P
Parallaxis
Guest
I'm sure I don't have anywhere near the stories that our new guests do, but I'll share some of my lame stories if it gets the ball rolling...
I already told everyone here about my friend who was dating a stripper right after high school. It was a big deal when your just 18 ! She moved into his room in his parents house (and it was really kind of small house), which we all thought was ubber creepy. We use to kid him that she WAS turning tricks on the side, and then 3 months later she left with a note saying she was turning tricks on the side and had to leave because of it. He was sad, but damn it was funny to the rest of us.
Hmm let's see....
A few years later I had another friend was dating this girl who swore she wasn't a stripper. She told him she worked at some car dealership. He said 'isn't that right next to [insert strip club name here]'. She got nervous and said she guessed. He asked her if she was stripping and she said no. Well he went online or somebody sent him some pics, I forget how he got them, but anyway somehow he found pics of her topless in a limo with a bunch of other strippers entertaining some guy. Their relationship went into a nose dive about 3 seconds after that. I only actually met her once when I went over her apartment. She was hot, and I got there just in time to see an eight foot black dude bring her coke (not as in pepsi) over to her and her roommate (who WAS a confirmed stripper). So needless to say the strippers I've met thus far in my life haven't been the most upstanding people.
Hmm what else...
Oh, A girl I use to hang out with started waiting topless at a BACKWOODS strip club out in the country. She moved in with a bunch of lesbians who also worked there. I heard there were like big lesbo like orgies over there, might have just been a guy rumor. Sadly this was after I stopped hanging out with her.
what else... These stories seem to be getting lamer and lamer but they were pretty big for a kid out in rural America...
hmmm... I had a friend who took nude pictures of some wannabe ganster's girlfriend who wanted to be stripper than gave the pictures to me which I then gave out to all their friends. I guess I'm kind of a jerk. Years later I think that guy is still driving around looking to kick my ass. But she wasn't really a stripper, maybe she became one though. Actually since most of the pictures were of her spread eagle and humping air I'm guessing she probably just went straight to porn.
About five years ago when I lived in Baltimore I was at this strip club at the Inner Habor when two Mexicans decided they were going to be funny by stealing credit card receipts out of this girl's leg garter (Before this I didn't even know you could use a credit card at a strip club). They were giving her a hard time and saying they didn't have it. She was freakin out and looking like she was going to cry, she was pretty small and looked very young. And here she was facing off with these two big Mexicans who barely spoke english. Anyway this place is always super crowed and very loud, you really have to squeeze through people. It was more like a gaint frat party than a club. Off topic, since Para grew up in the south (which is strictly toppless only) he was a little shocked to be in a place which was full on in your face completely nude. It was a two level place and the girls on the stage would climb up this gaint pole which went all the way up to the second level. I don't know if any of those girls ever feel off but I'm guessing 911 had to be on speeddial at that place. So anyway he was this little girl facing off against these two Mexicans when they kind of gesture around with their hands like they might have given it to someone else. And as luck would have it who's standing right in the direction where they're gesturing ? ME ! So now Para's sitting there like oh great, I'm about to get the shit kicked out of me when the next bouncer rolls by. So the girl looks over at me and in desperation asks if I have the credit credit receipts. I answer back 'No way! I don't even know those guys'. So she ask if she can search me ! WTF ? To this day I still don't get why she wanted to search me since I wasn't really even standing next to the Mexicans and my blond hair blue eyes ass certainly didn't look Mexican. I guess she felt safer dealing with me than those two. She probably felt she could kick my ass if push came to shove, where as these two Mexicans looked like they'd probably stick you with a knife if you pushed them to far. So here I am being felt about by this very fine, very naked girl not really sure what I'm supposed to be feeling. On one hand this naked hottie is rubbing all over me, on the other I'm being accused of a crime ! So after a few minutes this girl figures out I don't have the receipt so she runs to the front door and gets one of the guys taking money outside. I see her giving the guy the run down about what's been going on. The guy is a pretty tall white guy but he ain't Mr T kind of big. So she points over to the Mexicans and you just see this guy's face fall. You know he's thinking 'oh shit I do not want a piece of this, I knew I should have taken that job waiting tables'. So somehow he sucks it up and walks over to the Mexicans and starts asking questions. The Mexicans are laughing and denying everything so the dude gives up, turns to the girl, says 'there's nothing I can do', and walks back to the door to start taking money again. The girl just stands there with her mouth open. Now I don't know if this guy and girl were friends or maybe even dating but I'm betting if they were dating on the side this little moment just ended their relationship. So the girl wonders off deeper in the club, I guess to either find more help or go cry. At this point I'm thinking its a good time for Para to get the fuck out of Dodge and luckily enough Para's friend Dave came around the corner about that time ready to leave. So then we went down the street to a bar and as soon as we walk in their are girls dancing on the bar stripping. If you're ever in Baltimore I really suggest you check out the inner harbor.
Let's see... do I have any other stories...
A few years before the story above happened I was in a strip club in North Carolina where the strippers were famous for jumping off the stage, hanging on to the rafters, grapping you with their legs, grinding their crouch in your face, then swing back, and kick you away. I saw one guy almost get kicked over a table. Para's friends wanted him to go next, but I chicked out. I mean some of those girls had high heeled shoes on. How am I supposed to explain to my parents that I got stabbed by a stripper's shoe ?
Right when I turned 21 I took my newly married 19 year old friend to one of those real high end multi chain "gentleman" clubs. He was so pissed because, being 19, the guys at the door made him wear a bright pink T Shirt with the club's name on it so noone would try to serve him drinks. He had to sit right in front of the stage but he didn't seem to have a problem with that. Of course we had already got pretty lit up before even walking through the door. The last thing I remember was yelling at the bar "Five fucking dollars for one beer ?!?". The next thing I remember was my friend driving my car back to his parents house (him and his new wife were staying with his parents). I must have been far gone cause I hate letting other people drive my car. So he got out, I'm guessing he was still pretty drunk by then too, so he got out, started banging at the front door for someone to let him in, and so his wife opens the door and there he is standing in his bright pink strip club T shirt drunk out of his mind. They seperated not to long after that.
So that's it, I think that's all my strip club stories that involve me anyway. Lame I know. I have more like where a guy I was working with got set up by a stripper and her friend tried to car jack him. But I wasn't there for that.
So anyone have any GOOD stripper stories ?
I already told everyone here about my friend who was dating a stripper right after high school. It was a big deal when your just 18 ! She moved into his room in his parents house (and it was really kind of small house), which we all thought was ubber creepy. We use to kid him that she WAS turning tricks on the side, and then 3 months later she left with a note saying she was turning tricks on the side and had to leave because of it. He was sad, but damn it was funny to the rest of us.
Hmm let's see....
A few years later I had another friend was dating this girl who swore she wasn't a stripper. She told him she worked at some car dealership. He said 'isn't that right next to [insert strip club name here]'. She got nervous and said she guessed. He asked her if she was stripping and she said no. Well he went online or somebody sent him some pics, I forget how he got them, but anyway somehow he found pics of her topless in a limo with a bunch of other strippers entertaining some guy. Their relationship went into a nose dive about 3 seconds after that. I only actually met her once when I went over her apartment. She was hot, and I got there just in time to see an eight foot black dude bring her coke (not as in pepsi) over to her and her roommate (who WAS a confirmed stripper). So needless to say the strippers I've met thus far in my life haven't been the most upstanding people.
Hmm what else...
Oh, A girl I use to hang out with started waiting topless at a BACKWOODS strip club out in the country. She moved in with a bunch of lesbians who also worked there. I heard there were like big lesbo like orgies over there, might have just been a guy rumor. Sadly this was after I stopped hanging out with her.
what else... These stories seem to be getting lamer and lamer but they were pretty big for a kid out in rural America...
hmmm... I had a friend who took nude pictures of some wannabe ganster's girlfriend who wanted to be stripper than gave the pictures to me which I then gave out to all their friends. I guess I'm kind of a jerk. Years later I think that guy is still driving around looking to kick my ass. But she wasn't really a stripper, maybe she became one though. Actually since most of the pictures were of her spread eagle and humping air I'm guessing she probably just went straight to porn.
About five years ago when I lived in Baltimore I was at this strip club at the Inner Habor when two Mexicans decided they were going to be funny by stealing credit card receipts out of this girl's leg garter (Before this I didn't even know you could use a credit card at a strip club). They were giving her a hard time and saying they didn't have it. She was freakin out and looking like she was going to cry, she was pretty small and looked very young. And here she was facing off with these two big Mexicans who barely spoke english. Anyway this place is always super crowed and very loud, you really have to squeeze through people. It was more like a gaint frat party than a club. Off topic, since Para grew up in the south (which is strictly toppless only) he was a little shocked to be in a place which was full on in your face completely nude. It was a two level place and the girls on the stage would climb up this gaint pole which went all the way up to the second level. I don't know if any of those girls ever feel off but I'm guessing 911 had to be on speeddial at that place. So anyway he was this little girl facing off against these two Mexicans when they kind of gesture around with their hands like they might have given it to someone else. And as luck would have it who's standing right in the direction where they're gesturing ? ME ! So now Para's sitting there like oh great, I'm about to get the shit kicked out of me when the next bouncer rolls by. So the girl looks over at me and in desperation asks if I have the credit credit receipts. I answer back 'No way! I don't even know those guys'. So she ask if she can search me ! WTF ? To this day I still don't get why she wanted to search me since I wasn't really even standing next to the Mexicans and my blond hair blue eyes ass certainly didn't look Mexican. I guess she felt safer dealing with me than those two. She probably felt she could kick my ass if push came to shove, where as these two Mexicans looked like they'd probably stick you with a knife if you pushed them to far. So here I am being felt about by this very fine, very naked girl not really sure what I'm supposed to be feeling. On one hand this naked hottie is rubbing all over me, on the other I'm being accused of a crime ! So after a few minutes this girl figures out I don't have the receipt so she runs to the front door and gets one of the guys taking money outside. I see her giving the guy the run down about what's been going on. The guy is a pretty tall white guy but he ain't Mr T kind of big. So she points over to the Mexicans and you just see this guy's face fall. You know he's thinking 'oh shit I do not want a piece of this, I knew I should have taken that job waiting tables'. So somehow he sucks it up and walks over to the Mexicans and starts asking questions. The Mexicans are laughing and denying everything so the dude gives up, turns to the girl, says 'there's nothing I can do', and walks back to the door to start taking money again. The girl just stands there with her mouth open. Now I don't know if this guy and girl were friends or maybe even dating but I'm betting if they were dating on the side this little moment just ended their relationship. So the girl wonders off deeper in the club, I guess to either find more help or go cry. At this point I'm thinking its a good time for Para to get the fuck out of Dodge and luckily enough Para's friend Dave came around the corner about that time ready to leave. So then we went down the street to a bar and as soon as we walk in their are girls dancing on the bar stripping. If you're ever in Baltimore I really suggest you check out the inner harbor.
Let's see... do I have any other stories...
A few years before the story above happened I was in a strip club in North Carolina where the strippers were famous for jumping off the stage, hanging on to the rafters, grapping you with their legs, grinding their crouch in your face, then swing back, and kick you away. I saw one guy almost get kicked over a table. Para's friends wanted him to go next, but I chicked out. I mean some of those girls had high heeled shoes on. How am I supposed to explain to my parents that I got stabbed by a stripper's shoe ?
Right when I turned 21 I took my newly married 19 year old friend to one of those real high end multi chain "gentleman" clubs. He was so pissed because, being 19, the guys at the door made him wear a bright pink T Shirt with the club's name on it so noone would try to serve him drinks. He had to sit right in front of the stage but he didn't seem to have a problem with that. Of course we had already got pretty lit up before even walking through the door. The last thing I remember was yelling at the bar "Five fucking dollars for one beer ?!?". The next thing I remember was my friend driving my car back to his parents house (him and his new wife were staying with his parents). I must have been far gone cause I hate letting other people drive my car. So he got out, I'm guessing he was still pretty drunk by then too, so he got out, started banging at the front door for someone to let him in, and so his wife opens the door and there he is standing in his bright pink strip club T shirt drunk out of his mind. They seperated not to long after that.
So that's it, I think that's all my strip club stories that involve me anyway. Lame I know. I have more like where a guy I was working with got set up by a stripper and her friend tried to car jack him. But I wasn't there for that.
So anyone have any GOOD stripper stories ?
