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LUX

A photograph can show a physical image in which time is static, and a mirror can show a physical image in which time is dynamic, but I think what he saw on the mountain was another kind of image altogether which was not physical and did not exist in time at all. It was an image nevertheless and that is why he felt recognition.
 
Like that timber wolf on the mountain he had a kind of animal courage. He went on his own way with unconcern for consequences that sometimes stunned people, and stuns me now to hear about it. He did not often swerve to right or to left. I've discovered that.
 
But this courage didn't arise from any idealistic idea of self-sacrifice, only from the intensity of the pursuit, and there was nothing noble about it.
 
I think his pursuit of the ghost of rationality occurred because he wanted to wreak revenge on it, because he felt he himself was so shaped by it. He wanted to free himself from his own image. He wanted to destroy it because the ghost was what he was and he wanted to be free from the bondage of his own identity.
 
One Friday I had gone to work and gotten quite a lot done before the weekend and was happy about that and later day drove to a party where, after talking to everybody too long and too loudly and drinking way too much, went into a back room to lie down for a while.
 
When I awoke I saw that I'd slept the whole night, because now it was daylight, and I thought, "My God, I don't even know the name of the hosts!" and wondered what kind of embarrassment this was going to lead to.
 
Three different times a stranger stopped me and asked how I felt. Thinking they were referring to my drunken condition I replied that I didn't even have a hangover, which caused one them to start to laugh, but then catch himself.
 
I sat down nearby, hoping to remain unnoticed until I got all this figured out. But a woman dressed in white came up to me and asked if I knew her name. I read the little name clip on her blouse. She didn't see that I was doing this and seemed amazed, and walked off in a hurry.
 
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