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Christmas Shopping For Beergoggles

Fuck Jack. He's so fucking stupid he can't think of an appropriate gift. What about you smegMATIC. What are you in the mood for giving this holiday season?
 
I'm gonna give the old lady the high hard one in a few minutes.

I got this bucket-o-twinkies for you but some fucking fat dude stole 'em. Sorry. I'll try and do better for your birthday.
 
Take video for Sarek and Jack to show them how heterosexuals have sex. Prove that sex does not have to involve oral/anal contact from beginning to end. That would be a big help for them.
 
It'd probably be hard for them to fully contemplate; Jack having only a brain stem and Sarek being hydrocephalic. It's a good think there's a market for handicap porn or Jack would lose his trailer to the loan company.
 
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