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Shouldn't we be in church?

Ishcabittle

Ishcabittle

Well-known member
Shame on us.

There are so many more productive things we could be doing right now. Like, being in church for instance. Don't consider it time spent at church, consider it an investment in the bank account of the afterlife.
 
We could be baking brownies for the blind.
 
I could finally get started on that boat-in-a-bottle project...
 
There's that knitting I've been meaning to get to...
 
Brewing coffee, making instant oatmeal, and browsing TK isn't a productive morning in Jesus' book.
 
OHHELLSNO.gif


I LIKE BEING UNPRODUCTIVE, AND CONTRIBUTING NOTHING TO SOCIETY.
 
Maybe I should actually do some work while I'm here at the office...
 
...nah. Work is for suckers and Christians.
 
Maybe I should do some work....



Oh yeah, I don't have a job.
 
What would I be doing in church? Felching?
 
Apparently (and this is just what I've heard) going to church get's you some sort of special room in heaven, overlooking the pool/nude beach.

You can be a bastard, a killer, a whore, or a thief, but go to church and that special room (with room service!) is yours.
 
I'd still rather spam the Mine Field.
 
Surely God isn't gullible enough to fall for the: rape, pillage, kill, maim, torture, steal, cheat, molest, lie then quickly repent in the last twenty seconds schtick?


And if he is I am sure I can beat him at chess or something (or was that William Sadler?) and blag a way into heaven if I'm wrong and it all does exists and I was still a good sort who just didn't wear a day-glo head band and play acoustic guitar every sunday?
 
Yeah, captain. Me too.
 
Now this is just what I've heard, but yeah. Last minute redemption (with a priest present) works.

Take note, guy who stands on my street corner, eyeing my dog's haunches.
 
OMG, Sloan played Death in Bill and Ted, RIGHT?
 
Yah. Always picking up on my subtle pop-culture references ;)
 
When I get ready to kick the bucket, I'm going to make sure my second in command has a couple of proton torpedoes to fire on my transporter signal, then beam up at the last second.

OWNED, GOD! OWNED!
 
I have transphasic topedoes. I want to fire them up Chakotays bum.
 
THERE ARE 600 MILLION TORPS. MORE ARE BEING PRODUCED AS WE SPEAK!

IN MY BALLSACKS!!!
 
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