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DREAM THREAD Part Pi.Pi!

The last time I needed tires for my car, the place I go said they didn't carry the stock tires anymore and said, if I wanted, they'd put on some "nice" tires. Now, from people who apparently know a thing or two about street racing, they are "nice" tires. But they're useless about 20% of the time in snow and 5% of the time in rain--in a totally random manner. Not my particular definition of "nice."

I mention this because this morning's dream, I was trying to get somewhere at night and the car kept spinning out on the freeway. At one point there was a car in the ditch and I made the mistake of looking at it too long. Before I knew it I was headed for the ditch and only barely saved it. Next thing I know, there are police cars everywhere and a roadblock. I'm trying to stop, but the car just keeps sliding--to the point where I finally get out to try and stop it Fred Flintstone-style. They decide not to charge me with anything--partly because they need me to give my speech in an hour or two(!) but they're confiscating the car. They've got a, like, Make-a-Wish thing where they need a Mustang. But if I do well at the event, they may let me keep it(!)

One of the officers may or may not be a Toastmaster and reminds me it's a big thing recognizing William Shatner and I'm supposed to introduce Shatner. We get there and it's a smaller conference room, decked out like, I dunno, the hearing chamber from the end of ST IV: The One With The Whales, and everyone's in TOS uniforms. So I'm trying to get into my uniform but I can't find the boots. Then I find them but realize they're not my boots, they're some ankle-high boots with a tear on the side of one--which will look silly with calf-length pants. Then I spot my boots *behind* my chair and am getting them on when I realize not only have I not looked at the speech I'm supposed to make, but I can't *find* it.
 
OK. This one was vivid and wild and I woke up a couple times during it and was able to come back to it.

I used to do this thing called "hashing." A group gets together in a bar for beers and there's a pair of "hares" who leave a trail of flour marks. After a head-start, everyone else--the "hounds"--tries to follow and catch the hares. There will generally be at least one "beer check" along the way--a stash of cached beer. Then the hounds have to stay until all the beer is gone. At the end there's more drinking and singing, jokes and general jackassery along the way. Sometimes there will be a themed hash--tutus, togas, red dress, zombie, clowns with knives, etc.

The group I used to hash with out in Oregon comes up with all kinds creative things. "The Urban Iditarod"--a team pulls a shopping cart through town (they had to stop/change the name because the real Iditarod people's lawyers got on them), the Gambler 500--a car rally were all the cars have to have been bought for less than $500.

Sooooo....

In my dream, they had some kind of balloon hash that I got roped into doing--everyone had pallets and picnic tables and other manner of platforms with assortments of balloons tied to them and the idea was for teams to fly to a destination on balloons. I wound up basically on a pick-up team and I was annoyed because I didn't have any blankets or even warm clothing and it was supposed to be a multi-day affair (Apparently eating and going to the bathroom while floating through the sky on a picnic table aren't a problem in dreams though), but also, apparently, there would be a "chase" team on the ground with a van full of supplies and we'd stop for periodic rests. We did manage to scrounge a large beach towel at least for the trip. And we added a third team member just before takeoff. Immediately on takeoff, our...vessel?...was off balance and I wound up hanging from the edge before scrambling back up and leveling it. Meanwhile, we managed to float right into a birch tree that we had to push off from. Luckily the narwhal/unicorn horn on the prow helped guide us through. Not much else to relate--just floating along, having adventures.
 
A few dreams last night, but only one segment that I retained: It's a big family gathering like Thanksgiving, back at the parents' farm. But somehow I've gotten into some fiberglass bits and if I don't pick them off, they'll work their way under my skin and give me a horrible rash. Problem is that they're everywhere and they're statically charged, so they keep popping back on me as I try to pick them off. And I don't want them getting on anyone else either. The kitchen is piled high with plates of leftovers and they don't want me in there with the trash can so they send me outside. I carefully grab something to eat...and immediately slip in some mud that is the color of dogshit and clings to my boot in a 4" deep clump.
 
A fairly interesting one tonight. I'll share as much as I remember: I'm in some kind of studio/TV executive's office or something. A room designed for humans. "They" have decided to bring back roller derby and they've got this "authentic" track in the room--only it's about the size of a dance floor in a bar. Nonetheless "we" are making the best of skating around it. Then a couple punk-looking girls--one with a crewcut, the other more normal looking--maybe with pink hair or something--come in wearing these sort of cheerleader sweaters and skirts. They fill out the sweaters very nicely, if you know what I mean. I'm looking forward to manhandling them a little as we skate around the track.

Aw crap. I lost most of the rest of the dream. It winds up with me out on a dirt road with a pickup with some AR15 carbines in the front seat. I get one out to check it but I realized "they" are close enough to hear what's going on, so if I stick the clip in and chamber a round "they'll" know about them. Although apparently at this point my brain completely forgot what an AR15 looked like, because it looked more like a long barreled 1911 .45--only somehow you could fit an AR15 clip in the magazine well. (It extended well below the pistol grip when loaded).
 
God DAMN it. For those of you keeping score at home, I hardly EVER get to have sex in my dreams. So tonight I'm fooling around with an insanely hot girl in the bathroom and we're heading off to the bedroom when her 5-7 year old daughter has gotten out of bed to see what is going on. (And said daughter was created by my sadistic subconscious brain right at that moment to deny me happiness.)
 
Me, my brother, and his most recent girlfriend are with some truck company--delivery, snow plowing, towing, I dunno. If you don't pull out of the lot by the dispatch time, you can't go and you get in trouble--I mean, like, if you're a second late, they won't let you out. We've got this clunker truck and it's hit or miss to get it running. I missed my time by a second or two. Next time my brother is driving and it looks like we might make it. We get it going but they're telling me and the girlfriend that it is too late but my brother can't hear over the engine, so we're trying to get him out. He starts to back out--but then stops to take a car door that was sitting in the cab of the truck and put it in the garage. During that time they come out and shut the truck down. I just start bawling my eyes out on the steps. I don't know if it was a show to try to keep us from getting in as much trouble or I was genuinely that upset/frustrated at failing.
 
I just realized I've started having a (fairly mundane) recurring dream: There's some steak place that I like, but it's always packed. It's down a flight of stairs and the first couple time I had this dream I had to go down to see how long the wait list was. One time I met a couple girls there and made some small talk before leaving. Lately the place is so packed that people are waiting at the top of the stairs. The last couple times one of the girls has been sitting on the edge of one of those pillars malls, etc have to support the entryway awning. She's like, a goth hippie. Jet black kind of dredd-y hair, pale skin, black and white dress--and stubbly legs. Tonight she thought I was cute and flirted with me. Since I might as well, I flirted back. Then I woke up enough to realize this was a dream I've had for several days now.

Then there was a dream that I was walking somewhere. Of course a bus got in the way where I wanted to go. And then one of those cart/tractor things like they use to haul luggage out to airplanes was trying to drive were the bus was, only the other direction. So the bus gave the cart a good nudge to try and bully him out of the way. The cart driver decided not to take it so he got right up against the bus' front bumper and tried to push it. The bus driver pushed back and the cart keeled over into a ditch along the road, made by some construction crew. I was like "geez, I'd better get going before this traffic becomes a real clusterfuck, but then I felt guilty because other people were going over to help the cart driver out of the ditch. So I loitered a bit until they got him out and then got going.
 
There were more phases to this dream that I don't remember, but at one point I was taking some kind of art class about "Star Trek" and Marvel movie heroes. To graduate you had to present your portfolio of Star Trek art and 3 drawings of classmates as Marvel characters. I cheated and did a self-portrait as Captain America for one of them.

And I felt bad because after it was too late to do anything about it, I realized I'd totally half-assed my portfolio.
 
I had a creepy dream that someone I know put a hit out on his son. And when I found out-I was in the car with the father, the hitman, and the target.
I started going into a rage. And then I woke up.

The creepy part is in real life this person's son did die in an automobile accident.

I should avoid eating whatever it is I ate that caused me to have that sort of dream. I was pretty disturbed when I woke up.
 
I had a series of fairly mundane disjointed dreams this morning. Woke up at 4:19 with insomnia. Worrying about getting old, my dog getting old, my career, and my investments. Used my old fall-back of putting it all in writing to get it out of my head and got to sleep around 5:30. But it didn't feel like it. Because the dreams started with a dream about not being able to get back to sleep and gradually moved away from that. They eventually moved to a point where something happened that I knew couldn't have happened (but nothing particularly exciting--just like when the alarm goes off and you shut it off without waking up and dream you're getting up). So by the time the alarm *did* go off for me, I didn't feel like I'd gotten a lot of sleep.
 
I had a couple of quick nightmares while dozing off in my chair last night.

In one, I was cooking some food in the kitchen of my childhood home. In the dream I wasn't a child, maybe a younger adult or possibly my current age. Something went wrong with one of the dishes, and then I turned around and my parents were there, and my mother was angrily scraping all the food I was preparing out of their pans & bowls and dumping it into strange places like the breadbox. It seemed unfair because only one small part of the meal went wrong. So I started yelling, STOP WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS but it felt like only air was coming out. At that point I woke up and my throat felt a little sore, so I'm not sure if I actually yelled that in my sleep or if I tried but only air came out for real.

A little while later I dropped off again, and I was in my childhood bedroom, and suddenly a big stocky man wearing a vest and a bowler pushed into my room and closed the door behind him and approached me menacingly. I instantly thought he was there to either kill me or rape me, and I started scrambling to escape. At that point I woke up, and I was kicking my feet under my desk, and I had kicked the cabinet next to it and knocked a couple of things off.

After that I never really went to bed. So I'll be sleepy all through work tonight. AGAIN.
 
Aw man, I had some great ones last night--continuing and transitioning and developing--and I still managed to forget them until now. And now they're gone, but only the vaguest figments.
 
I had some kind of X-Files related dream where people were melting because they'd been exposed to the "black oil" from the X-Files (REMEMBER THAT) and Mulder and Scully were talking about it and both realised they'd been exposed to it and would die soon. I might have been Mulder.
 
Dear CaptainWacky,
Last night or this morning I had a dream and you were in it! And then in that dream I woke up and went to write about it here, but now I am waking up and writing about it here. I don't know what is real anymore.

We were in chat and then instead of being in chat you were at my house! But I think we must have been teenagers because then my mom came home-I introduced you two. She was drunk and she wanted to greet you with a kiss on your forehead and I pulled her away and yelled, "MOM! Boundaries!"
And then we went back to watching the show we were watching and commenting outloud as if we were still in chat.
I don't know what show we were watching though.
 
And then seeing as how I don't know what you look like-I was at work today and saw the person that helps us with freight and is really nice and I enjoy talking to him and I said, "Ooooooh, he was in my dream last night"
But his name was definitely CaptainWacky's twitter handle name-because I recall in my dream wondering how I would introduce you to my mom and not to accidently say "CaptainWacky"

[/justmakingthingsmoreawkward]
 
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