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DREAM THREAD Part Pi.Pi!

Not only am I consistently unable to operate a firearm in dreams, sex is always cockblocked. Usually I'll at least get some nudity and then the phone will ring or someone will be at the door or something that interrupts, but last night...

I don't remember any of the details of the dream itself, but a couple of us were supposed to be going somewhere. I may have been a third wheel, I don't remember, but someone was getting ready in the house and a cute female friend was outside and needed to change.

I nobly looked the other direction to give her privacy--and discretely shifted around until I was able to scope out her reflection in the picture window of the house. For some reason, at this point she was dressed in Renaissance Faire garb--big long peasant dress with a corset thing (but not a sexy dress and corset, thoroughly G-rated). And she's sitting on a horse. Then, instead of changing into appropriate clothes, she proceeds to do tricks on the back of the horse--standing on its back, etc.
 
The other night I dreamed I was playing call of duty against four women, we were all real people in the game, at first my bullets were working, then they stopped working, when the women realised the game was broken they just decided to all give me BJs instead.

which was nice.
 
Usually my dreams are just before I wake up--so like, around 5-6am. Or I only remember the dream from just before I wake up. Today I remembered a dream from around 3am.

I was back in rural Wisconsin, where I grew up, and there was this huge problem of different Muslim sects, engaging in jihad against each other. This was probably brought on by a violent thunderstorm. I woke up from a thunderclap that sounded like a bomb going off. (The Dog came in and slept on the bed with me until the storm died down a bit and she almost never sleeps on the bed with me. As soon as I go to bed, she decides to go out to the living room couch.)
 
Today I dreamed that The Cat was puking on my bed at 4:30am and that the puke seeped, like Alien blood, all the way through to the mattress cover.

Oh, wait. That actually happened. :/
 
Oh man, last night was the jackpot of trippy dreams. Unfortunately I forgot most of them, but there were at least 4 and I don't think they were really related in any way. In one my parents were still alive and out on the farm. Something odd was going on. That's about all I remember of that one.

In another one I was on some kind of "Under Siege" ocean liner. Although it was apparently on dry ground--maybe in shredded newspapers, I don't remember. I escaped through one of the breaches in the hull--so there was a Titanic thing going on too. Got together with some people to go back and take out the terrorists (or whatever). As in all dreams, I was useless. We were in, like a gun shop, and everyone was getting armed. But all the guns were in cases and every pistol case I grabbed turned out to have a scope or some other useless thing in it. Eventually they couldn't wait for me any longer so I just went emptyhanded.
 
I remember a dream from a few nights ago. I was in a hotel room and there were naked bitches draped all over me. Seriously all over me, like it was a dogpile of naked broads. Then the phone rings -- I can't answer it 'cause I'm buried in bitches, so one of them answers it and says it's Home Depot and they want to buy all the bitches to make a building out of. I tell her it's no sale, the naked broads are my bedsheets. I tell 'em they have to double that and they only get half the broads. I didn't get their answer before my alarm went off and woke me up.
 
Funny you should say that. I just remembered another of the dreams from yesterday. It was fairly mundane but had a celebrity. I met Kelsey Grammer and for some reason I kept going on about how much I loved "Down Periscope" even though he was clearly not interested.
 
It's really a nice little underappreciated film. It respects the military and while it has some hokey bits (like "Sparky" doing odd/painful things to get a radio signal (which, as I type this, is less hokey than you'd think)) it's got a nice story and a good message--make the best of what you've got and never retreat, never surrender.
 
Lots of weird dreams today too but only one bit I remember. I was doing...something...with some slightly sketchy character and afterwards, as I'm walking away "CRACK!" I'm thumped on the top of the head with a pretty good-sized stone. Hurt like a bastard and when I felt my scalp I could feel the indentation/laceration where the stone had hit. Is that supposed to happen in dreams? But I don't see the guy so there's nothing I can do so I continue to walk away. Then I hear something and turn around and see a couple kids on a roof, throwing rocks at people so I start running at them, about to fuck some shit up or at least scare the crap out of them. I may or may not be running on rooftops at this point.

When I was awake enough, I felt my scalp where the "rock" had hit it, wondering if I'd done something that caused this in the dream, but sure enough it's fine. So then I pop my head outside to check on The Dog. She likes to go outside in the morning and sit in a raised flowerbed and guard the neighborhood. The neighbors sold their house and are moving out. One time I caught their boys throwing rocks at her--just kids being stupid and they stopped when I gave them a talking to--and I wondered if I had some kind of psychic link to her and they'd thrown a rock at her for old times sake, but there were no cars in the driveway and she was fine.
 
Last night I had a dream that I started a new job and at the training there was a buffet and the moms were invited. Anyway I filled my plate up, and then I couldn't find where my friends were sitting, so I sat my plate down at an empty spot, went back for silverware and I couldn't find my plate.

Part of this dream is true. I am going to training today.
 
Mildly interesting dream this morning: I was trying to buy a house and juggling the logistics. I had to be at a closing but I'd managed to pack my checkbook so I couldn't do it. I'd also packed my Realtor's contact info so I couldn't call her. As I was trying to make it to the closing I ran into my old roommate/landlord from a decade ago. She's a soup sandwich and pretty soon she said she needed $200 from me. I later find out Portland police wrote her a $200 ticket for jaywalking because she was coming to talk to me. Someone else also needed $200 from me that I was initially going to pay but, upon consideration, the reason sounded sketchy.

About that time a guy with a clipboard and stethoscope comes up to me and starts jabbering at me in Spanish. Eventually he says "I only speak Spanish" and a couple other things in English that tip me off that he's up to something. Turns out he's part of a private conscription company that press-gangs dupes into some kind of ...organization? I think I managed to dodge it, but a lot of people were in it. Then I realize the "person" in charge is, like, an anthropomorphic cereal box or something--like Mr. Potatohead or the "Let's go out to the lobby.." dancing candy bars. So I kick his ass--utterly destroy him. Then I pick him up like Conan the Barbarian or something and body slam him down in front of all his conscripts. They realize they're now free and leave.

Then I wake up.
 
I had a dream where I was sleeping in my teenage bed, in a shop. There was a big display of comic books at the end of my bed. I witnessed Tomtrek steal a Transformers comic (it came with a free Transformer) and wondered if the shopkeeper saw him. Then I became worried that the shopkeeper would get angry at me for sleeping in his shop, but I noticed one of those mirrors they have in shops and realised he could see me the whole time. I came the conclusion that it was one of those shops where they let people sleep in beds.
 
Can you dream in 3rd person/solely as a detached viewer?

This morning's dream was like some sci fi version of the old "Hawaii 5-O." Someone was trying to offload a freighter to a Oahu military base for nefarious reasons. They had human hirelings who thought it was drug smuggling or gun running or something, but they were going to take over the world or take over human bodies or something.

But there was a mishap with unloading and a crane capsized another ship at the military base so they had to divert to a commercial pier. The Big Bad called an all hands meeting to adjust The Plan. At this point I was apparently an infiltrator and I was going to use the opportunity to sneak off and see if I could free my friends (one of which was apparently the highlander, Jamie McCrimmon from old "Dr. Who," when "base under siege" stories reigned supreme) who were hiding out.

Meanwhile there was a power struggle going on with the aliens and Heath Ledger Joker was going to depose Star Wars Peter Cushing. So he was following Cushing around while Cushing walked really quickly to go find his enforcer (who, in retrospect, had some Darth Vader elements if they'd had CGI to make huge cyborg villains back in the 1970s). Meanwhile they found a couple hobos camping in the compound and Peter Cushing told them to get out while they could. Then the Joker came along to reinforce that (and at this point I was maybe The Joker, but still undercover, trying to foil the invasion) and they ran off. But they were spotted and rounded up. I tried to stop them being killed/assimilated, but they had machine pistols so the gangsters thought they'd gotten into the armory.

About that point I woke up for the day.
 
I've been dreaming a lot because I've been sleeping a lot because I took a job involving physical labor and I'm far too old for such things so I need sleep to keep my body from falling apart.

Anyhow, last night I was awakened by a sound--loud and a little bit mechanical but still possibly within the scope of being a dog vocalization. Or possibly I dreamed a sound that woke me up. The Dog was yawning and sluggish, so I suspect she didn't make it, but The Cat was acting skittish so I feel like it was real (although she may have just wanted food). Anyhow, I had to get up to feed The Cat, and The Dog wanted to go out--this was all around 6:30. Later I heard some more definitely mechanical noises so maybe there was a garbage truck nearby or someone's car was getting repossessed or something. Or I dreamed these noises to explain the first noise.

Anyway, on to the *real* dreams: First dream, I was living in Hawaii but got stuck in Wisconsin, on the old farm for a long time. So my family came out to visit me and I put them up in Hawaii. (My Mom & Dad are both dead but that doesn't seem to bother dreams.) It was mostly boring family stuff with the occasional odd dream tidbit thrown in like my brother wearing something that looked a bit like Max Headroom's white dinner jacket at one point. But the place kept growing. By the end it was a palatial 3 floors and new things kept popping up. For some reason I had 2 bicycles, for example. But I wanted to get them out to see Hawaii (and because they were doing things like deciding they needed to get me something from GameStop(!) but for some reason I couldn't figure what closet my pants were in.

The place was probably a bit of a mashup of me having a bigger place here in Kentucky than I did in Oregon and a townhouse I lived in when I was in the Marines. That place was like if NBC had done a sitcom about young Marine officers. When one would get assigned to a new duty station, they'd bring in a fresh offcier. It was the Lieutenant House. There were 2 rows of townhouses with a drive between them. We were in the less expensive ones facing the street, but the other row was right on the beach. Even so, you know how apartments, you have a key to the pool? I had a key to the Pacific Ocean. I'd come home from work, park my car, pull on a wetsuit in the garage, grab my board, and go surfing. 1/2 level above the garage was the living room with a gas fireplace and cathedral ceilings with floor to ceiling windows on 1 side. Was the master bedroom down there? I forget. 1/2 level above that was the kitchen and a 1/2 bath (with a balcony looking over the living room). 1/2 level above that was the bedrooms and the other bathroom--again with a balcony looking down onto the living room.

It was also probably a bit an old hotel I was put up in for an exercise in Thailand with a dash of the bachelor officers' quarters at Pearl Harbor thrown in. And I think at the start of the dream it was a rundown place and I had roommates. I think I've had dreams there before.

*****

Next and last memorable dream was far less defined. I was part of a group being driven somewhere in the backs of big military trucks and for some reason I was wearing some kind of homemade Adam West Batman getup and we were stopped and I needed to use my Bat-slinghot to take care of some problem. But there was confusion and the driver kept throwing me these little plastic things that were apparently modular slingshots. But I woke up before anyone could figure out how to assemble one. The rest of the people on the truck were not impressed with me.
 
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