Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt

[The Tomtrek]

Tonight's episode was really good until they decided to remind everyone how good they think they are and they opened their mouths and long streaks of shit slithered out of their lips and dropped onto the diary room floor.

And now they're staying and everyone who voted for them should be put to death.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Can't the government step in or something? Declare them a biohazard, or terrorists?

 

[Fuddlemiff]

NOW BARMY EU WON'T
LET US EVICT SPEIDI

 

[CaptainWacky]

They're the entertainment!!!!!!!!11

 

[The Tomtrek]

Spencer keeps talking in this horrible low monotonous drone that makes him sound like he's always low on batteries.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

That's because he is.

 

[CaptainWacky]

He really really really really looks like a serial killer.

 

[The Tomtrek]

Oh God they're gun nuts too.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Have they talked about 9/11 being an inside job yet? They're big New World Order nuts too.

 

[CaptainWacky]

America is the greatest country in the world because Heidi can defend herself from crazed fans by shooting them.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

I'm watching that discussion now.

Heidi says that the days of reality stars setting a bad example in America are over. Which just goes to show how completely insane she is.

 

[The Tomtrek]

Woah woah woah woah woah woah WOAH, did they just equate their time in the house with the treatment of minorities in America?

FUCK.

THEM.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

I love idiotic fans who are cheering them on because THEY GET IN PEOPLE'S FACES AND DON'T PUT UP WITH ANY FAKE BS!

Meanwhile they're not listening to any of the diarrhea that comes out of their mouths when they talk.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

What awful blow-up happened? I just tuned in to a live-stream and Rylan is yelling at the top of his head, Claire's in tears, and they all hate Speidi, who are in the bedroom laughing evilly and making fun of the HMs, the British public and even British dialects.

 

[CaptainWacky]

They purposely refused to do a task (spend two hours in seperate rooms) because they knew doing as would mean Claire wouldn't get her letter from home. Then laughed about it.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

"Our letter was longer."

 

[CaptainWacky]

It was actually a clever line...

If she was actually trying to be clever. Which she probably wasn't.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

That's the thing. Too many UKers are giving them that kind of credit, thinking that they are brilliant at portraying their "characters." While they are experts at portraying reality TV villains, they are not soulful, warm people underneath. They are shrewd and observant, but they are also really that shallow, vain and petty.

They know people think what they do is comedy, but they don't want people to know just how much of it comes naturally.

 

[The Tomtrek]

AGHGHHGHGHGHGHGH SPENCER IS SO SLIMY going around talking shit about Ryan.

UUGHGSFDHSDHGDGHDGHGHGH I'M LITERALLY VOMITING.

 

[The Tomtrek]

How the mighty have fallen.