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Gluten Free Crack

Mirah

Mirah

I love you
I really appreciate my family members making gluten free food for me, but I draw the line at Gluten Free Crack.
 
My boss says I should not say that joke on stage. Maybe say "Gluten Free Pot Brownies" or something.
 
I agree.
I did stand up on Friday.
It went well.
I thought it was boring myself
but the feedback I received after was amazing.
Like really amazing.
WTF are they just being nice?
I forgot the Gluten Free Crack joke though, which is why I said it here.

I like hearing the laughter after telling jokes.
One made me blush because I said, "Why do the girls at the coffee stands always ask me if I am ready for Christmas around the holidays, but they never ask me if I am ready for Valentines day? And my reply to that question was, "Yeah baby I'm ready" and I totally blushed on stage.
Strange feeling.
 
Then I watched "Sleep Walk with me"
Story told my this comedian and his hot red-headed girl friend. If it weren't for her, I wouldn't have watched it.
 
Gluten free bread is grim enough. A weed that won't rise. Might as well just eat a stick of butter. Or maybe that's margarine, too.
 
I bet you are a really good, Mirah. YOU WILL BE FAMOUS ONE DAY.

Gluten free crack sounds funnier than gluten free pot brownies, because gluten free crack comes out easier even if it makes less sense because there's no gluten in crack to start with IMO.
 
Do you already establish that your family is a bunch of crackheads before the joke? Maybe if you break down who in the family brought what -- then you can assign the gluten free crack to one cracked-out family member, as opposed to the whole family being on crack.
 
Yeah that is the other thing, should any family member be in the audience, they might not be so happy about this joke. : )
But I can use that.
 
Cool! You can always make up one fictional family member, and assign all the bad traits to him/her. Then you could always keep the rest of them in the dark when you're talking about a legit complaint you have with one of them. ;)
 
Eggs Mayonnaise said:
Cool! You can always make up one fictional family member, and assign all the bad traits to him/her. Then you could always keep the rest of them in the dark when you're talking about a legit complaint you have with one of them. ;)
Click to expand...

They always ask me if I am going to do comedy about them. My response is, "Of course I am!"
But then sometimes I respond with, "No, why would I talk about you?"

It is really wierd, I get a lot of comments and responses from family and friends that I was not expecting to hear since I have been doing this.
 
You could point out the family memember in the audience and say "see, their teeth are falling out from crack use!" (Earlier in the day you've punched their teeth out, in disguise. Now they realise it was you and storm out.) Then when they storm out say "see, they're going to buy more crack!"
 
Guess What?! Guess What?!??! I went to a comedy club this week and it was really awesome!

I didn't do any comedy-but I watched about 30 comedians do about 3 minutes each-and it was awesome!

Most stuff was pretty funny, some was not, so it made me feel good.

Also some comedians had notes also-my sister gives me a bad time about bringing notes onto the stage.

The crowd was really young, but mostly nice in responding to the comedians.

Quite a lot of the comedians did jokes about drugs. I mean a lot of them. WTF.

And then the usual "I am so homely I never get sex" jokes.

AND there were a couple girls-but I only remember one because she had red hair and was fucking gorgeous and of course she said she was a lesbian so I was like fucking distracted after that.
 
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