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If you had to get rid of a body

Hacksaw, juicer, cheese shredder, Elmer's Wood Glue, Strawberry-flavored Nerds, a tomahawk, five golden rings.

That is all you need right there.
 
Bladev1 said:
Richard Crafts was the ORIGINAL woodchipper killer and he was from my home state of Connecticut
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Yeah...and he got caught because enamel is too hard for a woodchipper to chip. hehehheehheheh!!!
 
ArawnApAnnwn said:
Simple. Feed the fucking body to that fat fuck called TIFF.
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Hello again St. Lucifer.


A public service announcement: the use of lime does not guarantee a safe and complete disposal of a human body.

Example: a body is buried in the ground and covered with lime. The problem becomes: lime reacts to the water and releases calcium hydroxide. The heat from the chemical reaction kills the bacteria on the body and the surrounding soil and dehydrates the body...thus delaying or even stopping decomposition. The body actually mummifies.

The problem with acids is that any acid powerful enough to eat away the bones will also have a corrosive effect on the surroundings...it eats away the container, plumbing...peels wallpaper, etc. You might get rid of a body, but you also leave a messy crime scene.

How do I know all this? Well, I just do, that's all.
 
CoyoteUgly said:
Hello again St. Lucifer.


A public service announcement: the use of lime does not guarantee a safe and complete disposal of a human body.

Example: a body is buried in the ground and covered with lime. The problem becomes: lime reacts to the water and releases calcium hydroxide. The heat from the chemical reaction kills the bacteria on the body and the surrounding soil and dehydrates the body...thus delaying or even stopping decomposition. The body actually mummifies.

The problem with acids is that any acid powerful enough to eat away the bones will also have a corrosive effect on the surroundings...it eats away the container, plumbing...peels wallpaper, etc. You might get rid of a body, but you also leave a messy crime scene.

How do I know all this? Well, I just do, that's all.
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Who is SaintLucifer??
 
As long as you puncture the major body cavities, or better yet do at least a minor butchering (cut the limbs off, quarter the torso, puncture both lungs), dumping a body in a large body of water at least a mile off of shore will usually do the job. For insurance, you may want to use a loose mesh bag (the looser the netting the better) or even a chicken-wire cage with about 20 lbs of weight to place the larger pieces in. Make sure the hands and head are disposed of well away from the rest of the body to make ID if any pieces are recovered more difficult. In any healthy body of water (which means the gulf of Mexico is a poor choice) the body will be un-identifiable save via DNA matching in about 5 days, gone save for bones in about three weeks. Even if it's found, there is little ability to trace it back to a specific person or place.
The main problem with water disposal is decay often produces gasses that fill the body cavities allowing the body to float eventually, make sure those areas have an escape path for gas and the body will usually stay sunk. The bag or chicken-wire and butchering is almost fool-proof if no one knows exactly where to look.

I'd personally dump the pieces near the Faralons (12 miles outside of the Golden Gate, known as the "red Triangle" due to the heavy shark activity). Not that I've thought about this a great deal...

From my mis-spent youth in the CG...dragged out a fair number of bodies that had been in the ocean for a few weeks or so, and we had classes on what to look for for foul play in a "floater" or a dredged up body (fishing nets or other underwater activities).
 
A woodchipper and your local swampland.

If you dont have a woodchipper then just dump it in the swamp, bacteria and animals will take care of from there.

Or, it'll sink to the bottom of the swamp and preserve itself.
 
*Pulls out shotgun and shoots Zombie in the head*

boomstick.jpg


"You see this? This is my Boomstick!"
 
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