a word just 'cause it sounds fancy. Example: It is currently 2138 PST.
 
The Highwayman said:
I find it annoying when people can't handle 24-hour time, but mostly only online. The internet is the first truly global nearly-instant comms medium, so when somebody says they're gonna email me by 5 o'clock two days from now, does that mean 1700 their time? 0500 my time? Specificity, motherfuckers, it ain't a word just 'cause it sounds fancy. Example: It is currently 2138 PST.
Click to expand...
That late already? Its Pasta Salad Time and I should have eaten one by 1538.
 
That's a weirdly exact time for pasta. Pasta is good any time of day, IMO. Now I want a thing that probably doesn't exist: Breakfast pizza. Scrambled egg, sausage, bacon, black olive and green pepper on a hash brown crust with tabasco-infused marinara sauce.
 
Not a phrase, but a trope (and a phrase is really just a verbal trope, so this kinda fits...)

Black and white photo stills from television series or films that were never filmed or broadcast in black and white. Talking about stuff like Back To The Future or the Flintstones film adaptation with Dan Goodman as Fred Flintstone. (I'll set aside, for a moment, the utterly baffling casting decision that saw Rosie O'Donnell playing a grotesquely obese Betty Rubble.) Shit made in the '80s and '90s, that for some reason shows up on Google with, invariably, at least one image result being in monochrome, which the damn thing wasn't shot or shown in.

I can't complain about the motives behind this one because, simply put, I can't even fucking imagine what possible motives there might be behind it.
 
When someone posts a cute picture, follows it by "And I'm dying" "And we'r dying"
Or someone posts something inspirational and follows it by "And we're here for it" (There are only a few appropriate times this doesn't bother me)

Example this morning: Someone posted a picture of Steve Irwin's son taking a selfie with a turtle and then followed it with "And it made my day better"
I don't care.
Please don't tell me how you feel about the picture.
Just post the fucking picture.
 
I saw a cute video this morning of an armadillo playing with toys. BUT it was ruined by the caption, "Because you need to see an armadillo playing with toys"
Just show me the fucking video! Don't tell me I NEED to see it!

Also I am looking up recipes to use coconut milk and coffee and I see this, "The coconut recipe you didn't know you needed" WTF just give me the fucking recipe w/out telling me wtf I need or don't need.

THIS IS THE POST YOU KNOW YOU NEEDED
 
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