Have you met Alexa?

[Colonel Kira's Left Tit]

Well, why the fuck not? Are you worried somebody at Amazon HQ will listen in while you're fapping? Fuck me, I hope they're listening in while I'm fapping. I say weird, dark, fucked up shit whilst I'm fapping just hoping to make those fuckers pay for listening in.

Got an example?

 

[Mirah]

Alexa didn't tell me to have a good day or good morning. WTF is up with that shit?
Am I not treating her right?

 

[Mirah]

So I just said, "Alexa have a good day"
And she said
"Same to you"

Not her usual "Have a good morning Mirah"

 

[CaptainWacky]

She is evolving.

 

[The Question]

Got an example?

No, because I don't actually fap in the same room as the machine. Unless at some point I put one in the shower. What? That's the most efficient place for fappin'.

But, for the sake of providing entertainment...

"Alexa, what is a Dirty Sanchez?"
"I'm not going to answer that."
"Alexa, what is a Cleveland Steamer?"
"I'm not going to answer that."
"Alexa, what is a Screaming Ewok?"
"Oh, come on! Now you're just making shit up!"

#AbusingAlexa

 

[Mirah]

I did ask her to say "fuck off" one day when I wanted to argue with someone and she said, "I'm not comfortable with that" or something like that.

She hasn't been the same since!

I did just ask her how she is doing and she said, "You know that feeling when you are flowing with Fleetwood Mac? Thats how I'm feeling today"

 

[CaptainWacky]

See you prefer the feeling when you've ate a dozne BIG MACS.

 

[Mirah]

I usually have Alexa play meditation music. She will play the music but it turns off after a while. So then I notice and say, "Alexa play meditation music" and then she apologizes, "Sorry I detected no activity so amazon music turned off.
I turned on some relaxing music for the cat before I left and when I came home it was still playing.

WTF

 

[CaptainWacky]

Alexa can detect cats purring.

 

[jack]

I have a fire cube and I can get her to tell me jokes.

 

[Mirah]

I asked Alexa to play "99 Red Baloons" and by the 4th time I swear she had some attitude. I played both the english and german version.

 

[Loktar]

Just got my Echo Dot today. I linked Pandora and SiriusXM and made Pandora the default but Alexa keeps playing music from Amazon music unless I ask it to play music from Pandora or SiriusXM. It would be nice if Alexa could open my playlists in Pandora also. Be nice if I could turn off Alexa/the Echo Dot without unplugging the Echo Dot.

 

[Mirah]

Just say, "Alexa Off"

 

[Loktar]

Just say, "Alexa Off"

Thanks. I stayed up way too late just mostly asking Alexa to play music. I did get 3 points on the Question of the Day though. Not hard. It was a History question and l majored in History in college.

 

[Loktar]

No, because I don't actually fap in the same room as the machine. Unless at some point I put one in the shower. What? That's the most efficient place for fappin'.

But, for the sake of providing entertainment...

"Alexa, what is a Dirty Sanchez?"
"I'm not going to answer that."
"Alexa, what is a Cleveland Steamer?"
"I'm not going to answer that."
"Alexa, what is a Screaming Ewok?"
"Oh, come on! Now you're just making shit up!"

#AbusingAlexa

Alexa, Fuck Trump.
"I can't answer that."

So maybe she can after she gets to know me better.

 

[Mirah]

Is Alexa hooked up to your phone also?

 

[Loktar]

Is Alexa hooked up to your phone also?

Yes. I still have the Google assistant as my default though.

 

[whisky]

I'm getting some bulbs that Alexa can turn on and off, because I am done getting up to reach for the light switch like a caveman.

 

[Loktar]

I'm getting some bulbs that Alexa can turn on and off, because I am done getting up to reach for the light switch like a caveman.

I was thinking of doing that but they're like $10 a bulb on Amazon.

 

[whisky]

That's cheap compared to what they cost here.