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I'm happy

The grass was green.
 
Until my dog peed on it.
 
Not a little drunk, but drunk off my ass drunk.
 
I mean, clean out pasted and wasted drunk!
 
But it too made me happy.
 
And I sang "Drink a little beer, and drink a little scotch. Turn around and kick your neighbor in the crotch."
 
But there was no one around to kick.
 
So, I decided to kick myself.
 
It was really hard to do.
 
And it felt kinda good.
 
I kicked myself several more times.
 
And it felt better more and more each time I did.
 
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