Gems from Twitter

[CaptainWacky]

That's some bad weed.

 

[Dr Dave]

We also have a lot of pot here, not Jeb Bush's though.

 

[Dr Dave]

Portland OR Alerts ‏@pdxalerts 8h8 hours ago

Portland - Police to I-84 West at I-205 for a hazard - report of a man dressed in camouflage walking his dog on the freeway #pdxtraffic

When you can't find the lawn...

Portland OR Alerts ‏@pdxalerts 10h10 hours ago

Portland-Police to 57th/Fremont -caller reporting he was just attacked w/ a baseball bat, also says he was stabbed earlier in Vancouver

World Series, Vanouver (WA) style.

 

[Dr Dave]

Portland OR Alerts ‏@pdxalerts 19h19 hours ago

Portland: police enroute to SE 80th/Main, caller reports wife just tried to kill him by smothering him with a mattress.

That's a new one.

 

[Dr Dave]

Portland OR Alerts ‏@pdxalerts Oct 26

Vancouver-police out in the area of 13th/King (aka #TentCity) - report of 3 males being chased through the streets by a guy armed w/ a pipe

Better then a pipe bomb, I guess.

Portland OR Alerts ‏@pdxalerts Oct 25

Portland: police responding to midspan Morrison Bridge for report of female on bicycle falling off and running into curbs #pdxtraffic

Kids, don't bike drunk. Take the bus!

 

[Cassie]

Salon.com ‏@Salon 2h2 hours ago

I'm a chronic masturbator: "I can hardly be left alone on a comfortable piece of furniture"

 

[CaptainWacky]

Who can!

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

I HEARD DAT SISTAH

 

[Cassie]

Hey Mandy, Stu again, sorry just a reminder that we have a new OFFICIAL account over @luxlisbonmusic so will probably close this one quite soon. If you fancy catching up with us there that'd be cool, and we'll also send you 10 free songs as a thankyou by DM when you follow us - so see you over at @luxlisbonmusic


OMG STU.

 

[CaptainWacky]

They literally can't even give their songs away.

 

[Cassie]

The Beliebers and the Directioners are at WAR https://twitter.com/hashtag/JustinHatesHisFansParty?src=tren

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

YOU MADE ME CLICK ON PEREZ HILTON'S SITE!

 

[CaptainWacky]

IT WAS ALL ARIANA'S FAULT.

 

[CaptainWacky]

https://twitter.com/Seinfeld2000/status/663398271205965824

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

https://twitter.com/DangerMindsBlog/status/665269019604336640

 

[Fuddlemiff]

If he actually becomes president we're all gonna have to break off diplomatic relations.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

You wanna see refugees? If Trump or Ben Carson (or any of the GOP lot) get elected, Canada and every English-speaking nation will be overrun with Yanks.

(Hell, every immigrant for whom English is a second language will be leaving even sooner, some not of their own choice)

 

[CaptainWacky]

If only he'd lost that hair vs hair match with Vince McMahon.

 

[Cassie]

Gay Rodney Retweeted
Erin Gloria Ryan ‏@morninggloria 57m57 minutes ago

what the hell

 

[Cassie]

William Gibson Retweeted
BBC News (World) ‏@BBCWorld 3h3 hours ago

The fight for Phuc Dat Bich to use his real name on Facebook Phuc Dat Bich: Australian with 'misleading' name thanks supporters - BBC News