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My car was destroyed yesterday while I was in it

eloisel said:
More than a month later and this thing is still going on. Got a new car today - a used 2014 Ford Focus. I must have been insane when I bought it. It has a million gadgets on it and a 491 page instruction book written by a sadist. I am afraid I am going to accidentally program the car to lock me out digitally and my standard keys will not let me in or start the ignition. However, if I do this right, my car will start itself and have coffee and biscuits ready for me when I get into it in the morning and greet me with fresh baked cookies in the evening when I get off work. It will call me if suspicious looking characters appear and it will parallel park itself. Perhaps I can train it to get a job and support me so I can retire.
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"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't let you do that..."
 
I haven't driven a car in almost 20 years -- I would be utterly terrified of managing all the new gadgets and circuitry in today's cars.
 
I still miss my Saturn. It was a very nice car for riding and driving and wasn't all that complicated.

My insurance is going up $30 a month even though the accident wasn't my fault.
 
I'd be quite sad if my Mustang was totaled. I love it and I'd never be able to find one like it. Still, that would give me an excuse to get the '15 in Guard Green and basically make it a Bullitt tribute.

Speaking of which, that is the only thing I really still want to do to mine--put on a Bullitt-style heat extractor hood. But that would run me around $1,500 and I'm not paying that to replace a perfectly good hood. Besides, then I'd have to try to sell the old one or find a place to put it in my crowded garage.
 
I dont even own a car anymore. Havent had one in 6 years now.

I use my unicycle when I need motorized transport
 
Have to find a bike rack. Both of mine are for sedans.
This wreck causes all kinds of problems.
 
And, now, I've agreed to sell my house with an extremely motivated buyer. There is a house with a swimming pool just came on the market that I want to look at. It is summer, in Texas. A girl needs a pool in the summertime in Texas.

Did you know that Cotton Mather was a liberal?
 
I take it the Cotton Mather is a liberal thing was something the Saint said? It sounds like something stupid enough to come out of him.
 
Actually, what I said was significantly different. But as is almost universally true of the mentally ill and liberals (but I repeat myself) what is written is almost never what they read.
 
Oh, look -- people who personally dislike me are talking shit about my work again; meanwhile, people who don't have a personal axe to grind think it's awesome. Guess who I listen to on the topic. :)
 
You being a stupid fuckhead and me liking (or not liking) you are two completely different things. Try to keep up.
 
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