I don't have a place to put the sadness

[Mirah]

Woke up fine today
and now sad again
everything is fucking sad and emotional
I better get myself outside
that usually cures things
cures
cured ham

 

[Mirah]

This will always be one of my favorite movies

 

[Suki]

You can give your sadness to me
you have a place to put it now
I will take it
I can handle it
It lies with me now

 

[Mirah]

Thank you for taking my Sadness Suki. I trust you with it.

 

[Mirah]

Ready to take some more sadness?

This is ridiculous. I don't know how I coudl feel so sad. Also, now I see the strength that he had to get up every day, go to work and be of service and help others.

 

[jack]

 

[Mirah]

srsly

doing better now.

I'm sure this will all work itself out eventually.

 

[jack]

 

[Mirah]

Funny song

Turns out I'm not loosing my mind. Its just pademic shit.
That makes me feel better.
I mean pandemic on top of grief and whatever else is going on, the pandemic just exemplified all of it.

 

[jack]

I feel you, Mirah.

I bought a camping tent for my truck just to get the fuck out during the summer.

Everything is different.

 

[Mirah]

Darkness rose over the area
people bowed down
to thier gods
people masqueraded
attempting to hide
the darkness
they wore sunshine faces
and painted flowers on thier hands
dancing around the streets
forgetting
the war and destruction
that happened moments ago
pretending
and I did not sit in judgement
but I joined in
on the dancing
the painting
I pretended also
I bowed down
and I weeped
in slience

 

[Mirah]

 

[Mirah]

Tonight I did not have a place to put the sadness
I tried to give it away
but not hard enough
no one wanted to take it
thier plates full
So I just swept it away and put it in a box
that sits on the shelf
or I placed it in my hand
and then let the wind carry it away
like sand
I blew into my hand
and sent it away
I sang the song

 

[Mirah]

 

[jack]

 

[Mirah]

Tonight I throw the fish back into the sea

 

[jack]

 

[Mirah]

Recently it hasn't been sadness so much as an anxiety that I can't even put my hand on

A sense of unease

But for no visible reason that I can tell

 

[Mirah]

October is here

I sit up on the hill side
And I look down at the little house where you took your life
I grieve in silence
Who do I reach out to?
Where do I talk about this?
I try not to let it affect me
I try to be positive
But I know to be real
I just didnt expect to hit me again this year

 

[Mirah]

In this month I begin to think of what you must have been going through to finally get to a place where you planned to hang yourself with a rope
In the stairwell leading to the basement
You had enough
You said " this is it"
What was it?
Was there a trigger you were waiting for?
How long did you know that on that day you were done?
Where was hope