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Depression Descriptions

Last night there was nothing going on in my brain and I was looking at the MF and how I had "last reply" in most threads as usual, then I heard an American say "on accident" in something and thought of starting a thread asking why Americans say "on accident" rather than "by accident" even though I have no real evidence this is strictly an American thing.

And it broke me.

Because I realised nobody could possibly care about that thread. Nobody else but me on the entire planet would even think that was worth posting. Literally everyone else would have something better to do, ANYTHING better to do. Nobody could possibly care that some people say "on accident" rather than what I believe to be the correct "by accident." Nobody would give a fucking fuck like nobody has given a fucking fuck about 90% of the stuff I've posted here over the years and this is the only way I can interact with humans and it's never going to get better, only worse, oh so much worse, and my brain feels hollowed out and I'm sure I'm disappearing.

That's what I thought in that moment.

So yeah that was a low point.
 
I care. Sans Luke Skywalker pic.

It may not matter, but to me you are one of the most valuable people I interact with online. You always have a great take on things and your posts are funny and insightful. Reading your stuff always cheers me up when I'm feeling down. I know this is a rough and terrible time of year for you and I wish I could do something to help you out. Be well, my friend.
 
CaptainWacky said:
Last night there was nothing going on in my brain and I was looking at the MF and how I had "last reply" in most threads as usual, then I heard an American say "on accident" in something and thought of starting a thread asking why Americans say "on accident" rather than "by accident" even though I have no real evidence this is strictly an American thing.

And it broke me.

Because I realised nobody could possibly care about that thread. Nobody else but me on the entire planet would even think that was worth posting. Literally everyone else would have something better to do, ANYTHING better to do. Nobody could possibly care that some people say "on accident" rather than what I believe to be the correct "by accident." Nobody would give a fucking fuck like nobody has given a fucking fuck about 90% of the stuff I've posted here over the years and this is the only way I can interact with humans and it's never going to get better, only worse, oh so much worse, and my brain feels hollowed out and I'm sure I'm disappearing.

That's what I thought in that moment.

So yeah that was a low point.
Click to expand...

Have you seen my crappy posts? Made by 3 different accounts?
You are and will never be mundane.

A radio show I used to listen to would say "Slap in the ass" when I always thought it should be "on the ass" of course and it drove me crazy. By accident, on accident, now I will wonder what I say.
 
Mirah said:
Have you seen my crappy posts? Made by 3 different accounts?
You are and will never be mundane.

A radio show I used to listen to would say "Slap in the ass" when I always thought it should be "on the ass" of course and it drove me crazy. By accident, on accident, now I will wonder what I say.
Click to expand...
I say neither. I say accidentally.
 
I am still in bed. 11 am I guess it isn't too bad seeing as I was up until almost 3 am.
People are texting and want to talk and I don't have the energy.
 
I thouht I was over the hump.
Holidays are done
sun is out longer
weather getting a little better (What does that even mean? I love snow and rain)
Got a job
etc etc
and this week I feel like crap
really down
so I called someone and we will have a phone call once a week. I can't do this on my own. My own mind is betraying me and my body isn't happy. Or maybe I've betrayed it.
 
Yeah. I'm finek too. I'm going to bast myself with a finek. Sorry. Ndam dyslexic depression.
 
Really want to time travel and do my life over but am worried it would result in the Mine Field no longer existing in the new timeline.
 
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