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SPAMCAPITAL OMEGA: THE REMAKE OF THE REMAKE OF THE SPAM

"Spirit!" he cried, tight clutching at its robe, "hear me!
I am not the man I was. I will not be the man I must
have been but for this intercourse. Why show me this, if I
am past all hope!"
 
For the first time the hand appeared to shake.
 
"Good Spirit," he pursued, as down upon the ground he
fell before it: "Your nature intercedes for me, and pities
me. Assure me that I yet may change these shadows you
have shown me, by an altered life!"
 
"I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it
all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the
Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I
will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh, tell me I
may sponge away the writing on this stone!"
 
In his agony, he caught the spectral hand. It sought to
free itself, but he was strong in his entreaty, and detained it.
The Spirit, stronger yet, repulsed him.
 
Holding up his hands in a last prayer to have his fate
reversed, he saw an alteration in the Phantom's hood and dress.
It shrunk, collapsed, and dwindled down into a bedpost.
 
A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

STAVE V:

THE END

OF IT
 
YES! and the bedpost was his own.
The bed was his own,
the room was his own.
 
Best and happiest of all, the Time before
him was his own, to make amends in!
 
"I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future!"
Scrooge repeated, as he scrambled out of bed. "The Spirits
of all Three shall strive within me.
 
Oh Jacob Marley! Heaven, and the Christmas
Time be praised for this! I say it on my knees,
old Jacob; on my knees!"
 
He was so fluttered and so glowing with his good intentions,
that his broken voice would scarcely answer to his call.
 
He had been sobbing violently in his conflict with
the Spirit, and his face was wet with tears.
 
"They are not torn down," cried Scrooge, folding one of his
bed-curtains in his arms, "they are not torn down, rings and all.
 
They are here--I am here--the shadows of the things that would
have been, may be dispelled. They will be. I know they will!"
 
His hands were busy with his garments all this time;
turning them inside out, putting them on upside down,
tearing them, mislaying them, making them parties to every
kind of extravagance.
 
"I don't know what to do!" cried Scrooge, laughing and
crying in the same breath; and making a perfect Laocoön
of himself with his stockings.
 
"I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as
an angel, I am as merry as a schoolboy.
 
I am as giddy as a drunken man. A merry Christmas to
everybody! A happy New Year to all the world. Hallo
here! Whoop! Hallo!"
 
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