Gems from Twitter

[Dr Dave]

Samantha Cristoforetti, ISS Astronaut, Wears 'Star Trek' Uniform In Space

hell yeah!

 

[Cassie]

InfoSec Taylor Swift ‏@SwiftOnSecurity 1h1 hour ago

mfw I realized jet fuel can't melt steel beams

 

[SAUSAGEMAN]

 

[Cassie]

Florida Woman ‏@_Flor1daWoman 12m12 minutes ago

Florida Woman Files Motion to "Fuck This Court and Everything That it Stands For" Fuck This Court …


YES I FEEL YOUR RAGE FLORIDA WOMAN

 

[CaptainWacky]

I can't be bothered reading all that but yeah fuck the court.

 

[Cassie]

Famous Scotty Tonga ‏@ScottyTonga 51m51 minutes ago

there's a subforum specifically to celebrate the lives of adult erotic doll owners who have passed away The Doll Forum ? View forum - In Memoriam …

IT'S A REAL FORUM.

 

[SAUSAGEMAN]

 

[Dr Dave]

That NBC!

 

[CaptainWacky]

I'd fuck Isabelle every day.

 

[Cassie]

Charlie Brooker retweeted
Dan Whitehead ‏@danwnews May 1 Paddington, London

Man outside Lindo Wing tells me these #RoyalBaby paintings aren't for sale. Such a shame

 

[Fuddlemiff]

He's captured her twiglike shins admirably.

 

[CaptainWacky]

And the fact she has a dog for a foot.

 

[Cassie]

Stock Porn Comments ‏@PornComnents 30m

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

!

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Eww. You just know he's done that to some unsuspecting houseguests.

 

[Cassie]

NYPD 83rd Precinct ‏@NYPD83Pct May 5

Nobody knows who dumped a casket with no body in it. Investigation is ongoing 2 find the people responsible. Not Cool

 

[CaptainWacky]

He is Risen.

 

[Dr Dave]

Uh oh!

 

[Cassie]

cait ‏@chaeronaea 4h4 hours ago

THIS IS SO DUMB IM SCREECHING

cait ‏@chaeronaea 3h3 hours ago

bye

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Obviously developed by a closet queen.