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Gagh has memorised every line from the British comedy "Desmond's"

CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
"The line 'it's a black TING!" appeared 48 times," he revealed in an interview with Closer Magazine.

Porkpie was unavailable for comment.
 
FACT: The audition reel that Dominic Keating submitted to get the role of Malcom Reed on Enterprise consisted entirely of scenes from DESMOND.
 
Gagh is the only person who knows all the lyrcis of the Desmond's theme song. "Everyone who performed on it has since died," he explained, seriously.
 
"Can you believe there were only twelve episodes of the Pork Pie spin off series?" Gagh asked model Kate Upton.

"Yes, that sounds about right, to be honest," she replied. "Now get out of my fridge."

"Ghostbusters reference!" said Gagh.

"Seriously I'm going to call the police," said Kate.
 
"I can't think of anymore Desmond's facts," said Gagh, sadly, still in Kate Upton's fridge.

"I guess we could have sex then..." said Kate, starting to take off her bra.

"Or I could tell you my favourite Sugababes line-up!" said Gagh.

"If you like," she sighed, putting her bra back on.
 
"You know, I'm never going to return to the Mine Field, no matter how many times Wacky bumps this thread," Gagh explained.

"I don't care, I just want in my fucking fridge," said Kate Upton. "I've got whale meat in there!"

"Tell you what, I'll get out on the night of SummerSlam," said Gagh, not unkindly. "I'm fashioning a canoe!"

"Fine," she said. "I'll use of the other seventeen fridges in my mansion until then..."
 
"Hey, has that SummerFest thing been yet?" asked Kate Upton, opening her fridge. But it was empty. No Gagh.

"He isn't there anymore," said C3PO, standing behind Upton.

"Where?" she asked, sadly. "Where did he go?"

"Deeper," said 3PO. "Deeper than any man has ever gone inside a fridge before. Who knows where he came out. Who could ever say."

"I love him, in a way," she said.

"You haven't checked on him since July!" said 3PO.

"I had other fridges to attend to," she said, bitterly, recalling the battle with the Dread Worm of Fridge #8. It had taken so much from her, but in the end she had smothered it to death with her tits.

"Do you want me to start filling this empty fridge with whale meat, then?" asked 3PO.

"No," said Upton. "Leave it empty. Leave it free, for Gagh. If he should ever return."

"That fridge will stand empty for all eternity," warned 3PO.

"Perhaps," said Upton. "But there are always...possibilities. Now I'm going to go frig myself off to Thundercats porn, do not disturb me."

"Of course not, ma'am!" said 3PO, saluting. He left her. She stared at the fridge for a long moment.

"Yes," she said at last. "Possibilities..."
 
Kate Upton awoke in bed. She ran down the stairs in the dark. She didn't know why. She just...had a feeling. She went to the Gagh fridge. She opened the door. But it was still empty. She sighed. Just a dream.

She turned around to go back to bed and found Gagh standing in front of her.

"Sorry I'm late," he said.

They made love right there on the kitchen floor without saying a word.

C3PO watched the entire time.
 
"They don't suspect a thing," said the person pretending to be C3PO to former WWE Superstar Faarooq. "Soon I shall strike. I will show them no mercy."

"That was a good game on N64," said Faarooq. "DAMN!" he added.

"Yes," said 3PO, peeling off his robot suit to reveal actor ANTHONY DANIELS underneath. "They have no idea that 3PO is a fictional character played by me...and soon all of Kate Upton's whale meat will be mine."

"Sorry, got to go, Crash Holly's ghost stole one of my beers," said Faarooq.
 
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